你写我改：BEC名师评点网友作文（9）

大家好，这是沪江剑桥商务英语网针对沪江网友在BEC写作中所遇到的棘手问题而新设的一个作文辅导栏目。每期栏目我们都会邀请到BEC名师对沪江论坛BEC版块的网友作文进行评点，为各位同学在BEC的考试准备中助你一臂之力。

想让名师评点你的作文吗？请订阅BEC写作类节目：BEC作文辅导

本期BEC名师：昂立BEC项目部主任张梦琳老师，担纲商务英语听说、企业团训听说主讲,曾在知名企业担纲首席口译。从事听说教学十年之久，最乐意与同学分享职场经历，她的教学理念是：Enjoy learning English in the rest of your life!

本期作文题目：

You are a key account manager for a telecommunications company. You are going to be out of the office for a week.
Write an e-mail of 40-50 words to your client.

*telling them how long you will be away
*explaining where you will be
*suggesting who they can contact while you are away.

Sample:

Dear Mr. Pawlak:

I will be out of the office for ten days from 18th November. I will be attending the Telecommunications Trade Fair in London. While I am away my colleague Marry Richards will be looking after my clients, please contact her with any questions or problems you may have.

>>>> 白领口语提升计划>>>

网友作文一：

To: sarah, abc company
Fr: nono, manager for aa telecommunications company
Date: Nov. 7th,2008
subject: about a week leave for business trip

I'd like to tell you that [1] I will be one-week leave for a business trip in England from Nov. 10th to Nov.15th. If you have any problems, don't hesitate to contact with my assistant julie whose extension number is 555 and she will help you to do the operation.
Thanks for your coorperation[2].

_________________________________________
[1]去掉
[2]去掉。 其他地方很好！