别了,贺年片
Goodbye to New Year Cards!

柯灵
Ke Ling

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选二》

我出生于1909年元月,混迹人间,荏苒八十八年。去秋一病,病后颓唐,至今没有恢复到原来的健康水平。长寿非福之感,不觉油然而生。
I was born in January 1909. Time slipped by and I’ve been muddling along in this world for eighty-eight years. My illness in the autumn of last year left me in poor shape and so far I’ve not yet restored my former state of health. I cannot help feeling that longevity doesn’t necessarily mean happiness.

要点
1,译者将题目译作Goodbye to New Year Cards,(goodbye to 意即“不再需要”“坚决放弃”),我们也可以单纯译为Goodbye,New Year Cards,将New Years Cards 拟人化,达到一个生动形象的效果
2,“混迹人间”即“平庸地活在世上”或者“苟且生活”译为muddling along in this world, “荏苒”意即“时间在不知不觉中渐渐过去” ,整句话意为“我在这个世上平庸地生活了18年”注意时态要用完成进行时,表示今后还将持续下去之意。
3,“颓唐”有两个意思:①精神萎靡的样子:他的神态显得憔悴而~。②衰颓败落:老境~。根据上下文,应按第一种意思理解,译者此处笼统译为“状况不佳”也是可以的,in poor shape意即“身体不佳,处于不良状态”
4,“健康水平”中的“水平”表示的是一种状态,不宜译为level,现译作my former state of health
5,“长寿非福之感,不觉油然而生。”即“我不由得感觉到长寿并不是一件幸福的事情”译作I cannot help feeling that longevity doesn’t necessarily mean happiness.

综述:又到了柯老的文章,还记得《巷》吗?含蓄真挚,语言优美洗练,偏文学化,因此翻译尤其注意选词

退离工作岗位,淡出社会活动,倏忽十有余年。自喜晚景静好,无虑饥寒,还赶上了百年难遇的太平岁月。虽然许多现象不免使人牵愁惹恨,总算免了提心吊胆,唯恐什么时候会来一阵防不胜防的人造风暴。
More than ten years has quickly passed away since I retired and began to stay away from public activities. I congratulate myself, however, on spending my declining years in peace and comfort, free from hunger and cold, and on happening to live in time of peace and tranquility, which is hard to come by even once in a century. Though I still cannot help feeling concerned about many aspects of the status quo, I am, nevertheless, spared from having to live in constant fear of being overtaken unawares by an unpredictable man-made storm.

要点
1,“倏忽”也有两个意思:①飞快地②忽然,此处是形容时间流逝飞快,译作quickly即可
2,“淡出“即”远离“译作stay away from
3,“自喜晚景静好”译作I congratulate myself on spending my declining years in peace and comfort,其中“自喜”译为I congratulate myself更加确切,“晚景”除my declining years外,old age 或 my remaining years 等表达
4,“还赶上了百年难遇的太平岁月”译为happen to live in time of peace and tranquility, which is hard to come by even once in a century,其中“赶上了“有”碰巧生活在…“之意,因此译作happen to live in

综述
本段的四字词居多,注意积累,译者在译“无虑饥寒“和”免了提心吊胆“时分别用了free from和 spare from体现了用词的灵活性~

坐食之余,积习难除,不免干些灾梨祸枣的闲人之业。这本来也是消磨余年的一法,犹如老农冬闲,负喧闲话,乐在其中。但现在也渐感到后难为继。
In my retirement, I keep the old habit of wielding my clumsy pen. I regard it as one way of whiling away my remaining years, and also find pleasure in it, similar to an old farmer enjoying a chat while taking the sun during the slack winter season. But now I feel I’m not quite up to even this because of age.

要点
1,“坐食”本意为“不劳而食”,文中“坐食之余”译为“退休后”,故译为in my retirement或As a retiree
2,“积习难除”即“仍然保留着旧的习惯”译作I keep the old habit ,“灾梨祸枣”中的“梨枣”为书版代称,“干些灾梨祸枣的闲人之业” 即“拿起笨拙的笔”,译为of wielding my clumsy pen
3,“犹如”译similar to…
4,“负暄”意为“晒太阳取暖”,故将“负暄谈话”译为enjoying a chat while taking the sun

综述:理解而后译~

矛盾的焦点,在于来日苦短,精神体力日见不济,世故困人,而又不能抽刀断水,毅然割弃文字因缘,顾此失彼,难以周全。在人际关系中,久已无力做到有信必复,有求必应,一面又不能释然于怀,洒脱得无牵无挂。岁尾年头,向亲朋好友发个贺年卡片,兼代通侯,原是一件使人感到温暖和愉快的事,也渐觉力不从心。
The main problem is that my days are numbered and I’m going from bad to worse both physically and mentally. While busy attending to social relations, I’m meanwhile loath to cut off my devotion to writing. But I find it difficult to take care of both at the same time. As to interpersonal correspondence, I’ve long been unable to write letters in reply though it doesn't mean I’ve clean forgotten the sender or I don’t feel apologetic for my silence. It certainly gives rise to a feeling of warmth and pleasure to send new year cards to relatives or friends at the end or beginning of a year, which not only offer messages of greetings but also serve as a substitute for correspondence. But much as I want to, it is now beyond my power to keep doing it.

