Pre-reading Questions

1. What is a compromise? Skim the first paragraph of the text to find it out and then give a definition of it in your own words.
2. What is the most difficult compromise you have ever made? First, tell your classmates what the situation was, and let them guess what you decided to do. Then, explain what you actually did, why you did so, and how you feel about it now.

The Language of Compromise

Leslie Dunkling

"Let me give you one piece of advice," I said to Ted and Mary just before they got married a few years ago. "If you want to stay happily married, always be prepared to compromise. When you have different opinions about something, you each give way a little. You take the middle course. That is compromise." And I'm glad to say that the young couple seemed to take that advice.
I remember when they took their first holiday together. Ted wanted to do something energetic, because he didn't usually get much exercise during the year. Mary's job meant that she was on her feet most of the time. All she wanted to do was lie in the sun. Ted hated the idea of lying on a beach; Mary hated the idea of being too active. They compromised, and took their holiday in mid-summer, high in the Alps. Mary was able to lie in the sun by the hotel swimming pool, while Ted went off for long walks in the mountains with a group of hikers. In the evening they met at the hotel, both content with their day, happy to eat a leisurely meal together and dance a little afterwards.
They compromised over everything and they were very happy.
To complete their happiness, they had a baby when they had been married for three years—a son. But that, strangely, was when the problem arose. They had to name their son, of course, and each had a name in mind; not the same name, unfortunately. It seemed that a situation had arisen where compromise was impossible. Ted wanted to call their son Robert, Mary wanted to call him Lawrence. How can you compromise with names like that? No, this time one of them would have to give way, it seemed. There would have to be a winner, and a loser. That was how they saw things, at least.
Mary told me all about it when I called at the hospital two days after the baby's birth.
"Ted wants to call him Robert," Mary said, "because there's a tradition in his family. The eldest son is always Robert or Edward. His father was Robert, his grandfather Edward, his great-grandfather Robert, and so on."
"That seems reasonable," I said.
"I don't want my son to be named after someone in the family," Mary said. "He's a unique individual, and I want him to have a name that no one else in the family has had. I want to call my son Lawrence."
"That seems reasonable, too," I said.
"Everyone's been giving me advice," Mary said. Then she told me who had given her advice, and what advice she had been given, (but not in the same order). I had to guess who gave what advice. Maybe you'd like to try to do that as well?

These were the people:

1) Uncle Fred, who was a painter, and liked vivid colours.
2) Aunt Sybil, who spent every spare minute in her garden.
3) Cousin John, who spent far too much of his time at horse races and simply couldn't resist a gamble.
4) Mary's friend, Sue, who was very active in the Women's Liberation Movement.
5) Ted's brother David, an actor with a high opinion of himself.
6) Mary's father, a music professor.
7) Mary's mother, who loved Shakespeare.
8) Mary's friend, Catherine, known to be rather snobbish.

Here, in a different order, is the advice they gave Mary:

a) "Spin a coin, and decide that way."
b) "David's rather a nice name. That would be a good compromise."
c) "Tell your husband that you had the child so you have the right to choose his name."
d) "I've always liked the names Johann Sebastian."
e) "Call him William. He'll be a sweet William. What a pity you didn't have a girl. There are such lovely names for girls — Heather, Rosemary, Lily, Fern, Daisy."
f) "He's got blond hair. You could call him Boyd — which means yellow."
g) "Charles is rather a refined name, don't you think? Not Robert, though, or Lawrence. Too ordinary, my dear."
h) "Hamlet would make an unusual, but attractive name."
Well, I soon sorted out who suggested what, then I gave my own advice, "Compromise!"
"How?" said Mary.
"In the same way as my parents," I said. "My father felt that I should be named after his father, and my mother felt the same way about naming me after her father. So, I'm named after both of them."
"You mean, they were both called Samuel?" said Mary.
"No. One was George, the other was Albert. Samuel is the compromise. I'm named George Albert Samuel, but called Samuel."
And so it was that my nephew was named Robert William Lawrence, but is called Lawrence.
(796 words)