[en]Three competing store owners rented adjoining(毗连的) shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem(故意的伤害罪，蓄意的破坏) to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains! The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts! The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.[/en][cn] 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺，旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：大减价!特便宜! 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：大砍价!大折扣! 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：入口处。子付帐。“零钱不用找了。”他说。[/cn]

[en]Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?[/en][cn]你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。[/cn] [en]A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.[/en][cn]把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。[/cn]

[en]Teacher: Clyde, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?[/en][cn]老师: clyde, 你的作文"我的狗狗"里写的东西和你哥哥写得一模一样. 你是不是抄袭了他的?[/cn] [en]Clyde : No sir, it’s the same dog.[/en][cn]Clyde: 不是这样的,老师! 我们俩养的是同一只狗狗.[/cn]  

[en]George comes from school on the first of September. George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother. I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....[/en][cn]9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。 乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。 妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。[/cn]

[en]Selling secondhand books at our church bazaar, I got into an argument with a prospective customer. He was interested in buying The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash but claimed it was overpriced at 35 cents. Other paperbacks were selling for ten or 15 cents each.[/en][cn]在教堂的义卖市上卖旧书时，我与一名准备买东西的顾客发生了一场争论。他对购买袖珍奥金.纳什集颇感兴趣，但是说它要三十五美分开价过高。其它的平装书每本才卖十或十五美分。[/cn] [en]I pointed out that the book was in good condition. Nash was a fun poet, and it was for a good cause. He said it was a matter of principle. Ultimately, I agreed to sell him the book for 15 cents. Triumphant, he paid with a $10 bill. "Keep the change," he said.[/en][cn]大的美女编辑们我指出这本书保存状况颇好，纳什是个有趣的诗人，这个要价是合理的。他说这是个原则问题。最终，我同意以十五美分的价格将这本书卖给他。他得意洋洋，拿出一张十美元的票子付帐。“零钱不用找了。”他说。 [/cn]

[en]Once there was a blind. [/en][cn]从前有个瞎子。[/cn] [en]One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. [/en][cn]一天，他正在行路时踩着了一只正在睡觉的狗的脑袋[/cn] [en]The dog barked for a while.[/en][cn]狗汪汪汪地叫了一阵。[/cn] [en]The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's

有个朋友来加拿大第一次去吃牛排，服务员问How would you like your steak done? 我朋友没一听懂，就听别人点的时候说medium , 他就想“我不能跟他们学” 他就跟服务员说，large please. 服务员一愣，说sorry we don’t have that.  然后他又说，small please. 服务员又吓了一跳，说sorry we don’t have that. 他身边的朋友着急了，告诉他，人家问你牛排要几分熟。 他随口就说80%。 服务员又一愣说，sorry we don’t have that……

[en]A person with six children or a person with $6 million, who is better satisfied? Why?[/en][cn]一个有六个孩子的人和一个有600万美元的人，谁更满足?为什么?[/cn]     [en]The person with six children of course. Because the one with $6 million wants more.[/en][cn]当然是有六个孩子的那个，因为有600万美元那个还想要得更多。[/cn]

[en]A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"[/en] [cn]一个小孩问他的父亲：“爸爸，上帝是男人还是女人？”[/cn] [en]"Both son. God is both."[/en] [cn]“他二者皆是，孩子，上帝二者皆是。”[/cn] [en]After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"[/en] [cn]过了一会，孩子又问：“爸爸，上帝是黑人还是白人？”[/cn] [en]"Both

[en]Dusk, I jog in the road industry. Have a young man ran up from behind me, in my ear hastily cried: "Run!" "What happened?" I ask young people around him. "Ran quickly." Young people go in front of me. My rapid recovery of the 500 meters after the breathless questions: "What happened in the end?" "You run too slow." Young people leaving me, a big move back and forth.[/en][cn]黄昏的时候，我在产业道路上慢跑。有一个年轻人从我后面跑上来，在我耳边急促地叫着：“快跑！”“发生了什么事？”我问身旁的年轻人。“赶快跑。”年轻人跑到我的前面。我快速的追了五百公尺以后，气喘吁吁的追问：“到底发生了什么事？”“你跑得太慢了。”年轻人丢下我，自顾自往前跑去。 [/cn]