"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to 'The Tonight Show With Conan O'Brien.' Thank you. Thank you! I have to admit, I think I've timed this moment perfectly. Think about it. I'm on a last place network, I moved to a state that's bankrupt, and 'The Tonight Show'' is sponsored by General Motors." --Conan O'Brien
女士们,先生们,欢迎收看《柯南·奥布莱恩今晚秀》,谢谢大家,谢谢大家,我不得不承认,我觉得我安排的这个时间太完美了。想想啊,我在一家排名垫底的电视台,我搬到了一个破产的州,这个今晚秀还是通用赞助的。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"Despite opposition from the public, President Obama says he's determined to close the prison at Guantanamo Bay. To make sure Guantanamo Bay closes, Obama said the new warden will be the CEO of General Motors." --Conan O'Brien
尽管遭到公众的反对,奥巴马总统还是说他决定关闭关塔那摩湾的监狱。为了确保关塔那摩被关了,奥巴马说,新的监狱长将由通用的CEO来担任。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"Hey, how about General Motors? Oh, my gosh. It's crazy what's going on. General Motors, bankrupt. Biggest corporation in the world and now they still want money. They still want billions more bailout money. I think I speak for all Americans when I say, 'You want more money? Wait here while I talk to the manager. I'll be right back." --David Letterman
嘿,通用怎么样了?哦,天哪,这简直是疯了。通用,破产了,世界上最大的公司啊,现在他们还想要钱。他们还想要上亿的财政援助。我想我得替所有的美国人说句话,“你们想要更多的钱?我去跟管理层说一下,在这等着,我马上就回来。”

"Did everyone see Brian Williams' special with President Obama that was on? Yeah? Anyway, there's this big NBC News special with Brian Williams, and in the special, President Obama showed Brian Williams what tricks his new puppy, Bo, could do. Isn't that cool? Yeah, in fact, Bo has already learned to sit up and beg for federal bailout money." --Conan O'Brien
你们有人看布莱恩·威廉姆斯和奥巴马总统的特别节目了吗?这个布莱恩·威廉姆斯的特别节目里有个大新闻,在节目里,奥巴马总统给布莱恩·威廉姆斯看他的新宠物波会做的动作,这简直太酷了,是吧,事实上,波已经学会坐正了求着要联邦财政援助了。——柯南·奥布莱恩

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