Brushing teeth

1. Brushing your teeth in the shower.
边冲澡边刷牙。

The holy grail of any lazy person’s morning (or afternoon depending on what time you wake up).
简直是懒人们早上起床的圣杯啊！（也可能是下午，取决于你起床的时间）

wearing sock

2. Only wearing one color of sock.
只穿一种颜色的袜子。

Because fuck matching.
因为袜子也要配色很烦啊！

hair

3. Using dry shampoo.
使用干洗发剂洗头发。

It’s not gross, it’s the greatest invention in hair history.
一点都不恶心！这是发型史上最伟大的发明。

underwear

4. Owning more pairs of underwear than days of the year.
拥有的内裤数量比一年365天还多。

The fruitful consequence of abstaining from laundry as long as possible.
这样做最大的好处是：想多久不洗衣服都可以啦～

maneuver

5. Perfecting this maneuver
狂练“脚夹”能力。

You live by the motto “if you can’t reach it, you don’t need it.”
你的人生格言是：“够不到的东西都用不着”。

Wearing Uggs

6. Wearing Uggs
穿雪地靴。

Before harshly judging someone for this unfortunate fashion choice, stop to think that they might just be lazy beyond belief, just like you!
先别急着草率地判断别人的选择不够时尚，他们其实就是一群懒得令人发指的人，就像你一样。

jeans

7. Investing in a pair of raw denim jeans.
花钱买一条纯色的斜纹粗布牛仔裤。

The directions SAY not to wash them, OK??
洗涤指南都说不用洗了，好吗！

Sleeping

8. Sleeping in the shirt you wore that day.
第二天要穿那件衣服，晚上就穿着它睡觉。

Bedtime ritual: take off pants. The end.
睡前流程：脱掉长裤，搞定！

Rolling

9. Rolling instead of walking.
懒得走？那就去买把带轮子的转椅吧！

If you have a rolly chair in your office, you know what I’m talking about.
如果你的办公室有转椅，你就懂我的意思了。

Eating

10. Eating over the sink so that no plates are involved.
吃东西不想洗盘子？那就在水槽边上吃吧。

Eating

11. Eating the stickers on fruit because you’re too lazy to peel them off.
把水果上贴的标签也一起吃了，因为你实在懒得剥。

Get this — THEY’RE EDIBLE.
新技能get了没：这些标签也是可食用的哦。

gadgets

12. Buying weird gadgets that let you do everything lying down.
去淘一些可以让你躺着做事的小玩意儿。