01.马特·戴蒙和本·阿弗莱特

奥斯卡获奖感言“一要”：即兴发挥很可爱
事先准备好一些小噱头是有必要的，但是字对字地对稿背词儿就显得狠没爱。98年马特·戴蒙和本·阿弗莱克凭借《心灵捕手》获奖时，显然是有备而来，但那些即兴发挥的孩子气的挥拳样儿，就可爱得不得了。



Do allow for spontaneity. It's wise to strategize a few endearing anecdotes, but don't memorize a written speech complete with stage directions such as "Gulp for air here." As Walker points out, "People who recite a speech that's been scripted down to the pauses usually sound horrible. They forget to put in conversational contractions like 'can't' and 'don't.' And their sentences go on forever, always a dead giveaway." Here, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, accepting for their Good Will Hunting screenplay in 1998, demonstrate the value of mixing a little preparation with a lot of irrepressibly boyish fist-pumping.

02.奥黛丽·赫本

奥斯卡获奖感言“二要”：言简意赅
当然上去说“我很激动，谢谢”就完了那也忒简短了。获奖致辞应该“简短、真挚、感人”。下面1954年公主气质的奥黛丽·赫本凭借《罗马假日》赢得最佳女主角的时候的致辞堪称奥斯卡获奖感言精简典范，抑扬顿挫恰到好处“感谢所有人”，加上动人的眼神，简直完美无缺。



Do be brief. While many feel that Joe Pesci (Best Supporting Actor, 1990's Goodfellas) was too terse—"It's been a privilege. Thank you"—Temescu defines a winning Oscar speech as "short, sincere, and eloquent." This 1954 clip of Audrey Hepburn (Best Actress, Roman Holiday) is a master class in brevity, emphasis ("…thank you to EVERYbody…") and eloquent eyelash fluttering.

03.阿德里恩·布洛迪

奥斯卡获奖感言“三要”：感谢母亲大人的时候要哽噎
适当的情到深处难以自禁总是能够打动人。《钢琴师》阿德里恩·布洛迪同颁奖嘉宾哈莉贝瑞一番亲昵后，却用了几近完美的嗓音向母亲致辞。上演这样的令观众动容的获奖桥段需得选对家长，感谢妈妈的时候自然动人，你要感谢父亲大人就不一定有这个效果了。另外也不能过，一路哭哭啼啼也受不了。



Do choke up, ideally while thanking your mother. Molesting Halle Berry was a bit much, but then Adrien Brody (Best Actor, The Pianist) executes a near-perfect voice crack while paying tribute to his mom. "You want emotion," says Walker approvingly, "but you don't want to go overboard. Unhinged can equal 'scary.'" In general, you can't go wrong thanking parents. Heartfelt mom-gratitude, in particular, is guaranteed to make audiences cry, even in tightly wound Tokyo or officially neutral Geneva. A father is more ignorable, unless you can reasonably address him as "Daddy," and you need only thank spouses, says Temescu, "if they're famous."

04.罗素·克劳

奥斯卡获奖感言“四要”：就算是装，也要显得很谦虚
需得既亲切又谦虚，就算你本性并非如此，装也得装出来。罗素·克劳拿影帝的时候，戴着一小撮的领结，然后语重心长地说到自己童年时不可能实现的梦想，引起了很多人的共鸣。最重要的一句话就是“对于所有先天不足，全靠后天的一股子闯劲的人来说，成功并非遥不可及。”而最要紧的一个动作就是最终“并非遥不可及”之时的一个昂头。



Do demonstrate—or simulate—humility. "You want to project the best parts of your true self," says Jason DeSanto, a senior lecturer at Northwestern University who's written speeches for members of Congress. "It's important to be both gracious and humble. And if that's not who you are, be fake." Russell Crowe (Best Actor, Gladiator) overcame both an embarrassingly wispy tie and a reputation for being a jerk with this eloquent 2001 meditation on unlikely childhood dreams. Key line: "For anyone who's on the downside of advantage and relying purely on courage, it's possible." Key bit of body language: The Michelangelo-esque head lift on the word "possible."

