巷The Lane

柯灵 Ke ling

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选一》

不高不矮的围墙挡在两边，斑斑驳驳的苔痕，墙上挂着一串串苍翠欲滴的藤萝，简直像古朴的屏风。墙里常是人家的竹园，修竹森森，天籁细细(9)；春来时还常有几枝娇艳的桃花杏花，娉娉婷婷，从墙头殷勤地摇曳红袖，向行人招手。走过几家墙门，都是紧紧关着，不见一个人影，因为那都是人家的后门。偶然躺着一只狗，但是决不会对你狺狺地狂吠。
On either side of the lane stand enclosing walls of medium height, which, moss-covered and hung with clusters of fresh green wisteria, look almost like screens of primitive simplicity. Inside the walls are residents’ gardens with dense groves of tall bamboos as well as soft sounds of nature. In spring, beautiful peach and apricot blossoms atop the walls, like graceful girls waving their red sleeves, will sway hospitably to beckon the pedestrians. You’ll find the doors in the walls close shut without a soul in sight because they are back doors to some households. Occasionally, you may come upon a dog lying there, which, however, never gives a bark at you.

要点：
1，“不高不矮的”即“高低适中的”译为of medium height，由此童鞋们可以猜猜“高高低低的”怎么说？of different height, 这个就很有意思了
2，”不高不矮的围墙挡在两边，斑斑驳驳的苔痕，墙上挂着一串串苍翠欲滴的藤萝，简直像古朴的屏风。”意即“巷子两边是围墙，墙上布满苔痕和藤萝，（墙）像屏风“（为了帮助大家理解，原谅我用这么不诗意的语言来解释…）译为On either side of the lane stand enclosing walls of medium height, which, moss-covered and hung with clusters of fresh green wisteria, look almost like screens of primitive simplicity.主语从”巷子“到”围墙“这种视角推进式的句子并不容易翻译，需要很强的语法功底~
3，“修竹森森，天籁细细“中的”修“就是高，”森森“即”茂密“，”天籁“即”自然界的声音“这两句一并译为dense groves of tall bamboos as well as soft sounds of nature. 此时译者没有拘泥于“叠字”形式上的对译，而是着眼于大局，采用了“淡化”或“简化”的处理方法有意把“叠字”的韵味分散或转移到相关的词语中去，以追求译文总体效果，十分得体。下文“娉娉婷婷”也采用了同样的方法来处理~
4, “春来时还常有几枝娇艳的桃花杏花，娉娉婷婷，从墙头殷勤地摇曳红袖，向行人招手。”译为In spring, beautiful peach and apricot blossoms atop the walls, like graceful girls waving their red sleeves, will sway hospitably to beckon the pedestrians.注意此处译者对文中的状语的位置稍作了调整，使译文更加流畅~
5，“狺狺”作为一个拟声词，在原文中无疑为文章增加了音律上的美感，而在翻译时我们要从整体结构着眼，决定这个词是否要译出，此处为了行文简洁，所以略去不译。

综述：注意本段对于叠字的处理，既要简洁，又要突出原文的神韵~

小巷的动人处就是它无比的悠闲。无论是谁，只要你到巷里去踯躅一会，你的心情就会如巷尾不波的古井，那是一种和平的静穆，而不是阴森和肃杀(10)。它闹中取静，别有天地，仍是人间。它可能是一条现代的乌衣巷(11)，家家有自己的一本哀乐帐，一部兴衰史，可是重门叠户，讳莫如深，夕阳影里，野花闲草，燕子低飞，寻觅归家。只是一片澄明如水的气氛，净化一切，笼罩一切，使人忘忧。
The charm of the lane lies in its absolute serenity. No matter who you are, if you loiter around in the lane for a while, your mind will become as unruffled as the ancient well at the end of the lane. There you will experience a kind of peaceful calmness rather than gloomy sternness. There reigns peace and quiet in the midst of noisy bustle. It is a world of its own on earth. it may be a modern version of wu yi xiang, a special residential area of nobility in the jin dynasty southeast of today’s nanjing, where each family, secluded behind closed doors, has its own covered-up story of joys and sorrows, and rise and decline. When the sun is setting, swallows will fly low over wild flowers and grass on their way to their nests. The all-pervading and all-purifying atmosphere of water-like placidness makes one forget all cares and worries.

要点：
1，“踯躅“即”慢慢地走“译为loiter around, loiter之前多次见了，是文学翻译的常客
2，“阴森和肃杀“译为gloomy sternness ,这个结构跟之前见到的gentle gracefulness
一样，为“定语+抽象名词“~
3，“它闹中取静，别有天地，仍是人间“中”闹中取静“意即”它在喧闹的城市中保有一片安静之地“译为There reigns peace and quiet in the midst of noisy bustle.；”别有天地，仍是人间“出自李白的一句诗”别有天地非人间“即”另有一番境界，形容风景或艺术创作的境界引人入胜“译为a world of its own on earth
4，“乌衣巷“采取释义法译为wu yi xiang, a special residential area of nobility in the jin dynasty southeast of today’s nanjing。之前也说过很多次了，这种中国特有的词汇，一般先音译，之后加注，加括号，或者在后面加以解释~
5，“重门叠户”即“多关口屏障，易于防守”，而“讳莫如深“指把事情隐瞒得很紧，两词都有”隐藏得很深“的意思，因此译为secluded behind closed doors
6，“夕阳影里，野花闲草，燕子低飞，寻觅归家“整合为一句即”太阳下山的时候，燕子低飞在花丛草丛中，回到自己的窝“，故译为When the sun is setting, swallows will fly low over wild flowers and grass on their way to their nests。这类散句比较简单，不用费劲找逻辑，把意思整合在一起即可~

综述：除了上述几点，细细品味译文对于原文意境美的传达~

你是否觉得劳生草草，身心两乏？我劝你工余之暇，常到小巷里走走，那是最好的将息，会使你消除疲劳，紧张的心弦得到调整。你如果有时情绪烦燥，心情悒郁，我劝你到小巷里负手行吟一阵，你一定会豁然开朗，怡然自得，物我两忘。
Aren’t you weighed down with cares in this life of hard toil and exhausted physically and mentally? I would like to advise you often to take a walk in the lane in your off-duty hours. That is the best way to take a rest. It will dissipate(驱散) your fatigue and relieve your nervous tension. When you are fidgety（坐立不安的） or depressed, go to the lane and wander around reciting or composing poems with your hands crossed behind your back. You will then suddenly fall into a bright mood and enjoy inner peace, forgetting both yourself and the external world.

