阎成席时文翻译小讲堂：画龙点睛翻译技巧(公开课回顾)

【英语】阎成席时文翻译小讲堂：“画龙点睛” 翻译技巧
时间: 4月28日(星期日) 19:30 - 20:30
主讲老师: 阎成席（点击关注老师的沪江部落>>>）
公开课地点: 英语大厅（点击下载CCTalk）

网校名师简介：

视频回顾：

课堂内容提要：

一、翻译技巧“画龙点睛”

阎老师今天为大家带来的特色翻译技巧是“画龙点睛”。龙画好了，缺少了一笔生动传神的眼睛，是不能成为超凡的作品的。今天我们要点的这个睛，不单单是龙自身的眼睛，而是巧夺天工的天外飞仙。

所谓“画龙点睛”，就是在将原味翻译完成之后，巧妙的加入一句总结性的句子。这个句子概括了上文的内容，同时也将译者自己的态度和观点表现出来。这样的处理 方法，不仅让译文更加丰满，而且也充分让译者在翻译中表现自己的主动地位。闫老师一直强调译者不是机械的完成翻译工作的机器，必须是一个鲜活的有个性的 人。今天这招画龙点睛就足以让我们挑出翻译的条条框框。 需要注意的是，这种技巧需要慎用！过多的添加信息会遭致非议，同时甚至会让读者怀疑译者的职业素养。由于其特殊作用，本技巧往往出现在段落的首尾两处，起 到承上启下，开篇明义或者是概括总结的作用。

二、双语示例

打工难圆市民梦，城市只养有钱人
Identity makeover is a castle in the air for most migrant workers

4月11日，人力资源和社会保障部劳动科学研究所课题组历时半年进行的专门调研报告称：过半农民工想当市民，城里房价高成最大困难，约有13.71%的农民工选择“我们根本不属于这里，迟早要回去”。
On April 11, Research Group of MHRSS-ISS releases a survey report which took them half a year’s efforts, which boils down to such a conclusion: the majority of migrant workers dream of being officially labeled as an urban resident, which is greatly defied by the sky-rocketing home prices. Approximately 13.71% migrant workers resolvedly pick out such a helpless option: “There isn’t such a niche in the city for us by a long sight, so we will get back where we are supposed to be sooner or later.”

明眼人都清楚，时下之中国，不仅打破城乡二元制的户籍藩篱难，就是改变一些人的观念也很难。在好多官员心里，只知道企业缺人时想起农民工，但农民工需要的均等公共服务，却压根不想解决；他们两眼只看到农民的地，赶农民上楼，却将农民、特别是农民后代的生存置之脑后。一些城里人对待农民工也是“二元态度”：他们在乐享农民工提供的种种便利舒适的同时，公交车上辱骂甚至驱赶农民工等丑剧不时上演。
It is clear to any person of good sense that nowadays in China it is totally impossible to stride cross the hurdles set by the urban and rural dual household registration system, not to mention the change of the mentality and attitude of most city fellows. As for most officials, only when they are desperately baffled by the temporary shortage of hands for urban enterprises can they think of migrant workers who actually are in dire need of the equal public service, but these officials have never chewed it over for a solution as they are so eager to drive farmers out of the lucrative farm land into the urban area without thinking of a kill-two-bird-stone solution for farmers and their children in coming generations. ...
Actually they treat migrant works just as such a proverb goes, “You can't make your horse work without feeding her.”

由此想来，那些约有13.71%的农民工选择“我们根本不属于这里，迟早要回去”想法的农民工倒是务实的，聪明的。与其将青春奉献给城市后再被抛弃，倒不如趁着年轻在老家创一番事业，凭着自己的能力缩短工作方式、生活方式、价值观念等与城市居民的距离。这虽然难，但却更实际。
So it follows that some 13.71% migrant workers singling out such a choice “we will get back where we are supposed to be” are really cleverly down-to-earth. It is not so much worthy of sacrificing all youth in urban areas in return for a final sober-up as to settle down in the home place for their own business in the prime of youth to cut short the distance between the urban residents in terms of work manner, lifestyle, values, etc. It is a great challenge for them but it is the harsh reality. A warm tip: never kicking down the ladder or killing the goose that laid the golden eggs.

三、重点

1. Actually they treat migrant works just as such a proverb goes, “You can't make your horse work without feeding her.”
在第二段翻译完成之后，阎老师加上了上述一句。这句译文恰恰是汉语俗语“又要马儿跑，又要马儿不吃草”的对应表达。这样一句看似随意的添加，实际上恰恰填补 了第二段缺乏一个总结句的遗憾，两个短句的俗语把第二段的两层含义表达清楚，同时把农民工比喻成没有草吃却要干活的马匹，更是体现了译者对于这种残酷而不 合理的现实状况的不满和忧虑。这种译法不可谓不灵活，不可谓不成功。

通过这个例子，我们也可以看出，在这则技巧的运用时，应该更多的使用成语和俗语等表达方式，一来更凸显文采，二来也更符合点睛之笔的需要。

2. A warm tip: never kicking down the ladder or killing the goose that laid the golden eggs.
无独有偶，在文章的最后一句，阎老师重新运用了这则技巧。这里的译文是汉语过河拆桥和杀鸡取卵的翻译。

与上一个例子相仿，这里不再赘述其中的原由和优点。这里需要提醒一下大家，在运用成语或者俗语时，一定要保证使用的规范和合理，切忌不可生搬硬套或者是使用错误的成语翻译方式。要充分考虑到英文表达习惯和文化需要。

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