In a 2017 CareerBuilder survey, 41 percent of workers ’ fessed up to dating a co-worker, and 30 percent of those relationships led to marriage. Regardless of how common it is, asking your work crush out on a date requires a lot of tact, especially with all the workplace sexual harassment scandals that have unfolded over the last year.
“凯业必达”调查公司公布的2017调查显示，有41%的上班族曾经爽快地答应过同事的约会请求，而他们其中有30%的人最终走进了婚姻的殿堂。不过，不管这是多么常见的现象，想要请求你心仪的同事约会还需具备丰富的社交手段，特别在应对那些没有曝光的职场性骚扰的丑闻的时候。

How do you go about it without being a creep? Below, human resources and dating experts share six things to keep in mind before asking someone out at work.
那怎么做才不会让自己看起来像一个怪咖？下面我们的人力资源及约会专家给大家分享六个小贴士，请谨记在心，在约会同事外出的时候就可以用得上了。

1. Check what HR policies are in place.
1. 适时核查公司的人事政策。

Your workplace is just that: a workplace, not a bar or a dating app for download. None of the HR experts we spoke to encouraged actively looking for love at the office, but they acknowledged it happens. And while it’s less common for businesses to enforce or even have a non-fraternization policy, it’s still important to determine if your company has one, said Teresa Marzolph, founder of Culture Engineered, a human capital consulting firm in Phoenix.
你所在的职场就是这样的了：是工作的地方，而不是酒吧或一个可供下载的约会应用软件。我们约谈过的HR专家都不鼓励员工在办公室找另一半，不过他们也不否认有这种事情发生。虽然对于工商企业来说一般不会实施甚至运行一套不亲民的政策，但你也很有必要去确定公司是否有这样的政策。Teresa Marzolph说道。Teresa是Culture Engineered的创始人，而这所公司是美国菲尼克斯州的一家人力资源咨询事务所。

“The few policies still in existence often focus on relationships that put the company at risk, such as a romantic relationship between a manager and their employee, or one that runs contrary to the checks and balances that exist within the company ― like quality assurance and customer service or finance and sales,” Marzolph told HuffPost.
“很少有现存的政策会关注那些容易让公司陷入危机的人际关系，比如管理者与他们的员工之间的情人关系，或者是违背公司部门之间相互制衡的关系——例如品质保证与客户服务或者是财务与销售，”Marzolph在接受赫芬顿网站访问的时候说道。

If no guidelines exist, Marzolph recommends gauging the workplace culture around you: Have you heard of other office relationships developing in the past? Does the company encourage after-hours camaraderie among the staff?
如果没有现存的公司指引，Marzolph则建议员工去评估所处的职场文化：你是否曾经听说过其他的办公室恋情？公司是否鼓励员工之间建立下班后的友情？

“A company that sponsors or hosts non-work events and activities may be an example of a culture that’s much more tolerant or even supportive of relationships in the workplace,” Marzolph said.
“如果一家公司赞助或主办工作以外的活动，也许这就能证明这家公司的公司文化更能包容甚至支持办公室恋情。”Marzolph说道。

2. Be friends first.
2. 先从朋友开始。

Avoid going from zero to 100 by establishing a friendship first, said Lynn Taylor, a workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior & Thrive in Your Job. This way, you’ll find out early on whether you have anything in common besides mutual disgust of your boss’ Tupperware lunches.
要避免从零到一百的长远路程，那就先从朋友开始吧，Lynn Taylor表示。她是一位职场专家，也是《驯服可怕的办公室暴君：如何对付孩子气的老板行为，蓄力发展》的作者。这样做的话，你很快就能发现，你们之间除了讨厌老板的便利店午餐之外，还有哪些相似之处。

“Establish a foundation and find out if you’re compatible, personality-wise,” Taylor said. “Then, take cues. Gauge your next actions off the responses you generally receive from the person.”
“打好基础，看看你们能否友好相处，个性相似。”Taylor说道。“然后，寻找线索。基于你从对方的反应所得到的信息，评估下一步行动。”

3. Suggest getting coffee.
3. 咖啡之约。

Take some of the stress out of the situation by suggesting a casual location for your date, said Neely Steinberg, a dating coach and image consultant.
在一个休闲场所约会，可以减少一些压力，Neely Steinberg表示，她是一位约会教练及形象顾问。

