再见罢，我不幸的乡土哟
“Good-bye, My Ill-fated Motherland!”

巴金
Ba Jin

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选二》

踏上了轮船的甲板以后，我便和中国的土地暂别了，心里自然装满了悲哀和离愁。开船的时候我站在甲板上，望着船慢慢地往后退离开了岸，一直到我看不见岸上高大的建筑物和黄浦江中的外国兵舰，我才掉过头来。我的眼里装满了热泪，我低声说了一句：“再见罢，我不幸的乡土哟!”
The moment I set foot on the deck of the ship, there began my temporary separation from Chinese soil and a feeling of parting sorrow welled up in my heart. At sailing time, I stood on deck watching the ship receding slowly form the bank until I was out of sight of the towering waterfront buildings and the foreign warships on the Huangpu River. Thereupon I turned round with hot rears in my eyes, murmuring, “Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland!”

要点：
1，本文题目“Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland!” 是一首叫做《断头台上》的歌的第一句，据说是旧俄政治犯蜜蜡科夫所做
2，“踏上甲板以后，我就…”译者在此将其转化为“从踏上甲板的那刻起，我就….”，译为the moment I…,相较于直接译为After更具文学性
3，“心里自然装满了悲哀和离愁”可译为my heart was filled with the natural sorrow of parting、I was seized with the sadness of parting、a feeling of parting sorrow welled up in my heart等，现采用最后译法，因前两者侧重“状态”，最后译法侧重“动作”，能更好地表达作者踏上甲板时随即产生的情绪。其中seized with的用法，我们在《离别》中也见到过，“我有一种说不出的感动“译为I was seized with violent emotion, tears welling up in my eyes and blurring my eyeglasses.
4，“望着船慢慢地往后退离开了岸”也可译为watching the ship moving slowly backwards to tear itself away from the bank或watching the ship receding slowly from the bank。《离别》中“…当我倚在高高的船栏上，见着船渐渐的离岸了，船与岸间的水面渐渐的阔了…“译为Leaning over the high railing, I watched the ship tearing itself away slowly from the shore, leaving a widening expanse of water in between.此处的”离岸“也用了用tear away
4，“岸上高大的建筑物”可译为the tall riverside buildings或the towering waterfront buildings，现选用后者。其中towering意为“高大的，高耸的”即extremely tall or high and therefore impressive，较tall更有画面感

综述：《离别》和《再见罢》题材类似，二者对比起来学习，将会有不错的提升

再见罢，我不幸的乡土哟，这二十二年来你养育了我。我无日不在你的怀抱中，我无日不受你的扶持。我的衣食取给于你。我的苦乐也是你的赐与。我的亲人生长在这里，我的朋友也散布在这里。在幼年时代你曾使我享受种种的幸福；可是在我有了知识以后⑤你又成了我的痛苦的源泉了。
Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland! I owe what I am to the upbringing you have given me during the past 22 years. I have spent every day of my life in your warm bosom and under your loving care. You have given me joy and sorrow as well as food and clothing. This is where my close relatives were born and brought up and where I have friends here and there. You gave me a wide variety of happiness in my early childhood, but you have also been the source of my sorrow ever since I began to understand things.

要点：
1，“这二十二年来你养育了我”译者转换主语，译为I owe what I am to the upbringing（养育） you have given me during the past 22 years，其中I owe what I am是增益成分，既表达原文的内涵，又传达了作者的感激之情。《张》中也给出了两个可选的翻译方案，I have been under your loving（充满爱的） care for 22 years或You have been rearing（养育） me for 22 years，但皆不如第一种译法贴切。但这三句的表达都是值得借鉴积累的好句型~
2，“我无日不…”是一个双重否定句，译者在此译为肯定句，即“我每日都…”
3,” 我的衣食取给于你。我的苦乐也是你的赐与。”合译为“你给了我衣服食物，给了我快乐伤悲”，原文中“取给于你”“是你的赐予”都带有被动含义，译文变被动为主动~值得借鉴
4，“在我有了知识以后”不宜直译为since I began to have knowledge，因这句的意思应为“自从我懂事以来”，故译ever since I began to understand things。

