如何写出中考英语高分作文
三、习作点评
[2004年全国中学生英语能力竞赛初赛初三组] (14分)
Choose one of your hobbies and write an article for the school magazine about it. Tell the magazine readers.
·What exactly your hobby is;
·When and how you became interested in this hobby;
·Why you enjoy your hobby;
·About your hopes and plans for the future.
写作要求:
1.根据所提供的内容,适当拓展想象空间,灵活地将提供的信息体现在文章中。
2.条理清楚,语句通顺,书写清晰、规范。
3.词数60-80.
[学生习作A]
My hobby is read books①.When I was seven years old.I became interested in reading books.I like needing books because there are a lot of useful things in books.I can learn a lot of knowledge from books. Books also② can teach me how to be a good person.Books even can solve many problems for me.I will read more good books to improve myself.
①改为reading books,动词作表语时应该用动名词。
②also的位置应放在can之后。
[点评]:档次9-11分。
①要点不全,漏掉最后一个要点。
②句子基本无误,能正确传递信息给读者但文章不流畅,句子与句子之间过渡不自然,给读者感觉在回答上述问题。
③有少量错误。
[学生习作B]
My hobby is reading.Reading books is very enjoyable.When I was young ,my mother used to tell me a story before.I went to bed every night.The stories were so interesting that I always felt they weren’t enough.So I began to read books by myself.Little by little I became interested in reading.I can learn much knowledge and many interesting things all over the world.When I read books,I can enjoy the beautiful sentences.At the same time I can improve my writing.I want to be a writer in the future,so I must study hard and read more books so that my dream can come true.
①开门见山、点题。
②真情流露,理由充分。
③文中带圈的连词使用得恰当,使文章过渡自然、
④巧妙使用句型以表决心。
[点评]:档次13-14分。
①清楚表达写作目的,要点齐全。
②语言表达灵活多样,字里行间流露出真情实感,文章有感染力。
③恰当使用连词和从句,语言流畅,且无错误,是一篇高质量的作文。
[高分突破]
①文体:记叙文。
②要点:what → when →how → why → hope and plan for the future.
③时态:一般现在时,一般过去时,一般将来时的自然变化。
内容具有开放性,但它也是“控制性”的写作试题,因此不能随意发挥,要善于抓信息,写完要点。选用这两篇学生真实习作,一是因为他们选材相同,二是因为他们都是英语成绩优秀的同学。同学B灵活使用连词so…that,so,little by little,when,so that等,恰到好处地使用新句型和短语used to,became interested in,come true……等,使内容丰富,读起来优美流畅。其实这些表达同学A也会,只是缺乏技术加工。通过这两篇作文点评,同学们便能悟出其中的奥妙。