Dear mom, I've been under a lot of stress at work and I come into a windfall of cash. So I decided to take that Mexican vacation I've been planning. Now despite what people say, I had no trouble whatsoever getting across the border. Some nice people were there to greet me when I landed.
What's your name?
Moza.
Manny.
Ruven.
I got some great snap shots and they recommended a reasonable place for me to stay. It wasn't five-star, but some had stolen my cash. So I told them to charge me.
There were lots of fun activities. The different sights, sounds, smells of a new culture. There's a plenty of interaction with the locals. And mom, I think I met someone special. Wow, she was Capricorn. She has a kid.
Cigarette?
No.
I think he was beginning to warm up to me.
Oh, I guess you are special.
I need a spotter. You're off the game?
Wouldn't you know it that something stinks about you.
You are pushing my leg?
I wouldn't push your leg.
Even though you're having a blast.
Where is my money?
Cut a toe off.
We already did that, boss, two of them.
It is not one thing, it's another.
He killed my father.
Problems crop up.
I never know when they come for my son.
Trouble in paradise.
Yeah, well, one that can't let that happen.
If I want my trip to go smooth, I gotta nip this stuff in the bud.
And you're not gonna see me the way like this, I guess.
Well, mom, I can't wait to get back.
Oh, my kidding.
I'm not coming back.
Gringo.
Get the Gringo, available exclusively on DirectV May 1st. 

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