Hints:
Brandy
Anthony
Maggie

She did not dump me. It was a mutual break-up, ok?
Shut up!
1 __________________

Insult her style.
2____________________
Well, fuck you! Asshole!
Great!

Play World of Warcraft.
Let tanks get aggro before you start DPS. What? NO! Don't stand in the fire. Go! OK. Oh God damn it! I need a healer up here.
What're you doing?
Shut the fuck up! I'm raiding.
Wow!

Cheat on her.
Hi, free for dinner?
3________________
Busted.

Do an over texted message.
You wanna break cups with me?
Damn you auto-correct!
iphoned.

Always mention your ex.
4____________________
Shoe noob.

Act like a five-year-old.
5________________
Suicide bonus.

Fake a pregnancy scare.
6_________________
Congratulations.

Never talk to her again.
7______________
Ruined a life.

Fake your own death.
Why?
Because you are a bitch.
Wait. What?
8_____________________
What the hell!
Sloppy seconds.

If all those fails, be honest with her.
9________________________
Stop right there. You are a great guy and have a stable job. Don't break up with her!
I'm sorry. I just don't love her anymore.
Finger bangs.
Have you ever been so completely in love with your girlfriend that you just knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her? Me neither. So I'm gonna tell you how to dump that bitch. How do I look? You look like a cow. No, sorry. I'm busy tonight. Oh, Anthony, I love you so much. I love you too, new girlfriend. Yeah, so super busy tonight. Oh, come over here. Let me give you a blow torch. You like that? Brandy did it better, but whatever. You know I never leaned how to tie a double knot. Alright, I get the jokes. Stop it. Alright, I get the jokes. Stop it. I mean it! I mean it! My name is Anthony. I'm a douche. My name is Anthony. I'm a douche. Oh my God! I can't take this anymore! Copy this, you son of bitch! The condom broke. Wait. We've never had sex. Then explain why I'm pregnant. Anthony, hi. Oh, hey. This is my wife Maggie. Wait. What do you mean wife? I'm still your girlfriend. I thought completely ignoring you made it pretty obvious. I've been waiting for ten years! Dick! Sometimes the dead can send a message from beyond. You have beautiful eyes. I just don't think things are working out. I just think we should break up Yeah. I don't think that's a good idea. Why? My daddy is a cop.