要点
1,“来日苦短”即“日子有限”译作my days are numbered;“日见不济” =going from bad to worse
2,“世故困人,而又不能抽刀断水,毅然割弃文字因缘”译为While busy attending to social relations, I’m meanwhile loath to cut off my devotion to writing,其中“世故“即“应酬”,“ 而又不能抽刀断水”和“毅然割弃文字因缘”表达一个意思即“不能放弃对写作的执着或热爱”故译为I’m meanwhile loath to cut off my devotion to writing
3,“一面又不能释然于怀,洒脱得无牵无挂”即“但仍然惦记着对方,赶到歉疚”,译为it doesn't mean I’ve clean forgotten the sender or I don’t feel apologetic for my silence. 译者运用双重否定表肯定,增强了行文语气。don’t feel apologetic for意即“对…丝毫不感到抱歉”,这个句式将“释然于怀”表现得淋漓尽致
4,“也渐觉力不从心”译为But much as I want to, it is now beyond my power to keep doing it. 其中But much as I want to,是增译部分,强调此处转折的语气~

因为一来一往,为数可观,操作需时,不免手忙脚乱。暮年行动不便,购卡,投邮,又须求人代劳。市上行销的时髦贺卡,多是金碧辉煌的豪华版,代价不菲,姑置不论,流行歌曲式的新潮贺词,也很不合老人身份。诸多烦扰,不一而足。曾经几次想自己设计,印制一些朴素大方,既能表情达意,又堪供清赏的贺卡,也难以实现。不得已狠一狠心,向贺年卡挥手告别,从此不再寄发,也不再裁答。失礼之,只好请多多体谅了。
The exchange of a considerable number of such cards will take up much of my time and send me bustling around. Having difficulty getting about because of age, I have to ask somebody else to buy the cards or mail them out for me. The trendy cards in the market appear mostly in glittering deluxe editions and are very expensive. What is worse, the stylish new year messages printed therein in popular song fashion are incompatible with the status of an old man like me. Due to numerous frustrations, I many times even thought of having cards of my own design printed—cards which would be both simple and unaffected, and both expressive of my true feelings and in good taste, but unfortunately it never materialized. So all I have to do is wave goodbye to new year cards. From now on I no longer send them, either on my own initiative or in reply. Pray forgive me for lack of manners on my part.

要点
1,“为数可观,操作需时,不免手忙脚乱”四字词成句是本文的一大特色,翻译时要将其意思补全译为完整的句子,整合本句的意思为“寄送和接收数量如此大的卡片既耗时又让我忙不过来”,故译为The exchange of a considerable number of such cards will take up much of my time and send me bustling around
2,“从此不再寄发,也不再裁答”意即“不再主动向他人寄贺卡,也不回复他人寄来的贺卡”,故译I no longer send them, either on my own initiative or in reply.注意此处用no longer和 either or句式,也可以表示“不…也不…”

综述:这两段四字词成句的现象依旧“泛滥”体现作者文采的同时,也考验着译者的中文功底~

在大公无私的时间面前,谁也不能不低头认输。一年容易,又是腊尽春回时节,谨布心曲,向海内外旧雨新知,识与不识的读者,表达我的惓惓之意。
Time is impartial and nobody can fail to bow to it and admit defeat. Another year has gone by and spring has returned after winter is over. Let me avail myself of this opportunity to tell what is on my mind and make known my sincere intentions to all my friends at home and abroad, old and new, and to all my readers, acquainted and unacquainted.

要点
1,” 谁也不能不低头认输”中的“谁也不能不”=no body can fail to ,译者遵照原文也使用了双重否定,“低头认输“即 bow to it and admit defeat
2,“ 一年容易“即”一年又过去了“,出自陆游的《宴西楼》” 万里因循成久客,一年容易又秋风“
3,“谨布心曲”即“谈谈我的想法”,译为tell what is on my mind
4,“惓惓之意”即“诚恳的感情”译为my sincere intentions

综述:注意本段双重否定的句式~

声明:本双语文章的中文评析系沪江英语原创内容,转载请注明出处。中文评析仅代表作者个人观点,如有不妥之处,欢迎指正。