背影The Sight of Father’s Back

朱自清Zhu Ziqing

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选一》

他嘱我路上小心，夜里要警醒些，不要受凉。又嘱托茶房好好照应我。我心里暗笑他的迂；他们只认得钱，托他们直是白托!而且我这样大年纪的人，难道还不能料理自己吗?唉，我现在想想，那时真是太聪明了!
He told me to be watchful on the way and be careful not to catch cold at night. He also asked the train attendants to take good care of me. I sniggered at father for being so impractical, for it was utterly useless to entrust me to those attendants, who cared for nothing but money. Besides, it was certainly no problem for a person of my age to look after himself. Oh, when I come to think of it, I can see how smarty I was in those days!
要点：

1、 snigger是前面提到的表示“笑“的小词，表”窃笑，暗笑“，小词小词小词~重要事情说三遍！
2、 “迂“在这里译作”不切实际“或”没有见识“解，译为“impractical”
3、 “那时真是太聪明了”也是反语，译为how smarty I was in those days ,smarty和前文的smart aleck 童鞋是一个意思=“自作聪明的人“，文学翻译的语气很重要，所以积累单词时，褒贬意也要多多注意

综述：此段注意“迂”和“聪明”的翻译，前者要深刻理解含义，后者深刻理解其语气~

我说道，“爸爸，你走吧。”他望车外看了看，说，“我买几个橘子去。你就在此地，不要走动。”我看那边月台的栅栏外有几个卖东西的的等着顾客。走到那边月台，须穿过铁道，须跳下去又爬上去。父亲是一个胖子，走过去自然要费些事。我本来要去的，他不肯，只好让他去。我看见他戴着黑布小帽。穿着黑布大马褂，深青布棉袍，蹒跚在走到铁道边，慢慢探身下去，尚不大难。可是他穿过铁道，要爬上那边月台，就不容易了。他用两手攀着上面，两脚再向上缩；他肥胖的身子向左微倾，显出努力的样子。这时我看见他的的背影，我眼泪很快地流下来了。我赶紧拭干了泪，怕他看见，也怕别人看见。我再向外看时，他已抱了朱红的橘子往回走了。
I said, “Dad, you might leave now.” But he looked out of window and said, “I’m going to buy you some tangerines. You just stay here. Don’t move around.” I caught sight of several vendors waiting for customers outside the railings beyond a platform. But to reach that platform would require crossing the railway track and doing some climbing up and down. That would be a strenuous job for father, who was fat. I wanted to do all that myself, but he stopped me, so I could do nothing but let him go. I watched him hobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track. His hands held onto the upper part of the platform, his legs huddled up and his corpulent body tipped slightly towards the left, obviously making an enormous exertion. While I was watching him from behind, tears gushed from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away lest he or others should catch me crying. The next moment when I looked out of the window again, father was already on the way back, holding bright red tangerines in both hands.

要点：
1、 sight在文中出现多次，它本身也是多义词，也是第一次就是在题目上“the sight of”,此外还有”catch sight of(看见)”“go out of sight(在视线内消失)” ”lose sight of(看不到，忘记) “等，是替换see, look的常用词哦
2、 “走到那边月台，须穿过铁道，须跳下去又爬上去。“又是我们熟悉的多动词句，前两个直接顺译下来，”跳下去又爬上去”译为do some climbing up and down,（此处“跳下去”的本质也是“爬下去”）简洁明了，动作感强。
3、 “尚不大难”中的“尚”是“尚且”，有着转折的含义
4、Huddle意为“蜷缩，挤成一团”如The boys huddle together under the rock to keep warm. 男孩们缩成一团在石头底下取暖。Huddle up=”向上缩“
5、“他用两手攀着上面，两脚再向上缩；他肥胖的身子向左微倾，显出努力的样子。“我们主要分析一下，译者对于小词的使用，huddle前面已经说过，用得十分形象。Corpulent 意为”肥胖的，肥大的“，此外还有chubby(丰满的) tubby（矮胖的）,plump（微胖的）,来表示不同程度的”胖“（真的不想提到这个话题好吗(⊙﹏⊙)b），这再一次提醒我们文学翻译对于词汇要求的具体性，不要只记“fat”了！
6、Gush(喷涌) 和wipe（擦拭）~都要记起来，再说一遍，文学翻译的难度之一就是用词的准确性
7、Lest意为“免得，以免”，引导目的状语从句，句中用“should（可省） +动原”如He took his raincoat with him lest it should rain.
他带了雨衣，怕下雨。
同样的，还有for fear that, in case等

