离别Parting Sorrows

郑振铎Zheng Zhenduo

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选一》

别了,我爱的中国,我全心爱着的中国,当我倚在高高的船栏上,见着船渐渐的离岸了,船与岸间的水面渐渐的阔了,见着了许多亲友挥着白巾,挥着帽子,挥着手,说着Adieu, adieu!听着鞭炮劈劈拍拍的响着,水兵们高呼着向岸上的同伴告别时,我的眼眶是润湿了,我自知我的泪点己经滴在眼镜面了,镜面是模糊了,我有一种说不出的感动!
Farewell, China, my beloved homeland! Leaning over the high railing, I watched the ship tearing itself away slowly from the shore, leaving a widening expanse of water in between. Many relatives and friends of mine were waving their hats and white handkerchiefs amidst shouts of "Adieu,adieu!” firecrackers were crackling and spluttering,and sailors shouting goodbye to their buddies on the shore. I was seized with violent emotion, tears welling up in my eyes and blurring my eyeglasses.

要点:
1,题目《离别》译为Parting Sorrows,不仅表示告别,且同时把离愁别绪也作了交代。如译为Parting from homeland或Farewell to China似缺乏内涵。题目的翻译再一次说明文学选词的精准以及兼顾词语的感情色彩~
2,“当我倚在高高的船栏上,见着船渐渐的离岸了,船与岸间的水面渐渐的阔了”多动词句~主要动词是“看”,所以lean处理为非谓语(伴随状语)~译为Leaning over the high railing, I watched the ship tearing itself away slowly from the shore, leaving a widening expanse of water in between.
3,“离开”译为tear away(有撕开,勉强离开之意), 其中tear itself away也可用moving away表达,但缺乏惜别的感情色彩。
4,“看见船渐渐离岸”和“船与岸间的水面渐渐的阔了”注意这里的两个“渐渐”都以进行时态表现了出来,这是翻译中常见的手法
5,amidst意为”在…之中“,可以用来表示两个同时进行的动作,如:He and Jacqueline rode into the city amidst unending cries of " Viva Kennedy" and a pink snowstorm of confetti.
他和杰奎琳在无休止的“肯尼迪万岁”的呼声和向他们掷来的一阵阵粉红色的纸屑中驱车进入市区。
6,well up是表示“眼眶湿润,热泪盈眶“的“专业人士“,如:And he looked at me, and I smiled, and then I saw the tears start welling up in his eyes.(他看着我,然后我微笑,然后我看到他眼中开始盈满泪水。)

综述:本段知识点几乎都是散文翻译中常见常用的~拿起笔来

船慢慢的向前驶着,沿途见了停着的好几只灰色的白色的军舰。不,那不是悬着我们国旗的,它们的旗帜是“红日",是“蓝白红",是“红蓝条交叉着”的联合旗,是有“星点红条”的旗!
While the ship was steering ahead slowly, I saw on the way many warships in gray or white lying at anchor and fly flags other than our national ones. They were flying the red sun, the tricolour, the union jack or the stars and stripes.

要点:1,译文:I saw on the way many warships in gray or white lying at anchor and fly flags other than our national ones.是将第一句的后半句“沿途见了停着的好几只灰色的白色的军舰”和第二句的前半句“不,那不是悬着我们国旗的”合在一起翻译的结果,体现了强烈的对比
2,“红日”指日本国旗,译为the red sun,后面未加flag,是为了配合造句。否则也可译为the sun flag或the rising-sun flag。
“蓝白红”指法国国旗,英语中常以the tricolour:来表达。
“‘红蓝条交叉着’的联合旗”指英国国旗,英语中以the union jack或the union flag表达。
“‘星点红条’的旗“即美国国旗,英语中称之为the stars and stripes .
以上原文中以旗帜上的图案来代指国家,直译并不影响理解,因此翻译时宜根据原文来翻译,还能保留原作风格~
3,fly后加flag表示可表“悬挂“,如果flag在前,则表示”飘扬“,如:After the invasion, people were forbidden to fly their national flag.(沦陷后,民众被禁止悬挂他们的国旗)

综述:在翻译各国旗帜时,如直接译为国名,原文神韵将全无

两岸是黄土和青草,再过去是两条的青痕,再过去是地平线上的几座小岛山,海水满盈盈的照在夕阳之下,浪涛如顽皮的小童似的踊跃不定。水面上现出一片的金光。别了,我爱的中国,我全心爱着的中国!
The banks with their yellowish soil and green grass receded into two greenish strips until they became some mere islets on the horizon. The waters of the sea glistened under the setting sun and kept leaping like romping urchins. The water surface was a vast expanse of gold. Farwell, China, my beloved homeland!

