1. Two boys are talking about the sun and the moon. "Which one of them is more useful?" asked one of them.

两个男孩在谈论太阳和月亮。“它们中哪个更有用？”其中一个问道。

"Of course the moon is. The moon is in the sky when it's dark, but the sun is in the sky in the daytime when nobody needs it."

“当然是月亮。月亮在天黑时挂在天空，但太阳是在白天谁也不需要它时挂在天空。”

2. A lady lost her handbag  in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest boy and returned to her.

一位女士圣诞节购物时丢了钱包。一个诚实的小男孩捡到了钱包，还给了她。

Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm...that's funny. When I lost my purse there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."

她看了看钱包，说：“嗯……真有趣。我丢钱包时，里面有一张20元的钞票。现在却有20张一元的钞票。”

The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."

那个男孩马上回答说：“没错，太太。上次我捡到一位女士的钱包，她没有零钱酬谢。”

3. Two sisters were looking at a book of religious pictures and came across a painting of the Virgin and the baby Jesus.

姐妹俩在看一本宗教画册时，刚好看到一幅圣母玛利亚和圣婴耶稣的图画。

"See there," said the older sister, "that's Jesus, and that's his mother."

姐姐说：“瞧，这是耶稣，这是他的妈妈。”

"Where's his dad?" the younger girl wanted to know.

“他的爸爸在哪里？”妹妹想知道。

Her sister thought for a moment and explained, "Oh, he's taking the picture."

姐姐想了一会儿，解释道：“噢，他正在拍照。”

4. "I'm going to draw a picture of God," a four-year-old girl said to her teacher.

一个4岁的女孩对老师说：“我要画一幅上帝的画像。”

"But nobody knows what God looks like," the teacher said.

老师说：“可谁也不知道上帝长什么模样。”

"They will know when I've finished," came the reply.

“等我画好后，他们就会知道的。“小女孩回答说。

5. Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.

每个星期日，牧师给孩子们讲故事时，都会把他们叫到教堂前面。有一次，为了更好地阐述祈祷的含义，他带来了一部电话。

"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?' he began. The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening, though."

”你们和别人在电话里交谈，看不到电话另一端的人，对吗？”他开口问道。孩子们点头称是。“嗯，和上帝交谈，就像在电话里交谈一样。他在另一端，但你看不到他。不过，他在听。”

Just then, a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"

就在这时，一个小男孩尖着嗓子问道：“他的号码是多少？”

6. Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his mum. "Share them with your sister," she said.

妈妈给了哈里两只苹果，一个小的，一个大的。“跟妹妹分着吃，”她说。

"So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started tucking into the large one.

于是，哈里就把小的给了妹妹，自己狼吞虎咽地吃着那只大的。

"Cor!" said his sister . "If mum had given them to me, I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself."

“啊！”他的妹妹说，“要是妈妈给我两只苹果，我就会把大的给你，小的留给我自己。”

"Well," said Harry. "that's what you've got, so what are you worrying about?"

“噢，”哈里说。“你拿到的不就是小的嘛，所以你还担心什么？”

7. Annie: "Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?"

安妮：“妈妈，你知道我要送给你什么生日礼物吗？”

Mum: "No, dear, what is it?"

妈妈：“宝贝，不知道，是什么东西？”

Annie: "A nice teapot."

安妮：“一只漂亮的茶壶。”

Mum: "But I've got a nice teapot."

妈妈；“可我已经有一只漂亮的茶壶。”

Annie: "No, you haven't. I've just dropped it!"

安妮：“不，你没有。我刚把它掉在地上了！”

8. There was a man who cared more for money than anything else.

有一个人对钱的计较胜过任何其他东西。

One day he sent his son to buy a box of matches, and told the boy he must see that each match in the box was good. Soon the boy came back. The man took out a match and struck it, but it failed to light. He tried several more, but in vain. He got so angry and said, "I told you each match must be good, didn't I ?"

一天，他派儿子去买一盒火柴，并告诉儿子每根火柴都必须是好的。儿子一会儿就回来了。那人掏出火柴，划了一根，没有燃着。他又划了几根，还是无济于事。他非常生气，说道：“我不是告诉你每根火柴都必须是好的吗？”

"Yes, you did," the boy replied. "I tried out all the matches in the box and each match lit."

“是的，你说过，”男孩说道。“我把盒子里所有的火柴都试过了，每一根都能划着。”


  英语幽默600篇

题材丰富、浅显易懂
英汉对照、翻译中肯
      青闰编译
上海交通大学出版社