综述：本段一定要注意文学翻译中用词的准确性和句式的灵活性

过铁道时，他先将橘子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。到这边时，我赶紧去搀他。他和我走到车上，将橘子一股脑儿放在我的皮大衣上。于是扑扑衣上泥土，心里很轻松似的，过了一会说，“我走了；到那边来信!”我望着他走出去。他走了几步，回过头看见我，说，“进去吧，里边没人。”等他的背影混入来来往往的人里，再找不着了，我便进来坐下，我的眼泪又来了。
In crossing the railway track, he first put the tangerines on the ground, climbed down slowly and then picked them up again. When he came near the train, I hurried out to help him by the hand. After boarding the train with me, he laid all the tangerines on my overcoat, and patting the dirt off his clothes, he looked somewhat relieved and said after a while, “I must be going now. Don’t forget to write me from Beijing!” I gazed after his back retreating out of the carriage. After a few steps, he looked back at me and said, “Go back to your seat. Don’t leave your things alone.” I, however, did not go back to my seat until his figure was lost among crowds of people hurrying to and fro and no longer visible. My eyes were again wet with tears.

要点：
1、“搀”这个动词并不好翻，遇到不会翻的动词，可以选择用描述这个动作的方法来翻译，此处译为help sb by the hand
2、”怕掉身上的土“=pat the dirt off
3、“里面没人”不宜按字面直译，挖掘深层含义=“没有人照看行李“此处采用了leave alone的句式
4、“来来往往的人“=people hurrying to and fro

综述：本段还是有很多用法精确的词，要注意积累。

近几年来，父亲和我都是东奔西走，家中的光景是一日不如一日。他少年出外谋生，独力支持，做了许多大事。那知老境却如此颓唐!他触目伤怀，自然不能自己。情郁于中，自然要发之于外；家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。他待我渐渐不同往日。但最近两年的不见，他终于忘却我的不好，只是惦记着我，惦记着我的儿子。我北来后，他写了一信给我，信中说道，“我身体平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便，大约大去之期不远矣。”我读到此处，在晶莹的泪光中，又看见那肥胖的，青布马褂的背影。唉!我不知何时再能与他相见！
In recent years, both father and I have been living an unsettled life, and the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse. Father left home to seek a livelihood when young and did achieve quite a few things all on his own. To think that he should now be so downcast in old age! The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to find a vent. That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry, and meanwhile he became less and less nice with me. However, the separation of the last two years has made him more forgiving towards me. He keeps thinking about me and my son. After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he says. “I’m all right except for a severe pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing brushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.” Through the glistening tears which these words had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to see him again.

要点：
1、“父亲和我都是东奔西走“之前提到过”东奔西走“可以译为 going here and there,但是此处的意思是”过着不稳定的生活”
2、“一日不如一日，每况愈下”=going from bad to worse
3、” 他少年出外谋生,独立支持，做了许多大事.”可以串进一个句子里，将“独立支持”作为状语，此外，“做了许多大事“可以按”小有成就“来译
4、“颓唐“可译为downcast ,downhearted, dejected.
5、“他触目伤怀，自然不能自己”意即“他看到家庭败落，情不自禁为之悲伤“，译为”The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow“，在这里我们又见到了一个表示”使某人感到…”的句式，即fill sb with a feeling of,
在这里我们可以随手做一个小小的总结：generate in sb a feeling/sensation of ;inspire sb by (使某人振奋)；give sb great pleasure(使某人感到愉悦)
平时多做这样的总结，慢慢水平就会提升
6、pent up意为”压抑的，积压的，难以抒怀的“，其他的小伙伴还有“repressed ,constrained ,restrained, curbed”
7、” 他待我渐渐不同往日“意即“他待我渐渐不如过去（那么好）”
8、”我读到此处，在晶莹的泪光中…”我们看到这个句子第一反应肯定是“when I…”而张爷爷对于此句的处理值得借鉴，调整语序，将”在晶莹的泪光中“译为介词短语放在最前面，既避免了合译之后句子前后不平衡，也避免了分译，使译文句子不至于太过琐碎~看来大师很懂得调和~

综述：有时一些作品里的中文语言太过含蓄，英译时一定要把深层意思表达出来，当然前提是根据已有知识和上下文，不能妄加揣测

声明：本双语文章的中文评析系沪江英语原创内容，转载请注明出处。中文评析仅代表作者个人观点，仅供参考。如有不妥之处，欢迎指正。