7月在巴黎的街上,行人的衣装,从少女的背心短裤到老妪的厚大衣,四季都有。7月在巴黎,几乎天天都是晴天,有时一连数日碧空无云,入夜后天也不黑下来,只变得深洞洞的暗蓝。巴黎附近无山,城中少见高楼,城北的蒙马特也只是一个矮丘,太阳要到九点半才落到地平线上,更显得昼长夜短,有用不完的下午。不过晴天也会突来霹雳:7月14日法国国庆那天上午,密特朗总统在香热里榭大道主持阅兵盛典,就忽来一阵大雨,淋得总统和军乐队狼狈不堪。电视的观众看得见雨气之中,乐队长的指挥杖竟失手落地,连忙俯身拾起。
In July, Parisians in the open are seen dressed in the clothes of all seasons, ranging from young girls’ vests and short skirt to elderly women’s thick overcoats. In July, Paris has sunny weather almost every day. Sometimes the sky is blue and cloudless for days on end and, when night comes, it never turns pitch dark, but remains a deep blue. There are no mountains in its vicinity and few high-rises in the city proper. Montmartre in the north of the city is a mere hillock. As the sun never sinks below the horizon until 9:30 pm, the days seem even longer and the nights even shorter. And the afternoons seem to last endlessly. Nevertheless, sometimes a thunderbolt also comes from the clear sky. On the morning of July14, French National Day, when President Mitterrand was presiding over the review of a massive military parade on Champs Elysées, it suddenly started rainning in torrents. The President and the military band, caught in the downpour, found themselves in a very awkward situation. TV viewers even saw the bandmaster bend down quickly to pick up the baton he had dropped onto the ground in a flurry.

要点
1,“7月在巴黎的街上”是典型的中式表达,译者在此只译In July,而将“在巴黎的街上”用下文的Parisians in the open体现出来,既忠实于原文意思,又不拘泥于原文形式。
2,“一连数日”= for days on end,其中on end 意为“连续地”,其同义词还有successively, consecutively ,continuously ,continually ,without end ,running ,on the run,on the trot
3,proper在此意为副词“完全地,彻底地”。
4,in torrents意即“(大雨)倾盆地”。
5,“电视的观众看得见雨气之中,乐队长的指挥杖竟失手落地,连忙俯身拾起。”译为TV viewers even saw the bandmaster bend down quickly to pick up the baton he had dropped onto the ground in a flurry.本段多动词句颇多,一般用我们之前讲的方法都能化解(即“找主要动词为谓语,次重要的译为非谓语或从句,再不重要的译为介词短语”),但这句话中的动词是可以连成一体的,因此译者调整了动词的顺序,译为可以串联起来的动作。

综述:本段需要断句和合译的分句颇多。是练习的好材料

法国北部及中部地势平坦,一望无际,气候却有变化。巴黎北行一小时至卢昂,就觉得冷些;西南行二小时至罗瓦河中流,气候就暖得多,下午竟颇燠热,不过入夜就凉下来,星月异常皎洁。
In Northern and Central France lie boundless level plains with varying climates. Rouen, which is a one-hour ride to the north of Paris, is cooler while the central reaches of the Loire River, which is a two-hour ride to the southwest of Paris, is much warmer. The latter becomes very hot in the afternoon, but cooler at night with the bright moon and stars in the sky.

要点
1,“巴黎北行一小时至卢昂”即“卢昂位于巴黎北部,距巴黎有一小时车程”,译为Rouen, which is a one-hour ride to the north of Paris,而后面的“西南行二小时至罗瓦河中流“也采取了同样的句式。
2,“下午竟颇燠热,不过入夜就凉下来,星月异常皎洁。“译为The latter becomes very hot in the afternoon, but cooler at night with the bright moon and stars in the sky.用 the latter化简句子的长度,也是值得借鉴的,我们在《朋友》中也见到过。

综述:注意本段”向(东西南北)行+时间+至某地“的表述。

再往南行入西班牙,气候就变得干暖。马德里在高台地的中央,七月的午间并不闷热,入夜甚至得穿毛衣。我在南部安达露西亚地区及阳光海岸(Costa del Sol)开车,一路又干又热,枯黄的草原,干燥的石堆,大地像一块烙饼,摊在酷蓝的天穹之下,路旁的草丛常因干燥而起火,势颇惊人。可是那是干热,并不令人出汗,和台湾的湿闷不同。
Down in Spain, the climate is arid and warm. Madrid is located in the center of plateau. Its noontime temperature in July is not sultry, and you have to wear a woolen sweater towards the evening. In Southern Spain, when driving in the Andalucia region and along the Costa del Sol, I found everything dry and hot. The grass was turning yellow and the rocks were dry. The earth was like a pancake roasting under the deep blue firmament. Alarmingly, the roadside grass often started burning by itself. Unlike Taiwan which is humid, Southern Spain is hot and dry and so people there don’t sweat at all.