05.杰克·帕兰斯

奥斯卡获奖感言“五要”：幽默搞笑屡试不爽
所有人都会说幽默很有必要，但其实这招挺傻不拉机的。你要是周星星，随便说句“我想上厕所”人家就已经笑翻了；不然的话，你再怎么假装搞笑也还是会很没有喜感。瞧瞧下面这段视频里头Jack Palance大爷对于自己年龄的自嘲和单手俯卧撑吧，绝对博得满堂喝彩。



Do be funny. Though every expert mentions this guideline, they admit it's a stupid tip, because you're either funny or you're not. If the Academy hadn't pursued its unofficial policy of stiffing comedies and had honored Bill Murray's work in 2003's Lost in Translation, his acceptance speech might have been as witty as the one he delivered at the Independent Spirit Awards. "Given the Academy's prejudice against comedies," says Temescu, "the chance of funny people getting up there is not so great." Which leaves us with this trite, but still instructive clip of Jack Palance and his one-armed push-ups.


06.哈莉·贝瑞

奥斯卡获奖感言“一不要”：别连路人都感谢好吧？
最糟糕莫过于一张长长长长的致谢名单。Sarah Jessia Parker拿艾美奖的时候就感谢了“祝我好运的路人”，汗一个，难怪她没拿奥斯卡。至于首位赢得奥斯卡最佳女主角的哈莉贝瑞的致辞呢，评论界褒贬不一，前头抽抽搭搭哭了大半天的地儿，有人喜欢有人讨厌，但是后半截一路感谢到第十四个人她的律师的时候，台下都觉着特喷饭了，她还狠没有觉悟地继续一路哭下去。



Don't thank your lawyers. The worst mistake is thanking an endless list of names. Winners have thanked everyone from their makeup person to "the Maharishi." Sarah Jessica Parker, accepting an Emmy, once expressed gratitude to "passers-by who always wanted the best for me," which may be one reason she's never been nominated for an Oscar. Temescu admits that she often has to negotiate her star clients back to a "reasonable number of thank-yous."

Critics are split on this blubbering, bombastic 2002 speech Halle Berry delivered as the first African-American to win Best Actress (Monster's Ball). Some, like Walker, find it genuinely moving: "She allowed herself to be overwhelmed," he says, "then scaled it back and gave it structure." Even he agrees, however, that Berry should have stopped after her 14th shout-out—to her lawyers—provoked amused laughter. Instead, she scolds the audience and humorlessly sobs on.

To Berry's credit, she enthusiastically mocked her own speech the next year when winning a Worst Actress award for Catwoman at the Golden Razzies ("Thank you so much, I never in my life thought I would be up here!").

07.马龙·白兰度

奥斯卡获奖感言“二不要”：不要上升到政治高度
除非你能跟乔治·克鲁尼那样，絮絮叨叨都很帅，否则这一分钟机会拿来挪为政治宣讲，实在也没啥大影响力。比方马龙·白兰度因《教父》一片赢得最佳男主角的时候，让一印第安打扮的姑娘上台拒绝领奖，然后再解释说不拿奖是因为印第安人受到不公的待遇。呃，这是哪儿跟哪儿啊？



Don't politicize your speech. Unless you're George Clooney and can be charmingly preachy, says Temescu, it's risky to use your 60 seconds to agitate for a cause—as demonstrated in this classic 1973 clip of alleged Apache Indian "Sacheen Littlefeather" refusing the Oscar on behalf of Marlon Brando (Best Actor, The Godfather). Ms. Littlefeather, later revealed to be one Maria Cruz, a not particularly indigenous actress and Miss American Vampire of 1970, nonsensically explains that Brando's acting cannot possibly be lauded because American Indians are being mistreated. Even she couldn't be bothered to read his full 739-word tirade which includes the sentence, "Why is this woman standing up here, ruining our evening, invading our lives...?"

