That was Carrot Top funny compared to this comedic tour de force.
tour de force 杰作，绝技
tour de force是个法语来着，表示精妙绝伦。这句话就有那种“小巫见大巫”的意思。
Carrot Top是常驻赌城的一位喜剧演员，以扮相夸张出名。（《越狱》的时候知道这人的……）
 

It was pretty groundbreaking subject matter at the time,
groundbreaking 开创性的
本意是破土的，引申为有开创性意义的

You guys need to stop being such asses and start being bad-asses. 
ass在俚语中有傻冒的意思，而bad-ass则不是坏蛋哦，指那种我行我素，很有个性，气场很强，别人不敢惹的角色。
 
a list was posted ranking McKinley's ten ugliest Gingers.
ginger是指肤色很白，但是顶着一头红发的人，在西方文化中经常被歧视来着。

I would've been embarrassed I was beaten to the punch. 
beat to the punch 捷足先登

I cannot have these shenanigans at this school! 
shenanigan 恶作剧

Back off. I didn't do squat. 
squat 什么也没有 nothing at all
didn't do squat是强调什么也没做，不是双重否定表示肯定哈。

Man, this song is wack. 
wack 很挫，很衰 Something that just plain sucks, or isn't cool at all.

I'm talking about full-on chaos
full-on 完全的，绝对的
是个英国常用的口语。

As you know, I'm taken.
be taken 名花有主
除了not available之外的另一种说法。