1891年,处在写作生涯巅峰期的王尔德遇见了阿尔弗雷德·“波西”·道格拉斯(Alfred "Bosie" Douglas),两人很快成为了同性恋人。四年后,因为这段“不敢说出名字的爱”,王尔德被判“有伤 风化”罪而入狱。在狱中,王尔德开始反思从前的生活,思索痛苦和人生的意义,艺术和爱的真谛,最终将那些痛苦的泪水都化作优 美而深沉的文字,写成了这封名为"de profundis"(从深处)的长信。

作者简介:奥斯卡·王尔德(Oscar Wilde, 1854-1900),英国维多利亚时代著名作家,“唯美主义 运动”的领军人物,倡导“为艺术而艺术”(Art for art's sake)。他的代表作有戏剧《莎乐美》(Salome)《认真的 重要性》(The Importance of Being Earnest),童话《快乐王子》(The Happy Prince) 《夜莺与玫瑰》(The Nightingale and the Rose) ,小说《道连·格雷的画像》(The Picture of Dorian Gray),以及书信《自深深处》(De Profundis)等。

【原著选段】

I remember when I was at Oxford saying to one of my friends that I wanted to eat of the fruit of all the trees in the garden of the world, and that I was going out into the world with that passion in my soul. And so, indeed, I went out, and so I lived. My only mistake was that I confined myself so exclusively to the trees of what seemed to me the sun gilt side of the garden, and shunned the other side for its shadow and its gloom. Failure, disgrace, poverty, sorrow, despair, suffering, tears even, the broken words that come from the lips of pain, remorse that makes one walk in thorns, conscience that condemns, self-abasement that punishes, the misery that puts ashes on its head, the anguish that chooses sackcloth for its raiment and into its own drink puts gall—all these were things of which I was afraid. And as I had determined to know nothing of them, I was forced to taste each one of them in turn, to feed on them, to have for a season, indeed, no other food at all. I don’t regret for a single moment having lived for pleasure. I did it to the full, as one should do everything that one does to the full. There was no pleasure I did not experience. I threw the pearl of my soul into a cup of wine. I went down the primrose path to the sound of flutes. I lived on honeycomb. But to have continued the same life would have been wrong because it would have been limiting. I had to pass on. The other half of the garden had its secrets for me also.

【朱纯深译本】

记得在牛津时同一个朋友说过,说我要尝遍世界这个园子里每棵树结的果,说我要心怀这份激情走出校门踏进世界。的的确确,我是这样地走出校门,这样地生活了。我犯的唯一错误,是把自己局限在那些以为是长在园子向阳一面的树当中, 避开另一边的幽幽暗影。失败、羞辱、穷困、悲哀、绝望、艰难、甚至眼泪、从痛苦的嘴唇断断续续冒出来的话语、令人如行荆丛的悔恨、良心的谴责、最终要受惩罚的自轻自贱、柴灰蒙头的悲愁、披麻布饮苦胆的悲情——这一切都是我所害怕的。正因为决心不过问这些,后来才被迫一样一样轮番将它们尝遍,被迫以它们为食,真的,有几个月别的什么也吃不上。我一点也不后悔曾经为享乐而活过。我尽情活了个痛快,就像人不管什么都要做个痛快。我什么快乐都经历过了。我把灵魂的明珠投进杯中的酒里。我踏着长笛的乐音行在享乐之路上。我过着蜜糖般的日子。但如果继续过着同样的生活就不对了,因为这会限制心性的发展。我只有往前走,园子的另一半同样也有它的秘密留给我。

【读书笔记】

1、这段选文的亮点在于“Failure, disgrace...which I was afraid”一句,其中各种形容人生惨状的词语和表达值得借鉴。

2、confine v.限制,局限;幽禁;监禁
【举例】Please confine your speech to ten minutes. 请把讲话限制在10分钟以内。
Confine your attention to your own affairs. 管好你自己的事。
The dog was confined in a very small cage. 那条狗被关在很小的笼子里。

3、to the full 完全地;充分地;尽情地
【举例】Use your abilities to the full. 尽情发挥你的才能吧。
Unsurprisingly , Wall Street banks are now to exploit these divisions to the full. 不出所料,华尔街各家银行正试图充分利用这种分歧。

4、primrose path 享乐之路;因享乐而使人堕落之路;最易走却最危险的道路
【举例】We can't have you sliding down the primrose path to the everlasting bonfire. 我们不能让你沿着追求享受的堕落之路滑到永劫之火中去。
【相关词汇】
primrose 报春花,引申为“精华,最佳部分”
the primrose of one's life 人生的韶华

《自深深处》读书笔记系列>>

点击进入沪江下载库下载《自深深处》双语版 >>