"Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is claiming victory in Iran. It's controversial and he is very unpopular. And the danger is this - he could ruin the political career of his brother, Jeb." --David Letterman
穆罕默德·艾哈迈德-内贾德在伊朗宣布大选胜利。这很有争议，他现在很不受欢迎，危险的地方还在于——他可能毁掉他弟弟杰布的政治前程。——大卫·莱特曼

杰布其实是小布什的弟弟，这里莱特曼说来说去又说到当年小布什的事情了。不过布什的这个弟弟在共和党人中口碑很好，曾经担任佛罗里达州的州长并成功连任。老布什曾经说杰布是最合适入主白宫的人。不知道未来我们会不会看到杰布·布什成为白宫的布什三世。

"No, it's sad about Iran, but what do you expect about a country with a government that's propped up by oil, that's led by a religious wacko? Kind of like Alaska." --Bill Maher
不，伊朗现在很悲惨，但是你能从一个依靠石油起家的政府通知的国家期待什么呢？这个政府还是由一个宗教疯子统治的，跟阿拉斯加似的。——比尔·马赫

大家知道阿拉斯加的州长是谁吗？莎拉·佩林

"But the Iranian government is planning a curfew because things are getting so crazy in Iran. And I thought if there is one thing an angry mob respects, by God, it's a curfew, isn't it?" --David Letterman
不过因为伊朗的事态走向太疯狂了，所以伊朗政府正在计划宵禁。我想如果还有一件事能让一个愤怒的帮派尊敬的，也就是宵禁了是吧。——大卫·莱特曼

"But the Iranian supreme leader says the election results are official. He said, 'It's over, the election results are official. And besides that, it costs too much torig another election.'" --David Letterman
但是伊朗最高法院领导人说大选结果是官方的。他说，“都结束了，大选结果是正式的，除此之外，再办一场选举开销太大了。”——大卫·莱特曼

"Former Vice President Dick Cheney is in the news. Cheney has signed a publishing deal to write his memoirs. I don't want to spoil anything, but it ends with him killing Obi-Wan Kenobi.'" --Conan O'Brien
前副总统迪克·切尼上新闻了。切尼已经签了一份协议写他的传记。我不想透露什么内容，不过传记的结局是他杀死了Obi-Wan Kenobi。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"Toyota has begun production on a Prius Hearse which they say will be better for the environment than the traditional gas-powered hearse. Experts say it's the perfect way to tell everyone at your funeral procession, 'I'm judging you from beyond the grave.'" --Conan O'Brien
丰田公司开始生产普锐斯灵车 ，他们说这种车比传统的燃气动力的灵车更环保。专家说对于每个参加你的葬礼的人来说都是一种很好的方式，“我不只从你的坟墓评判你。”——柯南·奥布莱恩  

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