中译英:
中文作者:梁晓声 标题:《心灵的花园》
本文选自英文报Shanghai Daily 翻译大奖赛 第11期 (07年8月)

参考译文(附评语)

Spiritual Garden

I think everyone, in effect, has a small garden or a flower bed of his own, namely, our inner world. There is a need for human beings to tap into their own intelligence, as is the case with their inner world. What distinguishes between human beings and animals, apart from the various aspects which are universally known, may probably be in that human beings have an inner world. Heart is no more than an important organ whereas the inner world constitutes a landscape, which gradually takes its shape under the continuous influence from the outside world. So great is the importance that everyone attaches to the physical condition of his own heart or those of his closest and dearest ones, that merely a minor disease would enduringly weign on his mind.

评语(Remarks):

译文大部分用词比较准确、恰当,句子结构也较严谨,整个篇章的前后照应、承接处理的较为到位,符合英文的行文表达习惯。从一些译得较出色的句子来看,译者具有相当程度的英语语言素养。下面的句子译得令人拍手称好,"每个人都无比关注自己及至亲至爱之人心脏的健损,以至于稍有微疾便惶惶不可终日。",So great is the importance that everyone attaches to the physical condition of his own heart or those of his closest and dearest ones, that merely a minor disease would enduringly weign on his mind. 这个句子用了倒装结构,但整个句子较上一句要复杂,处理难度要大一些,可译者还是把整个句子处理得叫贴切。在选词用字方面,如"惶惶不可终日enduringly weign on his mind",也非常适当。

但是译文也存在一些瑕疵。如"人的智力需要开发,人的内心世界也是需要开发的。"译为"There is a need for human beings to tap into their own intelligence, as is the case with their inner world."译文把句子的重心放在原文的前半部,其实重心应该在后半部。此句似应译为,"Just as there is a need for human beings to tap into their own intelligence, so is the case with their inner world."

(上海大学 张强副教授)


英译中:

本文选自朱厄特的文章《新生活》The New Life by Sarah Jewett

萨拉•奥恩•朱厄特 (Sarah Orne Jewett, 1849-1909) 生于缅因州南贝里克镇,十几岁时就已开始写作。初期写的短篇,收集在《深港》里(Deephaven, 1877),出版后反应良好,其后又写了一些短篇,几部小说和诗歌,大部写的都是缅因州的生活。一八九六年出版的《针枞之乡》(The Country of the Pointed Firs)是她最著名的作品。

参考译文

但是正如其他许多已经发生过的事情一样,当他们最终结婚后,发现最憧憬的生活变得再实际不过了。他们非但没有分担各自原先的责任---正如那些学生们所说"一半一半",相反却发现生活的重担加倍了。这使得我们那两个结婚的朋友时常觉得沮丧;他们突然发现自己并没有过着天堂般的生活而是仍实实在在地生活在地球上,而且成为了新规则和新约束的奴隶。生活并没有比以前更自由、更幸福,因为他们要去承担新的责任。既然成立了一个新的家庭,那就无论如何也要尽一点家庭的义务。他们深情地回想起订婚的那段时光,曾经如此地渴望拥有彼此而忘掉这个世界,然而现在最深切的感受却是自己仍是这个世界的一份子。

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