作者：商绮羽 译 来源：thoughtcatalog 2014-09-21 09:00
More often than not, you encounter days where you just want someone in your life. This can be triggered by watching romantic comedies, reading an article on the internet or seeing your best friend happily settled with someone. Yes, they come, and they’re perfectly natural, but are you sure that’s what you really want?
1. You’re just in love with the concept of love.
Cliché but this is most likely the situation if you think a relationship will save your life’s monotony. People always have a romanticized notion of what having a boyfriend or girlfriend would make them feel like. You toy with the idea of having someone constantly with you, the dates and the candlelit dinners, but the exhilaration of having one only lasts in its early stages. If you expect too much from it you might jump into the first potential relationship you find and end up disappointed.
2. Do you even know yourself well enough already?
It’s important to know yourself before becoming part of a relationship. If you don’t stand for anything, you’ll find yourself unconsciously giving too much and questioning if it was even enough.
Set standards on the people you want to be in your life and how you want to be treated. Know what you’re worth and eventually, you’ll make him or her believe it too.
3. You just got out of one recently.
When you’ve just broken up with your ex, finding a rebound would seem like the most convenient solution. It’s an easy distraction from the past, all of a sudden your attention is claimed by someone else.
However, this shortcut to recovery is also short-lived. If you’re not genuinely ready, it will show. Give it time, enjoy being single and save someone else from the heart ache.
4. You can’t even make yourself happy.
Some people assume that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is the ticket to happiness. They think that it will make things lighter and easier because there’s someone there to make them feel content. Though relationships may have this effect, you have to note that if your happiness is dependent on someone else and this person doesn’t meet those expectations, you’ll end up more miserable than you started.
It’s your job to make yourself feel happy and fulfilled, with or without a partner. A relationship simply adds value to you but it shouldn’t be the one that completes you.
5. Will it fit in your priorities?
If you’re a person who has a vision and a plan, this is a good question to ask yourself. How will a romantic relationship fit in with your priorities? If you know that right now, you’re still building your career and there’s a lot at stake, is it the right time to have one? While you’re finishing one project after another, having a boyfriend or girlfriend is a nice to have that you think about during your breaks.
If you’re fully aware that it’s not one of your main concerns, there’s a high probability that you’ll take your partner for granted. It would be more beneficial and practical for you to allocate your time to what’s important to you as of the moment and avoid disappointing someone else.
It’s easy to be blinded by the media, past experiences and couples that you encounter about what a romantic relationship will bring you. But before you get consumed by your desire to have one or worse, be brought down by its current unattainability, be wise enough to think twice about it, what you want right now might not be what you need.