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Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has "come between" oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others.They are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill. But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any "third party" has appeared on the scene.
因失恋而痛苦，因别人"插足"于自己与心上人之间而图报复，是最徒劳、最自我折磨的了。这种事总是歪曲了事实真相，因为谁都不是别人的俘虏或牺牲品--人都是自由行事的，不论命运是好是坏，都由自己来做主。但是，遭离弃的情人或配偶无法相信他的心上人是主动地背离他的--因而他归咎于插足者心术不正或迷人有招。他把他叫做催眠师、窃贼或者破坏家族的人。然而，从大多数事例看，一个家的破裂，是早在什么"第三者"出现之前就开始了的。