“Coffee is usually a good suggestion because it’s low key and really, who doesn’t like coffee?” Steinberg said. “Plus, it may be perceived as a friend thing as opposed to an actual ‘date.’ If you’re not getting a good romantic vibe, you can always just chalk it up to a friendly co-worker coffee.”
“去喝杯咖啡通常都是很不错的建议，因为喝咖啡是很低调的，并且谁不喜欢咖啡呢？”Steinberg说道。“再者，这个举措可能会被视为朋友之间的活动而不是一次真正意义上的‘约会’。如果你们没有衍生浪漫的氛围，你还是可以把这视为一次友好的同事咖啡之约。”

4. When you do ask, don’t make it weird.
4. 如果你真的要提出来了，不要让它看起来很别扭。

In the past 12 years Marzolph has worked in human resources, sexual harassment complaints have almost always been about how someone went about asking, not the fact that they had asked.
在过去的12年，Marzolph都在人力资源这一行里工作，而性骚扰的投诉常常都发生在某个人询问对方的方式，而不是他们询问的事实。

“The common theme is that the interaction left one person feeling uncomfortable,” she told us. “Whether intended or not, most filing a claim or complaint describe the pursuing employee’s approach as awkward or inappropriate.”
“常见的问题就在于两个人之间的互动会让其中一个人感到不适，”她表示。“不管你是故意的还是不是故意的，大多数人提出索赔或投诉都表示追求者的方式是令人尴尬或不合适的。”

To avoid becoming an office-wide pariah, be mindful of your surroundings and your body language when floating the idea of a date, Marzolph said.
为了避免当一个全公司都知道的过街老鼠，在你表达自己的约会请求的时候，请细心留意你所在的环境和你的肢体语言，Marzolph表示。

“Don’t come on too strong or corner the person, and ideally, approach them outside of work or in the communal area,” Marzolph said. “Try to keep your approach light; be ready to give the person an easy out if they’re not interested, so you both can continue working together without tension.”
“不要表现得太强势，也不要拦住对方，理想情况下应该在工作或通勤区以外的地方接近他们，”Marzolph建议。“请记得方法要轻巧，因为如果对方不感兴趣的话，你要准备一个下台阶，这样做的话你们都能够继续一起工作也不会感到压力。”

5. If they say ‘no,’ maintain professionalism throughout the experience.
5. 如果对方说“不”，也要在这次经历中保持专业的态度。

Don’t take it personally if your crush is just not that into you, Taylor said.
Taylor表示，如果你的梦中情人对你不感兴趣，你也不要针对对方。

“If the person declines, remember that this is a risky proposition,” she explained. “Your co-worker might have otherwise said ‘yes’ if you hadn’t met at work. Many are averse to dating co-workers as a personal policy.”
“如果对方拒绝了你，请记住这是一次冒险的请求。”她解释道。“你的员工也有可能说‘好’，如果你们是在工作以外的地方相遇。但是很多人都会出于个人原则拒绝与同事约会。”

6. If they say ‘yes,’ still maintain professionalism throughout the experience.
6. 如果对方说“好”，你也要在这次经历中继续保持专业的态度。

From the beginning, recognize that this is an imperfect dating situation. Asking a colleague out isn’t simply about two people getting together ― it almost always complicates the workplace dynamic, said S. Chris Edmonds, a human resources expert and founder of The Purposeful Culture Group.
从一开始，你就要意识到这是一个不完美的约会情境。请求同事约会不仅仅是两个人在一起的事情——还总会加大职场的波动，Chris Edmonds表示。Edmonds是人力资源专家也是The Purposeful Culture Group的创始人。

“Luckily, some work relationships work out great,” Edmonds said. “I met the woman who became my wife at work and we’ve been married 38 years now. You just need to be diligent in keeping work separate from your outside relationship. PDA or arguing at work will only increase tension and discomfort by other team members and observers.”
“幸运的是，有的办公室恋情确实可以修成正果。”Edmonds表示。“我在工作中遇到了一个女人，她成为了我的妻子，现在我们在一起已经38年了。你们只需要努力地把工作从你们的关系中脱离开来。秀恩爱或者在工作的时候吵架只会加重其他团队成员或旁观者的紧张感和不安。”

Whatever happens, Edmonds recommends keeping your personal policy on interoffice romances as simple as possible.
不管发生了什么事情，Edmonds建议把你的关于办公室恋情的个人原则保持得越简单越好。

“The overarching policy everyone in the office should embrace is ‘don’t taint the workplace,’” he said.
“每个人都应该遵守的总的原则就在于‘不要污染了工作场所’。”他建议。

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