要点
1,”再往南行入西班牙“即“再往南行驶进入西班牙” Down in Spain,可以看做是是driving down the south, we entered in Spain 的省略形式,in此处是介词代替动词。
2,“摊在…下”意为“在…下烤着…”故译为roasting under。
3,“势颇惊人“即”火势颇为惊人“,通常我们会采用从句的形式,而译者此处用副词更显简洁。

英国则趋于另一极端,显得阴湿,气温也低。我在伦敦的河堤区住了三天,一直是阴天,下着间歇的毛毛雨。即使破晓时露一下朝暾,早餐后天色就阴沉下来了。与我存走过滑铁卢桥,7月的河风吹来,水气阴阴,令人打一个寒噤,把毛的翻领拉起。
England is at the other extreme, being overcast and wet with a low temperature. It was gloomy all the time and kept drizzling intermittently during the three days when I stayed in the River Embankment area of London. Sometimes the morning sun made its brief appearance at daybreak, but the sky turned overcast soon after breakfast. While crossing Waterloo Bridge with Wocun against the July wind blowing from the River Thames, a nip in the air sent shivers down my spine, forcing me to turn up my fur collar.

要点
1,“下着间歇的毛毛雨“= kept drizzling intermittently
2,“我在伦敦的河堤区住了三天“很容易让人联想到使用spend on,然而根据上下文我们发现,这个分句并不是主句,而是一个状语即”我在…住了三天,那时/那几天…“,因此译为during the three days when I stayed in the River Embankment area of London.
3,“与我存走过滑铁卢桥,7月的河风吹来,水气阴阴,令人打一个寒噤,把毛的翻领拉起.“即”我和…过桥时,顶着7月的河风,带着寒气的空气使我寒颤,迫使我立起了我的毛领“合译时注意分析各个分句间主语的关系,”我“和”河风“是”我顶着河风走“的关系,against依旧是一个可以代替动词的介词

综述:注意本段的合译。找关系找关系。

我们开车北行,一路上经过塔尖如梦的牛津,城楼似幻的勒德洛(Ludlow),古桥野渡的蔡斯特(Chester),雨云始终罩在车顶,雨点在车窗上也未干过。进入步布瑞亚的湖区之后,遍地江湖,满空云雨,偶见天边绽出一角薄蓝,立刻便有更多的灰云挟雨遮掩过来。真要怪华兹华斯的诗魂小气,不肯让我一窥他诗中的晴美湖光。在我一夕投宿的鹰头(Hawkshead)小店栈楼窗望出去,沿湖一带,树树含雨,山山带云,很想告诉格拉斯米教堂墓地里的诗翁,我国古代有一片云梦大泽,也出过一位水气逼人的诗宗。
We drove up north through Oxford with its dreamy spires, Ludlow with its illusory old castles and Chester with its ancient bridge and solitary ferry crossing. Rain clouds continued to hang over our car and raindrops remained intact on its windows. After entering the Lake District, Cumbria, we found rivers and lakes everywhere and the sky full of rain clouds. Occasionally a speck of light blue would appear over the horizon only to be soon blotted out by dark grey rain clouds. I could not help complaining against Wordworth for grudging me a sunny scene of the beautiful Lakeland as described in his poems. In Hawkshead, I put up for one night at a small inn. Looking out of its window, I saw all trees around the lakes wet with rain and all mountains shrouded by clouds. How I longed to tell the great poet lying in Grasmere Churchyard that in ancient China there was also a great poet domiciled in a region of rivers and lakes!

要点
1, 本段中的“向北行驶”译为drove up north,up north即“到北部”。
2, 塔尖如梦的牛津= Oxford with its dreamy spires
城楼似幻的勒德洛= Ludlow with its illusory old castles
古桥野渡的蔡斯特= Chester with its ancient bridge and solitary ferry crossing
这几句皆可理解为“某地有着…”句式一致,语言优美。
3,“真要怪华兹华斯的诗魂小气,不肯让我一窥他诗中的晴美湖光”译为I could not help complaining against Wordworth for grudging me a sunny scene of the beautiful Lakeland as described in his poems.其中grudge意即“勉强做;不情愿地给;吝惜”。
4,“树树含雨,山山带云”即“所有的树都被雨打湿而所有的山都笼罩在云里”= all trees around the lakes wet with rain and all mountains shrouded by clouds
5,“云梦大泽”即“云梦泽” ,是中国湖北省江汉平原上的古代湖泊群的总称,在此泛指湖泊河流,译为in a region of rivers and lakes!
6,“水气逼人”根据上下文理解为“伟大的”,译为great。

综述:本文作为一片写景散文文笔优美,翻译有一定难度,除了注意松散句的合译以外,本篇的选词也值得注意。很多表达都是值得积累的。

声明:本双语文章的中文评析系沪江英语原创内容,转载请注明出处。中文评析仅代表作者个人观点,如有不妥之处,欢迎指正。