1.She's my guest. If anyone should offer her anything, it should be me. Elizabeth, can I get you something? Perhaps a feminine hygiene product, or a bowel regulating yogurt?
她是我的客人。要招待她的话也该由我来吧。伊丽莎白，我能为你效劳吗？你想要女性卫生用品还是调节肠道的酸奶？

2.Oh, Penny. This is Dr. Plimpton, a leading expert on quantum cosmology. Dr. Plimpton, Penny is a waitress who doesn't understand the role gasoline plays in an internal combustion engine.
佩妮，这位是普林顿博士，量子宇宙论权威专家。普林顿博士，这是佩妮，一名不理解内燃机需要汽油做燃料的服务生。

3.Roommates agree that Friday nights will be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series, Firefly.
室友同意在每周五晚上观看乔斯.威登最新导演的惊世力作《萤火虫》。

4.The apartment flag is gold lion rampant on a field of azure.
公寓旗帜是一头在天蓝色背景下两腿站立的狮子。

5.I'm here because you violated our roommate agreement, specifically Section Eight, 'Visitors', sub-section C, 'Females', Paragraph 4, 'Coitus'. Roommates shall give each other twelve hours' notice of impending coitus.
我来是因为你违反了我们的室友协议，确切来说是第八部分“宾客”里的c小部分“女性”里的第四段“交媾”。在进行交媾之前，室友需要提前12小时通知对方。

6.I assure you, you'll be sorry you wasted your money on an iPod, when Microsoft comes out with theirs.
等到微软出了自己的播放器，到时你就等着后悔吧，把钱浪费在一文不值的苹果机上。

7.Yes, in 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung," his fondest hope was that the resulting device be "bitchin'.
1917年，当爱因斯坦在他的文章《关于辐射的量子理论》中阐述了激光的理论基础时，他最诚挚的希望就是最终的仪器和很他妈的帅。

8.When one gets beaten up every other day in school, one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing. Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school simply by referring to oneself as "one."
隔天就在学校挨揍的某人必然会进化出更敏锐的听觉。而且在学校挨揍的某人通常都把自己称为“某人”。

9.It’s a time of day I invented. It better defines the ambiguous period between afternoon and evening: prevening. Fairly certain it will catch on, as it fills a desperate need.
是我发明的描述时间的方式，更好地定义了个模棱两可的时段，下午和晚上之间，就是傍晚。我确信因为急需精确描述，这词定会广为流传。

10.In a few minutes, when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise, how would you prefer I do it? The standard "I told you so" with a classic "neener-neener"? Or just my normal look of haughty derision?
在几分钟后，等我幸灾乐祸地冷眼旁观着本次相亲的失败，你们更愿意我怎么做？是标准答案，“我早说过会这样”？还是经典的“哦也哦也”？还是用我平常那副高傲嘲弄的表情？