综述：不管文学还是非文学，翻译时都应尽量避免被动句（刻意要突出新信息或动作施动者时除外）

在这里我看见了种种人间的悲剧，在这里我认识了我们所处的时代，在这里我身受了各种的痛苦。我挣扎，我苦斗，我几次濒于灭亡，我带了遍体的鳞伤。我用了眼泪和叹息埋葬了我的一些亲人，他们是被旧礼教杀了的。
Here I have witnessed all sorts of human tragedy. Here I have come to know the times we live in. Here I have undergone untold sufferings. I have been struggling, fighting and, time and again, found myself on the brink of destruction and covered all over with cuts and bruises. I have laid to rest, with tears and sighs, some of my close relatives—relatives victimized by old feudal ethics.

要点：
1， 本段出现了两次“种种，各种”，第一次译为all sort of,第二次译为untold（数不尽的，难以形容的，未叙述的）
2， “我挣扎，我苦斗，我几次濒于灭亡，我带了遍体的鳞伤。”中文为了突出强调，增强气势，采用了并列的句式，翻译时要进行合译。“我带了遍体鳞伤”即“我全身被伤所覆盖”译为I have been covered all over with cuts and bruises.
3， 文中将“埋葬”译为lay to rest,”杀了”译为victimize，都是采取了委婉的说法，文学翻译中常见~

综述：
注意untold的用法，体会文学的委婉~

这里有美丽的山水，肥沃的田畴，同时又有黑暗的监狱和刑场。在这里坏人得志、好人受苦，正义受到摧残。在这里人们为了争取自由，不得不从事残酷的斗争。在这里人们在吃他的同类的人。——那许多的惨酷的景象，那许多的悲痛的回忆!
Here, besides beautiful mountains and rivers and fertile farmland, we have ghastly prisons and execution grounds as well. Here bad people hold sway while good people suffer and justice is trodden down underfoot. Here people have to wage a savage struggle in order to win freedom. Here man eats man. O the numerous terrible scenes! O the numerous sad memories!

要点：
1，“这里有…同时又有…”译作besides…we have …as well
2,”得志“即“掌权”译为hold sway,“摧残”即“践踏”，译为tread down
3, “在这里人们在吃他的同类的人”亦即“在这里人吃人”，故译Here man eats man。

综述：
本段原文采用了“在这里”的排比，抒发了作者强烈的情感，颇有气势，译者也采用了here 开头的并列句，在最大限度上还原了原文的意思和情感~

哟，雄伟的黄河，神秘的扬子江哟，你们的伟大的历史在哪里去了?这样的国土!这样的人民!我的心怎么能够离开你们!再见罢，我不幸的乡土哟!我恨你，我又不得不爱你。
O the grand Yellow River! O the mysterious Yangtze River! Where on earth are your glories of the past? O my native land! O my people! How can I have the heart to leave you?Good-bye, my ill-fated motherland! Much as I hate you, I’ve got to love you as ever.

要点:
1，“你们的伟大的历史在哪里去了?”意即“你们过去的辉煌哪里去了?”，故译Where on earth are your glories of the past?。
2，“我的心怎么能够离开你们?”意即“我怎么舍得离开你们?”，故译How can I have the heart to leave you?或How can I find it in my heart to leave you?。其中have the heart to do和find it in my heart to do都是“忍心做某事“的意思
3，“我恨你，我又不得不爱你”如译I love you as much as I hate you或I love you though I also hate you，会让人感到迷惑，到底是爱还是恨？(╯‵□′)╯︵┻━┻
其实作者的情感其实是“哀其不幸，恨其不争“，因此译为Much as I hate you，I’ve got to love you as ever，其中Much as作“虽然”解，等于Although；as ever作“照常”解，原文虽无其词而有其意。

综述：
最后一句作者情感较为复杂•，要根据上文，进行深刻解剖之后再译~

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