大家好，这是沪江剑桥商务英语网针对沪江网友在BEC写作中所遇到的棘手问题而新设的一个作文辅导栏目。每期栏目我们都会邀请到BEC名师对沪江论坛BEC版块的网友作文进行评点，为各位同学在BEC的考试准备中助你一臂之力。

想让名师评点你的作文吗？请订阅BEC写作类节目：BEC作文辅导

本期BEC名师：昂立BEC项目部主任张梦琳老师，担纲商务英语听说、企业团训听说主讲,曾在知名企业担纲首席口译。从事听说教学十年之久，最乐意与同学分享职场经历，她的教学理念是：Enjoy learning English in the rest of your life!

本期作文题目

You need to inform your marketing team about a radio advertising campaign for one of your company's new products.

Write an email to your team:

* reminding tehm which new product it is
* explaining why you've chosen to advertise on radio
* saying what you expect the advertising campaign to achieve.

Write 40-50 words.

Sample:
It is believed that everyone knows about our new product - TE 128, which will be launch ed recently. We will use radio advertising owing to our budget . I hope that the campaign will cover most of the cusomters we are having now and bring new ones.

网友作文一：

Dear All,
Our new product advertising campain[1] for A02 auto-navigating instrument[2] is coming soon. As you know, radio is the most available for drivers. I believe we will make a gorgeous advertisement suitable for them.

_________________________________________
[1]这个名词结构太长了，另外主体不清楚啊。看清楚题目要求，先remind 大家一下，可以用很多表示提醒的结构。
[2]英文中的"设备"有很多个词，这个词适合乐器，应该搭配musical instrument, 这个地方比较合适用facility 或者 equipment

网友作文二：

To: marketing team
Fr: coco218
Date: Dec. 15th,2008
Subject:a radio advertising campaign for new products
Dear teammate,
A new mobile phone[1] will be the next NEW ARRIVAL.And it will be advertised on radio because of our short of money[2] .I hope our marketing team could make out an attactive advertisement and the sale would hit 20% of the market share[3].
Thanks.
Regards.

_________________________________________
[1]这不对吧，你们公司原来不是做mobile phone 的？改为 new product 比较合适。
[2]Shortage of money
[3]画蛇添足，sale 就是可以冲击新高的，这和market share 有什么关系。

背景补遗：

1.什么是BEC（剑桥商务英语考试）？
2.学习BEC需具备什么样的基础？
3.如果准备考BEC，有哪些书籍参考呢？
4.沪江有相应的BEC学习小组吗？
5.BEC在沪江有哪些节目推荐呢？
6.2009年BEC考试报名日期是多久？
7.报考前我想做做SuperBEC商务口语测试>>