1.These Hungarians -- they're just using you for dragon fodder.

2.Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. She's interfering with my sleep, she's interfering with my work... and if I had another significant aspect of my life, I'm sure she'd be interfering with that too.
Leonard 你得想办法搞定Penny。她打扰我睡觉,打扰我工作...如果我生活中还有其他重要的方面,我肯定她也会来干扰。

3.I wanted a griffin... I was studying recombinant DNA technology and I was confident I could create one, but my parents were unwilling to secure the necessary eagle eggs and lion semen. Of course my sister got swimming lessons when she wanted them.

4.I'm not insane -- my mother had me tested.

5.Hot air blowers are incubators and spewers of bacteria and pestilence. Frankly it'd be more hygenic if they just had a plague-infested gibbon sneeze my hands dry.

6.A tremendous accomplishment would be if the planetary body he discovered were plummeting toward Earth and he exploded it with his mind.

7.I bought these Star Wars sheets but they turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep. I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me.

8.I'm clearly too evolved for driving.

9.Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I, too, was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was fourteen. And I had already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics, although it's more likely that you'll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make papier-mâché volcanoes with baking soda lava.
看着你们这些年轻的新鲜面孔,不禁想起了当年还是小研究生时我也如此决定自己的研究方向。当然,那时我才14岁。即使9点就得睡觉 ,那时也已小有成就,在座大多数至今望尘莫及。你们中或许有一两位具备天赋,在理论物理上有所建树,当然啦,各位的科学前程将更有可能教授五年级学生怎样用烘烤苏打粉来糊个纸火山。

10.I never eat in strange restaurants. One runs the risk of non-standard cutlery.... Three tines is not a fork. Three tines is a trident. Forks are for eating, tridents are for ruling the Seven Seas.