看图作文在英语作文中是大家普遍缺乏练习的一种类型,一个提高的方式就是看范例和点评,针对其中的错误进行自我修正。

拔苗助长:

写作原文

As is vividly unfolded in the caricature,A(改为a) little boy is required to finish reading a mass of books which are even higher than his height by his father(此处作者想用by his father表达什么含义?建议去掉),whose facial expression implies that he is rather unwilling and distressed.in(改为In) the picture,there is a book called Early-MBA.genarally,It is(注意标点及大小写的正确使用,建议作者改为“, which is generally”)read by adults.the(首字母大写) drawer aims to reveal a symbolic meaning that parents should cultivate children according to his(改为their) aptitude,instead of blind notion of education.In contemporary society,the number of students who suffer from cram school(改为schools) and the pressure of their parents(句子层次混乱,建议加“, which改为定语从句”)has increased at an alarming rate.Careful deliberation of this phenomenon has illustrated me on why this should be so(表达不准确,改为There are numerous reasons why exists this phenomenon, and I would explore only a few of the most important ones here).Fierce competition,in the first place,constitues(拼写错误,改为consists) one of the primary reasons.According to a recent survey made by sina,there are one million students choose to pursue a master degree after graduation.Attending cram school(改为schools) will lay a foundation for future development.Convergent thinking existing in the society is also the breeding ground for this trend.This undesirable general mood of society will eventually result(改为results) in being devoid of innovation.If there is no compelling interference to revease(拼写错误,改为reverse) this trend,our country is bound to be influenced adversely.To be specific,It(小写) will lack innovative talent,be short of the motion to accelerate,(改为be short of the motivation to promote the development of economy)and ultimately be detrimental to building up a suststainable(拼写错误,改为sustainable)development society.In terms of my personal experience,It(小写)is urgent and imperative to take counter measures.For one thing, the public media should advocate and propagandize the notion of divergent thinking,which will be conducive to one’s personal growth and core competitive power.For another,students should foster a desirable life philosophy.If we can implement as the above mentioned,the promising future can be well guaranteed.

总体点评

文章采用经典的三段式结构进行阐述,重点突出,条理清晰;但还存在一些简单的语法错误。作者在写作完之后若可以花费几分钟时间来回读文章,便会减少不必要的错误。考研作文的整体思路你已经基本掌握,后面要做的就是多积累高分佳句,加强句子成分的分析。写完之后一定要认真检查,减少失分点。

参考分数(满分20分):12

英语写作水平的提升需要不断地练习,在改正错误中不断取得进步,不怕犯错误,怕明知道犯错误却不面对。看了范文和点评,希望大家有思考,有提高。

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