Chapter 05 HESTER AT HER NEEDLE
第五章 海丝特做针线

Except for that small expenditure in the decoration of her infant, Hester bestowed all her superfluous means in charity, on wretches less miserable than herself, and who not infrequently insulted the hand that fed them. Much of the time, which she might readily have applied to the better efforts of her art, she employed in making coarse garments for the poor. It is probable that there was an idea of penance in this mode of occupation, and that she offered up a real sacrifice of enjoyment, in devoting so many hours to such rude handiwork. She had in her nature a rich, voluptuous, Oriental characteristic- a taste for the gorgeously beautiful, which, save in the exquisite productions of her needle, found nothing else, in all the possibilities of her life, to exercise itself upon. Women derive a pleasure, incomprehensible to the other sex, from the delicate toil of the needle. To Hester Prynne it might have been a mode of expressing, and therefore soothing, the passion of her life. Like all other joys, she rejected it as sin. This morbid meddling of conscience with an immaterial matter betokened, it is to be feared, no genuine and steadfast penitence, but something doubtful, something that might be deeply wrong, beneath.
海丝特除去在打扮孩子上稍有花费外,她把全部积蓄都用在了救济他人上面,尽管那些入并不比她更为不幸,而且还时常忘思负义地对她横加侮辱。她时常替穷人制作粗布衣服,而如果她把这些时间用来发挥她的手艺,收入原可以更多的。她做这种活计可能有忏悔的念头,不过,她花这么多时间干粗活,确实牺牲了乐趣。她天生就有一种追求富足和奢华的东方人的秉性——一种喜欢穷奢极欲的情调,但这一点在她的全部生活中,除去在她那精美的针线手士中尚可施展之外,已经别无表现的可能了。女人从一针一线的操劳中所能获得的乐趣,是男人无法理解的。对海丝特·白兰来说,可能只有靠这样一种抒发形式,才能慰藉自己对生活的激情。但即使对这绝无仅有的一点乐趣,她也不例外地象看待其它乐趣一样地视为罪过。把良心和一件无关紧要的事情病态地联系在一起,恐怕并不能说明真心实意的仟悔,其背后可能有些颇值怀疑和极其荒谬的东西。

In this manner, Hester Prynne came to have a part to perform in the world. With her native energy of character, and rare capacity, it could not entirely cast her off, although it had set a mark upon her, more intolerable to a woman's heart than that which branded the brow of Cain. In all her intercourse with society, however, there was nothing that made her feel as if she belonged to it. Every gesture, every word, and even the silence of those with whom she came in contact, implied, and often expressed, that she was banished, and as much alone as if she inhabited another sphere, or communicated with the common nature by other organs and senses than the rest of human kind. She stood apart from moral interests, yet close beside them, like a ghost that revisits the familiar fireside, and can no longer make itself seen or felt; no more smile with the household joy, nor mourn with the kindred sorrow; or, should it succeed in manifesting its forbidden sympathy, awakening only terror and horrible repugnance. These emotions, in fact, and its bitterest scorn besides, seemed to be the sole portion that she retained in the universal heart. It was not an age of delicacy; and her position, although she understood it well, and was in little danger of forgetting it, was often brought before her vivid self-perception, like a new anguish, by the rudest touch upon the tenderest spot. The poor, as we have already said, whom she sought out to be the objects of her bounty, often reviled the hand that was stretched forth to succour them. Dames of elevated rank, likewise, whose doors she entered in the way of her occupation, were accustomed to distil drops of bitterness into her heart; sometimes through that alchemy of quiet malice, by which women can concoct a subtile poison from ordinary trifles; and sometimes, also, by a coarser expression, that fell upon the sufferer's defenceless breast like a rough blow upon an ulcerated wound. Hester had schooled herself long and well; she never responded to these attacks, save by a flush of crimson that rose irrepressibly over her pale cheek, and again subsided into the depths of her bosom. She was patient- a martyr, indeed- but she forbore to pray for her enemies; lest, in spite of her forgiving aspirations, the words of the blessing should stubbornly twist themselves into a curse.
就这样,海丝特·白兰在人世上有了自己的一席之地。由于她生性倔强而且才能出众,虽说人们让她佩戴了一个对女性的心灵来说比烙在该隐①额上的印记还要难堪的标志,部无法彻底摒弃她。然而,她在同社会的一切交往中,却只能有格格不入之感。同她有所接触的那些人的一举一动、一言一行、甚至他们的沉默不语,都在暗示,往往还表明:她是被排除在外的;而她的孤凄的处境似乎证明:她是生活在另一个世界中的,只有靠与众不同的感官来同其余的人类交流。对于人们感兴趣的道德问题,她避之犹恐不及,却又不能不关心,恰似一个幽灵重返故宅,但又无法让家入看见或感到,不能和家中的亲人们共笑同悲;即使得以表现出为人禁止的同情,也只能唤起别人的恐惧与厌恶。事实上,她的这种心情以及随之而来的最辛辣的嘲讽,似乎成了她在世人心目中所保留曲唯一份额了。在那感情还不够细腻的时代,虽然她深知自己的处境,时刻不敢忘怀,但由于人们不时最粗暴地触痛她最嫩弱的地方,使她清晰地自我感觉到一次次新的剧痛。如前所述,她一心一意接济穷苦人,但她伸出的救援之手所得到的回根却是谩骂。同样,她由于职业关系而迈入富室时,上流社会的夫人们却惯于向她心中滴入苦汁;有时她们不动声色地对她施展阴谋,因为女人们最善于利用日常琐事调制微妙的毒剂;有时她们则明目张长胆地攻汗她那毫无防御的心灵,犹如在渍烂的创口上再重重地一击。海丝特长期以来对此泰然处之;她毫无反手之力,只是在苍白的面颊上不禁泛起红潮,然后便潜入内心深处。她事事忍让,确实是一位殉道者,但她不准自己为敌人祈祷——她尽管宽宏大量,却唯恐自己用来祝福的语言会顽强地扭曲成对他们的诅咒。