要点：
1，“你是否觉得劳生草草“中的”劳生“意为”辛劳的生活“，译为a life of hard toil”草草“即”忧虑“，全句译为Aren’t you weighed down with cares in this life of hard toil(辛苦) …其中to weigh down 意为“使苦恼”~
2,” 负手行吟”译为wander around reciting or composing poems with your hands crossed behind your back.
3, “豁然开朗“(一下子变得明朗)，”怡然自得“（高兴而满足），”物我两忘“（指创作时主体与客观世界浑然为一而兼忘），意思各不相同，但句式并不复杂，分开译即可~

综述：依旧注意本部分对于四字短语的处理~

你有爱人吗？我建议不要带了她去什么名园胜景，还是利用晨昏时节，到深巷中散散步。在那里，你们俩可以随便谈谈，心贴得更近，在街上那种贪婪的睨视，恶意的斜觑，巷里是没有的；偶然呀的一声，墙门口显现出一个人影，又往往是深居简出(13)的姑娘，看见你们，会娇羞地返身回避了。
don’t you have a sweetheart? Let me suggest that, instead of accompanying her on a visit to famous park or scenic spot, you take her with you for a stroll（散步） in the lane at dawn or dusk. Over there, you two can chat freely and with even deeper affection, free from greedy sidelong(睨视) glances or malicious squints such as you often meet with in busy streets. Suddenly, at a creaking sound, there may appear a figure by a door—usually an unsophisticated young girl. She will, at the sight of you, withdraw coyly into the house.

要点：
1，“你们俩可以随便谈谈， “= you two can chat freely and with even deeper affection，“心贴得更近”
2，“偶然呀的一声”这里的“呀”指的是门开时发出的声音,译为creaking,即嘎吱作响的声音
3，“墙门口显现出一个人影，又往往是深居简出(13)的姑娘，看见你们，会娇羞地返身回避了“译为there may appear a figure by a door—usually an unsophisticated young girl. She will, at the sight of you, withdraw coyly into the house.译者先是将“墙门口 “作为主语， 引出新信息“ 一个 人 影 ”， 继而由“ 人 影 ” 再引发下面的说明“又往往是深居简出的姑娘“，译文中直接采用了同位语来衔接信息 ， 使译文更为紧凑。
3，“深居简出”可译为secluded,但此处用unsophisticated，意为“不谙世事”~ 更加灵活~

综述：注意第三点，新信息的引出

巷，是人海汹汹中的一道避风塘，给人家带来安全感；是城市暄嚣扰攘中的一带洞天幽境，胜似皇家的阁道，便于平常百姓徘徊徜徉。
The lane is a safe haven for those struggling in the turbulent sea of humans to enjoy a sense of security. It is a heavenly abode in the midst of confusion. Unlike the erstwhile plank-paved path used exclusively by the imperial family for their vehicles to move on smoothly, the lane is place for the common people to roam about leisurely.

要点：
1，“洞天幽境”中的“洞天”本指上天群仙所住之处，现按“超凡的住所“解，译为heavenly abode~（听起来真的好像游戏的场景。。。
2,”阁道“指古代皇家楼阁之间以木架空的通道（额，自己想像一下。。。），又是属于中国传统文化的词，用释义法~

综述：本部分主要是两个具有中国特色的词汇的翻译~

之前说过很多爱逐臭争利，锱铢必较的，请到长街闹市去；爱轻嘴薄舌的，争是论非的，请到茶馆酒楼去；爱锣鼓钲镗，管弦嗷嘈的，请到歌台剧院去；爱宁静淡泊，沉思默想的，深深的小巷在欢迎你。
Those who strive after fame and gain, and haggle over every penny, please go to the downtown area! Those who are sharp-tongued and quarrelsome, please go to the teahouse or restaurant! Those who love deafening gongs and drums as well as noisy wind and string instruments, please go to the opera house or theatre! Those who are given to profound meditation and a quiet life without worldly desires, welcome to the lane!

要点：（一大批四字词语袭来~）
1，本段中“ 请 到 … … 去 ” 采用相同结构， 达到了语篇的连贯效果。译文中，张利用了平行结构，也就是用和原文最为相近的结构， 体现语篇的连贯
2,四字短语的积累ing~
逐臭争利，锱铢必较= strive after fame and gain, and haggle over（斤斤，讨价还价）
every penny
轻嘴薄舌的，争是论非= sharp-tongued and quarrelsome

综述：注意本段对于原文排比句的翻译，平行结构的使用不仅体现了散文的结构美，而且还保留了原文的音韵美~

《巷》是柯灵（1909- ）写于1930年秋的一篇著名散文。作者以沉挚细腻的笔调叙述江南小城市中的小巷，向往那里悠闲宁静的情调，流露出对大都市喧闹纷争的生活的厌恶。

声明：本双语文章的中文评析系沪江英语原创内容，转载请注明出处。中文评析仅代表作者个人观点，仅供参考。如有不妥之处，欢迎指正。