1.You know, I have to say I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition. Apparently there is no law of diminishing comedic return when it comes to space poop.
我不得不说,我以为重复说马桶笑话会变得无聊。显然,用太空便便做笑点完全无懈可击呢。

2.For what it's worth, my mother says that when we deceive for personal gain, we make Jesus cry.
不管怎样,俺娘常说,为一己私欲而欺骗他人会遭报应的。

3.Perhaps you mean a different thing than I do when you say "science."
你所谓的”科学研究“跟我的相比,相差甚远吧。

4.Must be an emergency. Everyone at the university knows I eat my breakfast at 8 and move my bowels at 8:20.
肯定是紧急事件。大学里的人都知道我8点吃早餐,8点20肠胃开始消化。

5.That's fourteen hours away. For the next 840 minutes, I'm effectively one of Heisenberg's particles. I know where I am, I know how fast I'm going, but I can't know both.
还要14个小时呢。接下来840分钟我会像海森堡的粒子,只知道自己的地点或移动速度,但却不能同时知道两者。

6.I want a cookie, Mee-Maw.
奶奶,我要吃饼干。

7.No, Mother, I cannot feel your church group praying for my safety. The fact that I’m home safe does not prove that it worked. That logic is post hoc ergo propter hoc. No, I’m not sassing you in Eskimo talk.
不,妈妈,我感觉不到你的教会小组为我祈祷平安。就算我平安回家也不证明祈祷有效。这个逻辑完全是个谬误。不,我没有用爱斯基摩口吻跟你顶嘴。

8.Hello, Penny. I realize you’re currently at the mercy of your primitive biological urges, but as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?
你好,佩妮。 我明白你现在正完全被最原始的野性冲动所控制,可是反正你这辈子还会有无数错误的决定,我能不能打断这一个?

9.You think you’re so clever. Well, let me just tell you, while I do not currently have a scathing retort, you check your email periodically for a doozy.
你以为你很聪明。但是,让我来告诉你,虽然我现在想不出尖刻的话来反驳你,但我想到之后会发邮件给你的。

10.They were threatened by my intelligence and too stupid to know that’s why they hated me.
他们是因我的智慧而感受到威胁又蠢得不知道这点,因此才恨我的。