Every year, educators talk about budget cuts and their school's inability to do what's necessary to equip students for life after graduation. As I have frequently stated, teachers are heroes, and I recognize there's never quite enough money to do what's necessary to prepare our emerging adults. Preparedness actually costs quite a bit.
教育工作者每年都抱怨预算削减,学校没办法保证学生毕业后能养活自己。我经常说,老师是英雄。我承认要教给刚刚成年的学生足够的本领花多少钱都不够,为安身立命做准备可要花不少钱。

There is a form of preparedness, however, that has nothing to do with money. It has everything to do with the price tag attached to genuinely preparing young adults for the world into which they will soon graduate. I actually don't think it's a money problem. For both parents and educators, I think we're often unwilling or unable to pay the price it takes in other ways. Here are six big price tags we must be willing to pay:
而有一种准备的方式完全不需要花钱,那是真正能帮助年轻人在毕业后踏进新世界世界的价签。我倒不觉得这是钱的问题。我认为无论是家长还是教育工作者都不愿意也无力负担别的方式。下面六种“钱”我们就得心甘情愿地花了。

1. You must have insight and foresight.
得有洞察力和远见。

The first price tag is taking time to spot their strengths and weaknesses to see what areas they'll need to grow in to be ready. This requires careful observation. Then, we need the foresight to envision what they'll need down the road to make it as an adult. This requires perspective and experience. All of this means investing energy.
洞察力是指花点时间来看清他们的长处和短处,看看还需要在哪些方面有所提高。这需要仔细的观察。我们还需要远见,预见他们将来还需要什么,好成为成熟的大人。这需要视野和经验,这一切都意味着精力的投入。

2. You must exhibit courage to have emotional conversations.
你得有勇气展开富有激情的对话

I just had an emotionally expensive conversation with a twenty-something. She has neglected to budget her money well, and over-spends her salary regularly. Then, she calls others for help. I've found it's much easier to just give her $100 than to have the emotional conversation needed to explain why it's not wise to keep giving her money. It's harder to train a young adult than to simply give them what they want.
我刚刚和一个二十几岁的年轻人来了一场情绪高昂的对话。她拒绝好好做预算,经常花太多工资,然后就叫别人帮忙。我发觉给她100刀比激情洋溢地跟她谈为什么要存钱容易多了。要把年轻人教好比他们想要什么就直接给他们难得多了。

3. You must be able to face being disliked and misunderstood.
他们可能不喜欢你,可能不理解你,你要有能力面对这样的情况。

Along the way, if you're going to prepare them for the future, you will likely make them angry with you. You'll have to say "no," "wait," "here's why you can't do that" or "here's why you must learn to do this." You'll be leading them down difficult paths. They won't appreciate you in the moment, and they may even hate you for a while. Are you OK with that?
如果你要为他们的未来做打算,他们可能会生气。你会说“不行”,“等等”,“我告诉你为什么不行”,或是“我告诉你为什么必须学着做这个”。你将带他们走一条困难的小路。他们现在不会感激你,甚至会讨厌你,你受得了么?

4. You must spot environments for them to experiment in growth. 
你得给他们创造环境在实验中成长。

Young people don't grow through mere lectures or even watching videos. Ultimately, they need to try new things. I believe humans are like rubber bands -- we are only useful when we are stretched. This means we need to create or identify places that are safe for them to try and fail and to apply what they think they know. They need a lab, not just a lecture. This can be laborious, but I've found it is always worth it.
年轻人的成长不单靠上大课或看视频。最终,他们需要尝试新的东西。我相信人就像橡皮筋一样,只有绷紧了才是有用的。这意味着我们得创造或是找出安全的地方,让他们尝试,失败,实践他们觉得自己知道的东西。他们需要一个实验室,而不只是课堂。

5. You must invest time -- a lot of it.
你得花时间——很多时间。

Preparing them for responsible adulthood doesn't happen overnight. It requires patience on our part and hours of forgiving, correcting, comforting, explaining and guiding. Often, we just don't have the time, or won't take the time to do this. We're too busy or preoccupied with our own stuff. For us, time is more valuable than money -- and it's just too costly to spend it. Do you have time?
要让他们长成负责任的大人不是一朝一夕能成功的。我们得有耐心,得花时间原谅他们,纠正他们,安慰他们,向他们解释并引领他们前行。问题是我们很少有时间,有时间也不做这些。我们忙着做自己的事情。对我们而言,时间比金钱更宝贵——花时间太奢侈了。你有时间么?

6. You must demonstrate your faith in them.
你得让他们知道你相信他们。

Finally, you can't prepare them well if you don't display a belief in their potential. They can spot it if you don't really think they can do it. In fact, this shows up when we do things for them. Think for a moment: when we cover for them, we scream, "You obviously can't pull this off on your own. Let me do it for you." This is the ultimate insult. It makes them risk averse.
最后,如果你不告诉他们你对他们的未来有信心,你就没法让他们为将来做很好的准备。如果你觉得他们做不到,他们是会发现的。事实上,这从我们为他们做的事情当中就看得出来。想一下:如果我们帮他们做事情的时候尖声说“你自己肯定做不了,我来帮你做。”这就变成侮辱了,他们就不愿意冒险了。

I spent an hour on the phone last week with a young adult who did not understand why I would not do something for him. He knew I could do it -- but I knew if I did, he'd never learn to do it himself. We both cried. It was the most difficult discussion I've had this year. As we hung up the phone, I was sure he not only misunderstood my action, but probably now hated me. I am fairly certain, however, that he will appreciate me years from now. In the end, I am investing for his successful future, not my popular present. How will you spend your time and energy? Are you willing to pay these price tags?
我上个星期和一个年轻人打了一个小时电话,他不明白我为什么不帮他。他知道我可以帮他的,但是我知道要是我帮他做了,他就永远不会自己做了。我们都哭了。这是今年最让我难过的一次谈话了。挂电话的时候我觉得他不仅不明白我的用意,没准还恨上我了。但是我确定他几年以后会感谢我的。我的努力最终是为了他以后成功,而不是我自己现在是否被人喜欢。你会怎么投入时间和精力?你愿意花这个钱吗?

声明:双语文章中,中文翻译仅代表译者个人观点,仅供参考。如有不妥之处,欢迎指正。