1.Show of hands. All opposed to Leonard and his reign of tyranny?

2.Since we come in every Tuesday night at six o’clock and order the same exact thing and it’s now six-o-eight, I believe your question not only answers itself, but also stands alongside such other nonsensical queries as ‘Who let the dogs out?’ and ‘How are they hanging?’.

3.She made the case that if we break down in the middle of nowhere, your Nebraska backwoods skills and brawny hands would give us the best chance to survive in the wild.

4.I am Doctor Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS, MA, Phd, and SCD. OMG, right? ... Perhaps that joke was a little too hippy-dippy for this crowd.

5.Do you realize teaching is the first thing I’ve failed at since my ill-fated attempt to complete a chin-up in March of 1989?

6.It might help if I ‘act’ as though I care about my students and whether or not they learn.

7.Penny, my body and I have a relationship that works best when we maintain a cool, wary distance from each other.

8.... I refuse to be trotted out and shown off like a prize hog at the Texas State Fair. Which by the way, is something you don’t want to attend wearing a Star Trek ensign’s uniform.

9.No, no, no! I’m just here for your money. I don’t want to shake anybody’s germy hands!

10.If there is simply no talking to me, why did you call?