要点:
1,“两岸是黄土和青草,再过去是两条的青痕,再过去是地平线上的几座小岛山“译为The banks with their yellowish soil and green grass receded into two greenish strips until they became some mere islets on the horizon.本句意为”满是黄土和青草的两岸变为青痕,到最后他们变成了几座小岛山“其中”再过去“可理解为”由前一个事物逐渐褪变为另一个“
2,beloved意为“亲爱的,钟爱的,挚爱的“或”心爱之人“如:You know, beloved, as the whole world knows, how much I have lost in you.(我爱,你一定知道,正如全世界都知道的一样,你于我是多么重要。)
男童鞋们学起来!!!

综述:像这种有些“啰嗦”的语句,注意精简语言,不要扣字

我不忍离了中国而去,更不忍在这大时代中放弃每人应做的工作而去(9),抛弃了许多亲爱的勇士在后面,他们是正用他们的血建造着新的中国,正在以纯挚的热诚,争斗着,奋击着。我这样不负责任的离开了中国,我真是一个罪人!
I cannot find it in my heart to leave China, much less during these stormy times when I have to abandon my bounden duty and leave behind so many dear brave fighters一men who are building a new China with their own blood and struggling and battling in all earnest. To quit China at this moment means to dodge my responsibility and that makes me feel very guilty indeed!

要点:
1,“我不忍离了中国而去”译为I cannot find it in my heart to leave Chins,其中to find it in one's heart to do…是成语,作“忍心做……”、“意欲……”解。此句也可译为I cannot bear to leave China .相较于want更有感情色彩
2, “更不忍在这大时代中放弃每人应做的工作而去”译为much less during these stormy times when I have to abandon my bounden duty,much less=still less意为”更不用说“
3, “这大时代”按内涵译为these stormy times未按字面育译为the great times. stormy有“群情激愤的“含义
4,“我真是一个罪人“= that makes me feel very guilty indeed,其中,criminal,guilty 这两个形容词均表示犯罪的之意 criminal:侧重指某种行为是违犯法律的,因而应受到惩罚.His criminal record weighed heavily against him (with the jury).(陪审团)(认为他的前科关系重大.) guilty:主要指某种行为违反道德标准

综述:注意在翻译“不忍”“大时代”时,要根据上下文深刻理解其本质哦~

然而我终将在这大时代中工作着的,我终将为中国而努力,而呈献了我的身,我的心;我别了中国,为的是求更好的经验,求更好的奋斗工具。暂别了,暂别了,在各方面争斗着的勇士们,我不久即将以更勇猛的力量加入你们当中了。
Nevertheless, I shall eventually answer the call of the times and devote myself heart and soul to my motherland. I am parting from China acquire more experience and search for better ways of struggle. Dear brave fighters of every field, I shall be separated from you only for the present and will soon return to join your ranks with redoubled strength.

要点:
1,“我终将在这大时代中工作着的,我终将为中国而努力,而呈献了我的身,我的心“译为I shall eventually answer the call of the times and devote myself heart and soul to my motherland,本句中出现的两个分句结构相同,合二为一~
2,“暂别了,暂别了”译为I shall be separated from you only for the present,其中“暂时的”译为for the present,也可译为for the time being~
3,“更勇猛的”意思是“比原来更强的”此处译为redoubled,意为“双倍的,进一步加强的”,形象贴切~

综述:句式并不难,注意重复的部分即可~

当我归来时,我希望这些悬着“红日”的,“蓝白红”的,有“星点红条”的,“红蓝条交叉着”的一切旗帜的白色灰色的军舰都己不见了,代替它们的是我们的可喜爱的悬着我们的旗帜的伟大的舰队。
On my return, I hope, I shall see no more gray or white warships plying our territorial waters with flags of the red sun, the tricolour, the union jack or the stars and stripes. I hope I shall see instead our lovely great fleet flying our national colours.

如果它们那时还没有退去中国海,还没有为我们所消灭,那末,来,勇士们,我将加入你们的队中,以更勇猛的力量,去压迫它们,去毁灭它们!
Dear brave fighters, if the foreign warships by that time still hang on their presence in our territorial waters, I will join you to do my bit in getting rid of them. That is my pledge!

这是我的誓言!
That is my pledge!

别了,我爱的中国,我全心爱着的中国!
Farewell, China, my beloved homeland!

要点:
1,“白色灰色的军舰都己不见了”译为I shall see no more gray or white warships plying our territorial waters,其中plying(往返于) our territorial waters属于增译,原文没有明确表示,但译出来会使行文更加明确,从这里可以看出,增译也不是异想天开的哦~
2,“如果它们那时还没有退去中国海”译为if the foreign warships by that time still hang on their presence in our territorial waters,其中hang on to意为“抓住不放”“不肯放弃”;presence有“势力”“存在”的含义~

翻译解析:
郑振铎(1898-1958是我国现代作家,学者。他于1927年8月乘船远离祖国,前往法国巴黎和英国伦敦游学,1929年10月归国。《离别》一文写于这一时期,内分三部分,其中第一部分抒发即将去国的志士情环。

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