These days, you have to watch your back.Danger may be lurking where you least expect it.
最近危机四伏 你可得小心

You may find a relative, friend or neighbor coming after one thing - your brain!
亲戚、朋友、邻居也许会争先恐后扑向你——咬你脑袋

This Halloween is forecasted to be a high season for zombie attacks
万圣节是僵尸肆虐的节日

This is Zombies in Plain English.
僵尸攻略

The first step is identifying a zombie.
先学习辨认僵尸

Let’s take your uncle Dan. Here is Dan as we all know him - a normal guy.
以段大叔为例,这是正常的段大叔

Now let’s look at Dan as a zombie.
变成僵尸的大叔是什么模样呢?

Notice the unnatural mouth position and dark eyes... the shoulders will be off-kilter, arms, reaching, grabbing. Legs, limpy- skin, pale. This is a zombie.
驼背、步履蹒跚、张牙舞爪、肤色惨白、烂嘴巴、黑眼圈

Be careful this Halloween - you may see people that resemble zombies.
万圣节你要仔细辨认哦 有些人打扮得像僵尸

Remember, zombies don’t eat candy - only brains.
真僵尸不吃糖 只吃人脑

You may also see them dancing with Michael Jackson
跟迈克•杰克逊一起跳舞的也不是僵尸

these are actors. Zombies don’t dance!
他们是演员 做僵尸没心情跳舞

When you encounter a real zombie, it’s time to have a plan. Here’s how to survive an attack.
做好准备 遇到真僵尸才不怕 下面教你对付僵尸

Your first reaction may be to retreat to a home or business.
多数人躲在家里或办公楼里

This is only a short term solution because they will never stop - ever.
这些地方不宜久留 因为僵尸会穷追猛打

Instead, consider heading to a CostCo. Don’t plan to wait out an attack without proper rations.
最好躲进大型超市 那里不愁吃喝

Now keep your cool - remember that zombies may move quickly in the early stages of infection
保持冷静 别以为僵尸动作慢

Don’t underestimate their speed.
感染初期 它们身手也很敏捷

Also, consider a retreat to high altitudes...
不妨躲到山上

studies have shown that zombies react poorly to cold weather, causing them to become brittle and slow.
研究表明 僵尸在低温下行动迟缓 肢体易断裂

Lastly, zombies can’t swim, so a retreat via boat can help. And remember those rations.
僵尸不能游泳 乘船也比较靠谱。别忘了带上口粮。

If you’re not the retreating type, the obvious next move is counter-attack.
如果自觉孔武有力 还可以反击

This brings us to our last step - how to kill the UNdead.
最后教你干掉这些活死人

The simple idea is... kill the brain, stop the zombie.
最简单的办法砸烂脑袋

This is generally done through head trauma or decapitation. But any method that removes the zombie-brain’s ability to direct the undead body will work.
砍掉也行 总之要让它身首异处

As starting points, we suggest large caliber bullets to the head, or decapitation via machete, ax or chainsaw.
建议新手用大口径子弹爆头,大刀、斧头、电锯也挺管用

Now, chainsaws are advanced tools that should be used carefully.
电锯虽然给力 使用要小心

Napalm or grenades can also be effective, but be carefull!
燃烧弹和手榴弹效果也很好 但要注意

A flaming zombie can be even more dangerous than a real one.
烧着没有死透的通僵尸更可怕

If your friend has a zombie bite, unfortunately there is only one outcome. Infection is absolutely irreversible.
万一朋友被僵尸咬了 千万别救他

Don’t bother with antiseptic or band-aids. Your friend is not your friend anymore.
没得救 他已经不是你朋友了

Face the inevitable and save your brain. Kill them with dignity before they become undead too.
趁还没变身 赶紧干掉他

Remember: Be prepared. Plan your route and rations, be on the lookout, and when they...
记住:找好藏身点,备足口粮,时刻警惕...

Whoa - this just in! We’ve receive an unconfirmed report that zombies have been sighted in southern British Columbia.
刚收到消息 北面发现僵尸

They may be heading south. Repeat. Heading South.
它们正朝南进发 重复一遍 朝南

Sachi? What the?
亲爱的,你怎么啦?

Did you hear that? Uhhh, uuuuuh.
那是什么? 啊...

The question is: Are you prepared?
你准备好了么?

Have a fun, safe and zombie-free Halloween from your friends at Common Craft.
《原来如此》节目祝您渡过一个安全无毒无害的万圣节

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