"But the governor of South Carolina, Governor Sanford has lately been seen not wearing his wedding ring. And I was thinking, geez, I hope he didn't lose it while he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Then he'll never find it." --David Letterman
但是据观察，最近南卡罗来纳州的州长，桑福德州长已经没有戴婚戒了。我那会想，老天，我希望他不是在阿巴拉契亚山远足的时候丢掉的，要是那样的话他就永远也找不回来了。——大卫·莱特曼

"President Obama throws out the first pitch at the All-Star Game. And people are criticizing him because he had the big baggy jeans on…I want to tell you something. In all honesty, if we had wanted a president who looked good in pants, we'd have elected Hillary." --David Letterman
奥巴马总统在全明星赛上投出了第一个球。人们都在批评他因为他穿了一条松松垮垮的牛仔裤——我很想跟你们说一句话，发自肺腑的，要是咱们想要一个穿裤子穿的好看的总统的话，咱们当初就应该选希拉里。——大卫·莱特曼

"A new book reveals that George Bush's twin daughters Jenna and Barbara were a nightmare for Secret Service to keep tabs on. The girls responded, 'That's not true. We had tabs at every bar we went to.'" --Jimmy Fallon
一本新书披露说乔治·布什的双胞胎女儿吉娜和芭芭拉曾是特勤部监视工作的恶梦。女孩们回应说：“那不是真的，我们在去过的每一家酒吧都留了账单。”——吉米·法伦

"I know where I'm going to go on my next break. I'm going to the C Street House in Washington, D.C. You know what this is? It's kind of a frat house for Christian congressman, where they live and pray together and counsel each other on how to adhere to the nine commandments." --Bill Maher
我知道我下次休假去哪里了，我要去华盛顿特区的C街，你知道那是什么吗？这是一种基督徒国会议员们的兄弟会房区，他们住在那里，一起祈祷互相劝导如何遵守九诫。——比尔·马赫

基督教义本来是摩西十诫的，这里变成了九诫，少了哪一个呢？咱们往下看。

"I say the nine commandments because Gov. Sanford hung out there, John Ensign, the Senator from Nevada who was banging his chief of staff's wife, he lives there. And now a third alumnus, a former Republican congressman named Chip Pickering, has also been exposed for cheating on his wife, apparently actually in the house. It kind of makes you miss those innocent days when Republicans just tried to blow a stranger in an airport bathroom." --Bill Maher
我说九诫是因为桑福德州长在那里混，内华达州的参议员约翰·恩赛，这个因为和下属的妻子乱搞丢掉了工作的家伙，他住在那。现在第三位“志同道合”的人也来了，这个前共和党议员奇普·皮克林被爆对妻子不忠，他也在那里。这有点让人怀念那个纯真年代，那时候共和党人只是试图在一个机场的卫生间性骚扰一个陌生人。——比尔·马赫

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