作者：Summer. 2018-12-17 11:21
Use a question
It’s important to remember that sometimes people will not want to hear advice, or they may require it in a delicate manner rather than being told or ordered. You can do this by making it into a question.
Here are some common phrases to do just that:
May I suggest
A: I am so frustrated with this book I can’t get anywhere near to the end of it and I have to finish it by Wednesday!
B: May I suggest that you set yourself a target and try to read a certain amount of pages per day until you reach your target?
If I may
A: I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m fed up with my boyfriend, he never calls me anymore. He doesn’t care about me.
B: If I may, when was the last time you called him?
A: I’m panicking, I need to get to London on Wednesday to meet up with my friends. They are all driving there but I don’t have a car!
B: Couldn’t you just get a lift with one of them?B.你不能找其中一个有车的朋友搭便车吗？
Would you consider
A: I don’t know what to do. I keep eating and eating but I want to lose weight! The problem is I am always so hungry!
B: Would you consider going to the doctor and getting some medical help?
Wouldn’t it be better
A: I don’t know whether I should take this new job or stay with my current one. It’s a big opportunity for me but it would mean I would need to move house. I don’t know what I want.
B: Wouldn’t it be better if you take some time to see how you feel, rather than make a decision right now?
A: I’m worried, my son hasn’t called me all morning. He went to a party last night and stayed the night. I want to know he is okay.
B: Shouldn’t you give him a few more hours to call you? It’s still early in the morning.
A: I want to improve my fitness but the gym is so expensive! How can I get fit if I don’t have money?
B: Will you just relax? You can go for a run outside any time you want! The best part os that it’s free.
These are very polite ways to give advice and can be used in formal situations as well as informal ones. They might be good ways to approach giving advice to someone that you do not know very well.
They could also be useful for giving advice to someone who doesn’t like to be advised or told what to do. The best part is, if they reject your advice, you can say I was only asking.
Use an order
Using an order can sometimes cut through a problem like a knife through butter. They can make things much simpler rather than asking questions and saying things you don’t really mean. Be careful though, some people might not like being told what to do!
A: What do I do? I want to have more time off work but I know that the money at this job is fantastic.
B: You should think about what is important to you. Life is short!
You have to/don’t have to
A: I might not go out tonight, I’m not ready and I am really tired.
B: You have to go out! We are going to have such a good time!
A: Painting is so dumb, I don’t know why I bother even trying. I suck at it!
B: You don’t have to be the best artist in the world to enjoy painting! Use it to learn!
A: I have a huge exam tomorrow, I don’t know if I have studied enough and I’m worried I might fail!
B: The most important thing is to be focused. You must be focused otherwise you have no chance of succeeding.
A: I should have scored today, I had a really good chance and I messed it up.
B: You mustn’t keep thinking about it! Just say that next time you will score that chance.
You had better
A: Mum, I don’t want to go to school today!
B: You had better get dressed and get in the car right now. You’re not staying home.
You have got to/haven’t got to
A: I don’t know if I want to go to university, I don’t want to leave home and leave my friends.
B: You have got to think of the future! You will make new friends and your other friends will be here waiting for you to visit!
A: I want to go to the party but I am worried that Johnny might be there. I don’t want to see him.
B: Well, even if you do see him, you haven’t got to speak to him! Just go!
Think about it
A: This job would be great pay, but I really like my boss that I have now.
B: Really? Think about it! Think of what you could do with all that extra cash!
You have to
A: Everything is going wrong, I don’t know what to do and I’m just fed up with life.
B: You have to calm down! Things aren’t that bad!
Use an order if you are sure and you should probably reserve orders for friends and family. If you tell someone you don’t know very well what they should do then they may get offended even if you are trying to help!
Sometimes the truth hurts and people don’t want to hear it!