It is fitting to recall legendary screenwriter Paddy Chayefsky's response to Vanessa Redgrave's 1978 unfestive rant against "Zionist hoodlums": "I would like to suggest to Miss Redgrave that her winning an Academy Award is not a pivotal moment in history, does not require a proclamation, and a simple 'thank you' would have sufficed."

08.汤姆·汉克斯

奥斯卡获奖感言“三不要”：不要打什么虚无缥缈的比方把神啊上帝都扯进来
朴实无华的语言最能打动人，1994年汤姆·汉克斯凭借《费城故事》封影帝的致辞被评为奥斯卡世上最差前三甲，一开头还不错——声音颤抖，挺情到深处的——接着就开始语无伦次，前言不搭后语起来。什么造物主啦，天使啦，天堂的街道太拥挤了啦，总之让听得你云里雾里，不知所云。



Don't attempt ornate metaphors involving the Almighty. Simple chatty language works best. This 1994 acceptance by Tom Hanks (Best Actor, Philadelphia), which The Independent called one of the three worst of all time, starts out OK—nicely tremulous, adequately wry—but eventually devolves into incoherent speechifying. At one point, Hanks insists tautologically that the embrace of the creator allows angels to see the truth that is made manifest by the creator. He also suggests that the "streets of heaven are too crowded" with such angels, which appears to be a swipe at God's urban-planning skills.

Hanks' efforts are no match, however, for the loony, pseudo-Shakespearean grandiloquence of Sir Laurence Olivier (Lifetime Achievement, 1979). Though his reference to "the euphoria that happens to so many of us at the first breath of the majestic glow of a new tomorrow" reduced Jon Voight to stunned awe, Olivier himself crisply dismissed the speech the next day as "utterly meaningless."

09.茱莉亚·罗伯茨

奥斯卡获奖感言“四不要”：不要叫人家乐队指挥“棍人儿”
无论什么情况，都不应该显得自己傲慢自大、目中无人、颐指气使。2001年的茱莉亚·罗伯茨虽性感无疑，却跟这仨统统沾边儿，上来就特拽跟人家乐队指挥说：“你那小棍儿举得也忒快了点儿，你就淡定坐会儿呗，说不好我都回不来的。”接着就叫人家什么“棍人儿”，最后不忘一声女王尖笑，吓死人咧。



Don't refer to the distinguished conductor as "stick man." "You never want to appear arrogant, presumptuous, or entitled," says Temecsu. In 2001, a recklessly sassy Julia Roberts (Best Actress, Erin Brockovich) managed to be all three. She spends a good part of the time threatening the orchestra's conductor in cocky, lilting Dr. Seuss-like phrases. "Sir…you're so quick with that stick, but why don't you sit, because I may never be here again." She later derides him as "Stick Man," then hoots crazily to cover her near-descent into outright bitchery. While not nearly as obnoxious as James Cameron's "I'm the King of the World" speech for 1997's Best Picture Titanic, Roberts reveals a disturbingly healthy ego.

10.罗贝托·贝尼尼

奥斯卡获奖感言“五不要”：别爬椅子上，谢谢
不知道罗贝托·贝尼尼当时那根筋搭错了high到这种地步，爬椅子啦，蹦跶上台啦。当时看来吧，觉着还挺好玩的，现在瞧瞧实在觉得有点不堪回首咧。



Don't walk on the furniture. No one is quite sure what possessed Roberto Benigni (Best Actor, 1997's Life Is Beautiful) to do any of this: the clambering, the hopping, the wild determination to "make love to everyone." At one point, even committed Roberto admirer Sophia Loren looks concerned. "Boy, oh boy, it was kind of charming when it happened," says Temuscu, "but it's almost unwatchable now." As is Roberto Benigni, who has graciously faded into obscurity.