In mid-December, I celebrated my 30th birthday at a little Scandinavian restaurant in a quickly-changing part of DC. I was surrounded by great artwork, brightly colored vats of aquavit, and the people I loved most. Throughout the cocktails and the courses of heavy winter food, I kept looking around to marvel at all I have to appreciate in my life. Professionally, I am a decently busy photographer and yoga teacher. I just marked a year and half with my boyfriend (we’re an OK Cupid success story). I have lovely friends and a great home and opportunities to travel. Most importantly, though, I feel good in my own skin and confident in my ability to handle the hard times.
12月中旬,我在一家传统北欧风情餐厅里庆祝了自己三十而立。这家饭店位于哥伦比亚,其所在地已经发展得日新月异。在派对上,我的周围是绚丽夺目的礼物,五彩斑斓的白兰地和我最爱的人们所带来的快乐。在享受可口的冬季佳肴和美酒的同时,我亦观察着周围的人和事,对我生命中所出现的一切感到无比激动和感恩。工作上,我是一个体面的摄影师和瑜伽教练。感情上,我和我的男友已经共同度过了一年半的甜蜜恋爱时光(我和他的故事正是丘比特爱神之箭成功射中的杰作)。我还有要好的朋友和一个幸福的家庭,甚至有机会去外面旅旅游。而最最重要的是,我对自己的现状非常满意,日子即使变得艰难,我也相信自己有能力把它处理好。

It wasn’t always this way. Five years ago, I was going through some serious soul-searching. I was just back in the States after living abroad. Confused about what I wanted to do, I took a job at a dysfunctional non-profit, where I soon felt trapped. I had been single for a while and thought this meant something big about me. I tried to be myself, but each date I went on only confirmed how far I was from having the kind of relationship I wanted. There was nothing really wrong in my life, but nothing felt like it fit.
但之前我的生活并不是这样。五年前,我一直在认真进行自我反思。当时我正从国外回来,对于前途非常迷茫。在一家不太正规的非盈利机构工作了一段时间后,我陷入了工作困境。对于单身的我来讲,这个状态是非常严重的。我努力做我自己,但每天我所作的一切却仅仅证明了一点——我正离我理想的人际关系处理状态越来越远。我的生活并没有出现什么大问题,但却总感觉有什么不对劲。

It took a lot of change to get to where I am now. I got a therapist and a life coach. I got serious about my yoga practice, sat for 10 days on an intense meditation retreat, and took ayahuasca with a shaman in the Peruvian Amazon. I took a lot of risks and was super honest about what I wanted—and what I was willing to do to get there. These days, I still feel fear, anger, anxiety, and shame. But I see these as temporary moods within the larger framework of a life I love.
我做了很大改变才成为如今的自己。我雇了一位私人医生和一位生活导师,开始认真练习瑜伽。我曾静坐整整10天,全身心投入冥想,在秘鲁亚马逊和一位萨满祭司饮用死藤水(小编注:用南美一种藤本植物的根泡制而成,有致幻作用的饮料)。我尝试了各种冒险活动,完全忠于探索自己的内心所需,并思考着我愿意怎样做才能获得它。

I want this for us all. Although I am skeptical about most New Year's resolutions—my brother says we just use them to make ourselves feel better after overindulging in the holidays—I think now is as good a time as any to make the changes you’ve been thinking about. These are five ideas that have helped me on my quest to be happier.
我希望把我的想法分享给大家。虽然对人们常讲的新年计划我持怀疑态度——弟弟说那其实人们为了享受假期找的美好慰藉——但我认为对于你们当中任何有规划新年习惯的朋友,现在就是最好的时机了。

1. Put the cart before the horse. The most important—and at times perhaps the most annoying—piece of advice that I’ve gotten is just to straight out be happier. We get so caught up in trying to look perfect, get promoted, be cool, find a partner. All of that stuff is awesome, but it's not going to feel good for long without a certain base of personal contentment. You’re just going to want more and more. If you really think about it, we seek things because we think we will feel better once we have them. So why not just feel better and then see what comes?
1.将想法本末倒置。坦白来说,我得到的最重要的有时也是最讨厌的建议就是变得更快乐。我们总是过分追求外形完美,工作晋升,保持理智或找到伴侣。没错,这些都很诱人值得去追求,但若没有自我满足感,拥有这些并不能永远让你保持快乐。你会变得贪得无厌。仔细思考下,如果你真认为,我们追求某物是因为一旦获得它我们将变得开心,那为什么不开始先保持快乐的心态,也许你想要的会自动来到你身边呢?

2. Dream big and challenge yourself. To me, making a "resolution" feels like a punishment and a chore. I’ve always preferred to think of these goals as "dreams," which stirs up the feeling of possibility for me. There is a special energy and real power that comes from talking about your dreams, even when they sound totally crazy. Around this time of year, I like to make a list of what I really want to see happen in my life. I may not get to everything on that list this year (or even in my lifetime), but at least I can understand what direction I want to be moving in. If dreams don't appeal to you, think about your change as more of a challenge. In 2011 I challenged myself to take and post a photograph every day. Taking 365 pictures was fun at times and annoying at others, but in the end I learned that living an artistic life is about doing a little work every day, not just the occasional inspiration.
2.怀揣大梦想,自我挑战。做计划这种事对我来说就是被惩罚,等于做家务。因此,我倾向于将计划看作梦想,梦想可以带来实现的可能性。当你谈论你的梦想时,你会感受到一股奇妙却真实的力量在振奋着你——即使这个梦想听起来是那么的荒诞不羁。在每年这个时间,我都会列个清单写下我真正所需的一切,看看来年它们会不会发生。我可能不会将今年(或一生)所需的东西都列在上面,但至少可以明白自己所努力的方向。若你的梦想没有足够吸引你,可以考虑改变自己来实现自我挑战。在2011年,我的自我挑战目标是每天都要拍照摄影,并将作品张贴起来。有时你会发现完成365张照片是一种乐趣,但亦有人会觉得这样的工作非常痛苦,但最终我懂得了一点——做艺术不仅仅是瞬间的灵感,更多的是每天的点滴积累。

