巷The Lane

柯灵 Ke ling

| 译文摘自张培基《英译中国散文选一》

巷，是城市建筑艺术中一篇飘逸恬静的散文，一幅古雅冲淡的图画。
The lane, in terms of the art of urban architecture, is like a piece of prose of gentle gracefulness or a painting of classic elegance and simplicity.

要点：
1，“飘逸恬静”译为gentle gracefulness，把原文两个并列形容词转变为英语“定语＋抽象名词”的形式，内容不变。这是文学翻译时常用方法。
2，“古雅冲淡的图画“意即”优雅简单的古画“译为a painting of classic elegance and simplicity

综述：前方高能！！本文通篇充斥着四字词，

这种巷，常在江南的小城市中(2)，有如古代的少女，躲在僻静的深闺，轻易不肯抛头露面。你要在这种城市里住久了，和它真正成了莫逆，你才有机会看见她，接触到她优娴贞静的风度。它不是乡村的陋巷(3)，湫隘破败(4)，泥泞坎坷，杂草乱生，两旁还排列着错落的粪缸。
Often tucked away in a small town south of the Yangtze river, the lane, like a maiden of ancient times hidden away in a secluded boudoir, is reluctant to make its appearance in public. You’ll never have an opportunity to see it and savour its gentle poise until you have become truly attached to the small town after living there for a long time. The lane has nothing in common with the mean rural alleys, which are narrow and low-lying, muddy and bumpy, overgrown with wild weeds and lined here and there with manure vats .

要点：
1，“常在河南的小城市中”译为often tucked away in a small town south of the yangtse river，其中动词短语to tuck away作“使隐藏”、“把……置放在隐蔽的地方”解，是添加成 分，原文虽无其词而有其意。
2，“有如古代的少女，躲在僻静的深闺，轻易不肯抛头露面。”译为the lane, like a maiden of ancient times hidden away in a secluded boudoir, is reluctant to make its appearance in public.这个分句又粗线了两个动词，“躲在…“是次要动词，译文将其处理为后置定语，将”不肯…”译为主要动词~
3，“它不是乡村的陋巷”意即“它和乡村的陋巷不同”，因此全句译为the lane has nothing in common with the mean rural alleys，其中成语in common的意思是“共同”。大家可以看到文学翻译中对于一些常见词的翻译都很灵活，比如这个“不是”，在不同语境中的处理是不一样的
如：“哲学不是知识”可以译为=philosophy does not pretend to be knowledge.
“哲学不是几何学“=philosophy dissimilar to geometry.
“哲学不是科学技术“=philosophy does not work the way that science and technology do
4, “湫隘破败”意即”低洼矮小，衰落破败“译为narrow and low-lying，未交代“破败”，因它的意思已包含在句中“陋”、“坎坷”等形容词中。但如照译不误，也无不可：narrow, low-lying and in bad condition (out of repair)。
5，“泥泞坎坷“还好说~有现成的词可以用，”杂草乱生“可译为outgrown with weeds，而”两旁还排列着错落的粪缸“时，注意转为被动，译为lined here and there with manure vats .

综述：定语太多怎么办?甩给which君！！学习用which串句子的技巧~

它不是上海的里弄，鳞次栉比的人家，拥挤得喘不过气；小贩憧憧来往，黝暗的小门边，不时走出一些趿着拖鞋的女子，头发乱似临风飞舞的秋蓬，眼睛里网满红丝，脸上残留着不调和的隔夜脂粉，颓然地走到老虎灶上去提水。也不像北地的胡同，满目尘土，风起处刮着弥天的黄沙。
Nor has it anything in common with linong (meaning alleys) in Shanghai, which are literally packed with dwellings and their residents. Over there, you’ll see vendors hawking their wares here and there. From time to time, women are seen emerging from inside some dingy small gates and shuffling languidly in their slippers towards a laohuzao, the shop specializing in selling boiled water, their hair disheveled like wind-blown withered grass in autumn, their eyes blood-shot, their faces betraying traces of overnight make-up. Nor has the lane anything in common with hutong (also meaning alleys) in north china, which are dusty on every side, especially when a wind rises.

