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P: Oh. Where do you think you're going?
M: This is Paul Ignazio's apartment, right? Hi, Ted Jefferson from the evidence recovery team.
P: I don't care if you're Thomas Jefferson. I need I.D.
M: Oh, sorry. I pulled a double-hommy last night.     1      My partner took it to see his girlfriend in Queens.
P:     2     
M: Look,I just need a urine swab from the vic's toilet. If I don't get it soon, it'll spike the cross-reactivity, and then...
P: I got orders, too, pal. No I.D., no pee.
M: Oh, I know.     3     It's easy. All you got to do is swab around the rim of the toilet, then drop the swab into the tube, screw the cap on the tube, and, bam, we're good to go.
P: No way. I'm not doing that.
M: Okay.     4     Yeah, cap. I got a local hero by the name of...
P: Okay, okay, pee boy. Get it yourself.
M: Oh.     5     Never mind.
It's in the van. Not my problem, brother. You can get it. Now it's your problem. It turns out the hero's on our side.