3.Act small. "Micro movements" is a term used by the inspirational author and dreaming advocate SARK. Twenty-eight years ago she was an unemployed artist in San Francisco who suffered from chronic procrastination. What changed her into the author of 16 bestselling books was learning how to take the first step. Her advice is that if your dream is to write a novel, then your first micro movement could be to turn on your computer. After that you can decide whether or not you want to keep going. If you do, from there you can open and name a Word document. If you decide to go further, then you can write a bad sentence and then maybe another will come. I’ve also heard this used as a way to motivate yourself to exercise: If you don’t feel like going for a run, just put on your shoes and see what happens. The key is to alleviate any pressure to do everything at once. Every project is made up of dozens of small steps that are all pretty doable.
3.从小事做起。“微行动”一词是由灵感作家和梦想倡导者萨克提出来的。28年前她是旧金山的一名患有慢性拖延症的无业艺术家。之后她开始学习如何迈出第一步来改变自我,因而成为了如今写出16本畅销书的著名作家。她给大家的建议是,若你的梦想是写小说,那你的第一个微行动就是打开电脑。打开之后你再决定你是否继续下一步。如果你决定继续,那么你将打开并创建一个word文档。若你想深入进行下去,你甚至可以写个病句,而下一句或许就随之而来了。我经常听到这样鼓舞人心的话:即使你不想跑步,你也先穿上跑鞋再说。这样激励方式的关键在于减轻你立刻行动的压力。其实每个大的计划都是由多个可行的小步骤积累形成的。

4. Practice. “Practice and all is coming.” This is my favorite quote from Patabi Jois, the father of Ashtanga Yoga. His students—who were mostly Western—would come to him seeking help to escape their neuroses and destructive behavior. He would flash his beatific smile and tell them to go do their practice and everything would be ok. Of course, your practice doesn't have to be yoga. It can be biking or painting or anything that challenges and centers you. My boyfriend spends his weekends experimenting with new baking recipes, pushing himself to get the right consistency and trying again when his cakes fall. The simple act of baking makes him feel good. So what is your practice? Once you figure out what that thing is for you, make a point of doing it a few times a week and notice how you feel within the consistency. Bigger goals and dramatic changes are very real, but I’ve come to see that daily routines are really what sustain me. The best creative work often happens within the stability of practice.
4. 实践实践再实践。“实践让一切水到渠成”这是我最喜欢的一句格言,来自于阿斯汤加瑜伽鼻祖Patabi Jois。他大部分的学生来自于西方,经常请教他如何摆脱一些精神上的破坏性行为。他总是露出一丝安详的微笑,只告诉学生做瑜伽练习,一切皆会找到答案。当然,你的练习不一定是瑜伽,它可以是骑自行车,画画抑或是任何吸引你挑战你的事。我的男友愿意花整个周末时间研究全新烘烤配方,一旦烘烤失败就重新来过,他用这样的方式促使自己获得内心的协调。烘烤面包如此简单的实践却使他感觉很棒。那么你的实践是什么呢?当你找到自己适合的实践,一周留心地做几次,感受下它给你带来的内心和谐。宏伟的目标和突破性改变虽然也现实,但我却逐渐意识到每天日常的行为才是真正支撑我的东西。最具创造力的作品往往来源于你每天坚持的实践中。

5. Take refuge in yourself. The most incredible practice I’ve found is free-writing for 30 minutes each morning. I learned this from The Artist's Way (another great tool for tapping into your creative talents). I’ve done "morning pages" as consistently for over two years, and they have made such a big difference in my attitude about life, especially when I was complaining. To me, there is no comfort that can compare to the privilege of being able to sit down for 30 minutes to write about whatever is going on inside. This writing practice has made me my own best friend. It has shown me that I have infinite amounts of strength and humor if I look for it, and that I deserve all of all of good things that happen to me once I make the decision to get out of my own way. So I just do it. I wake up and write until I feel clear. Then I close my notebook and make a bowl of oatmeal and enjoy my day.
5.投靠自己。我发现最不可思议的实践行为是每天早上写半小时的随笔。我是从《the Artists' Way》学到的(另一个激发你创造性能力的强大工具)。每天早晨写随笔的习惯我已经坚持了两年多,它强烈地改变了我对生活的态度,尤其是我在抱怨的时候。现在对我来说,没有任何事比每天早晨花半小时抒发内心情绪更能让我内心舒适从容的了,它已经成为我最好的知己。它让我了解到自己体内原来有那么强大的力量和那么多的幽默细胞可以去挖掘,同时,它也让我领悟到,一旦我决定走自己的路,我值得拥有所有美好的事物。因此我一直坚持这个实践,每天清晨醒来写作,静静看着文字流淌在笔间,直到内心情绪变得清晰明确,就合上笔记本,喝一碗燕麦享受全新的一天。