要点：1，“它不是上海的里弄”译为Nor has it anything in common with linong (meaning alleys) in Shanghai.同志们~nor开头有木有似曾相识的赶脚~对！整个一段就是一个大写的“否定词+nor 结构”啊~我含辛茹苦地说了那么多期
2，“鳞次栉比的人家，拥挤得喘不过气”译为which are literally packed with dwellings and their residents.，因为“鳞次栉比”本身就是“形容房屋密集”的意思，所以用一be pack with（表挤满，塞满）处理足以~避免意思重复
3，译文中的over there，属于增译，承载着新信息到旧信息的过渡，使得新主语“小贩”的出现显得不那么突兀。下文from time to time也是为了新主语“女子”的出现起到缓冲的作用，使语篇连贯更为自然~
4,，“不时走出一些趿着拖鞋的女子”这里的“走”译为shuffle（拖着脚走），又体现了文学翻译中对于小词的运用~以下是常见的各种“走”：
Stagger（蹒跚）, plod（重步走）, pace（踱步）, loiter（闲逛）, stride（大步走）, strut（昂首阔步）, ramble（漫步）, lurk（潜伏）, creep（爬行）, stroll（闲逛）, trudge（艰难地走）, lurch（摇摆不定地走）, limp（跛行）, crawl（爬）, rush （快步走）
好好记住这些词，下文还会用上哒~这些小词对翻译写作和阅读都有帮助~
4, “头发乱似临风飞舞的秋蓬”中的“蓬”是一种草，即“蓬蒿”，秋时干枯，临风飞舞，现将此句译为“disheveled like wind-blown withered grass in autumn.而“颓然”意即“没精打采”或“慢吞吞”译为languidly sluggishly.
5，本段中的“里弄“”胡同“都是中国才有的东西，一般采用音译法，在之后加注或者在文中直接给予解释，这点在《中年人的寂寞》等文中也有体现~

综述：本段还要注意，张爷爷在翻译女子一系列状态时，用了一连串的独立主格结构，给人动作神态一气呵成的感觉~~

这种小巷，隔绝了市廛的红尘，却又不是乡村的风味。它又深又长，一个人耐心静静走去，要老半天才走完。它又这么曲折，你望前面，好像已经堵塞了(7)，可是走过去，一转弯，依然是巷陌深深，而且更加幽静。那里常是寂寂的，寂寂的(8)，不论什么时候，你向巷中踅去，都如宁静的黄昏，可以清晰地听到自己的足音。
The lane, though cut off from the hustle and bustle of busy cities, does not taste of the countryside at all. It is long and deep, so it will take you a long while to walk patiently and quietly through it from end to end. It is also so winding that it seems to be a blind alley when you look far ahead, but if you keep walking until you take a turning, you’ll find it again lying endless and still more quiet. There is nothing but stillness there. At any hour of day, you can even distinctly hear in the dusk-like quiet your own footsteps.

要点：
1，“市廛”即“市区”，“红尘”即“繁华的社会”因此译为the hustle and bustle of busy cities，增加了译文的音韵之美~
2，“它又这么曲折，你望前面，好像已经堵塞了，可是走过去，一转弯，依然是巷陌深深，而且更加幽静。”第 一 句 主 是 是 “ 它 ( 巷 ) ”， 第 二 句主语是 “ 一个人 ”，虽然并未写出来，但是意义不言自明。译文采用 “ y o u ” 来转换主语，。译为It is also so winding that it seems to be a blind alley when you look far ahead（把“人“和”巷“联系）, but if you（转换主语咯~） keep walking until you take a turning, you’ll find it again lying endless and still more quiet.
3，动词lying 使巷子具有动态的美感，lying endless ，两个词放在一起，仿佛让人看到,一条无限延伸的巷子
4，“好像已经堵塞了“意即”好像是死胡同“故译为it seems to be a blind alley
5, “那里常是寂寂的，寂寂的”语气强调，译为There is nothing but stillness there(nothing but此处表强调哦)
6，本段仍旧有一些不太好理解的词语，例如“巷陌深深“形容巷子长”，踅去“意为”走去“，这些都是要考平时积累的，平时多读名家名作对于翻译这类文章有巨大帮助~

综述：注意第二点第二点第二点所提到的视角推进~

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