沪江小编：男生们，有没有一种被戳中心思，内牛满面的感觉啊！真相帝果真是真相帝啊~

真相帝：Chris Rock著名的喜剧演员，主持人，编剧。他在脱口秀节目中的表现尤其夺人眼球，而在这里小编呈现给大家的就是Chris Rock一系列关于男女关系的脱口秀节目，看来不禁令人捧腹！！

中英原文：

It's right!So, right fellows, you got to talk,you got to talk.Fellows you got to talk.That is women's biggest complain.You do not talk. You do not talk.You do not talk.You need to talk. Let us talk.You do not talk.That is why women love to talk and it is right.They are talking the Olympics,the men would not stand a chance.Women love to talk but they do not want to talk to you. They want to talk to their men.But women do not want you to talk! Talk!Women just want you to listen, listen!As I say, all the women really want you to do is ask her the correct questions that will allow her to run her fucking mouth.
这就对了伙计们，你得说话，你得说话。伙计们，你得说话。这是女人最大的抱怨。你不说话，你不说话，你不说话。你得说话，让我们说话.你不说话。这就是为什么女人们爱说话，而且没错。男人和女人参加“聊天奥林匹克”的话，男人一点胜算都没有。女人们热衷于聊天，但是她们不愿意和你聊天，她们要和他们的男人聊天。但是女人们并不想要你说啊说啊~她们只想要你聆听，聆听！我的意思是，所有的女人只想要你做的是问她们正确的问题，这样她们就可以开动她们的嘴巴了。

You said an option knock him down.Fellows, you want your woman to be happy?All you got to say is: How was your day? How was your day? Honey, how was your day?You know why? Because how was your day is a 45 minute conversation to a woman and as a man, you do not really got to talk.You just act like you talking like,aha！Get out of here. Go.I do not believe you.You don't say,Really?Get out of here, Go.I don't believe you.I do not believe you.Get out of here.
一个选择就能把男人们打到了伙计们，你想要你们的女人开心吗?你只需要说:你今天过得怎么样？亲爱的，你今天过得怎么样？知道吗，因为“你今天过得怎么样”对于女人意味着一场长达45分钟的对话，而作为男人，你并不需要真正的说什么。你就装作在和她聊，嗯哼！ 得了吧。一边去。我才不信咧。你又不讲,真的啊？得了吧，一边儿去！我才不信咧！我才不信咧。得了吧。

I tell you that bitch is crazy.You got to throw in,I tell you that bitch is crazy.You know why? Because every woman got another woman that her job that she can not stand.Woman you all exaggerate everything, always turning it into some dynasty shit like: She is trying to destroy me? What the fuck are you talking about? You wrap uo bags in JC penny's. What she doing, she is ripping up your paper?
我跟你说了，那女人脑子有问题。你一定要配合她说这句话我跟你说了，那女人脑子有问题。因为每个女人觉得她职场上有个她受不了的女人。女人们喜欢夸大一切事情，总是小题大作，例如：我觉得她要毁了我！你在说什么呢？！你在JC PENNY'S里面做包装工，她要怎么来着，难道在那边拆包装吗?

Besides fellows you have got to talk.Women is exact opposite.You gotta learn when not to talk. That is right.Anyone knows how no man comes home straight from work?No man comes home straight from work. A man get up while he got to go somewhere.He got to bring something. He got to smoke something. He got to watch game. He got to hang with his boys. He got to take a drive. He got to do some that will mentality prepare him for all the talking. He go here, where he get hugged.
此外，伙计们你们得开口说话。女人则恰恰相反。得学着什么时候不该说话才对。大家都该知道没有男人下班了直接回家的吧没有男人下班了直接回家的。一个男人他起床就要上班他要养家糊口.他要抽烟,要看球赛,他要和朋友们出去玩要,去开车兜兜风,他要做一些能让他精神上做好思想准备的事情,就在他进门被拥抱的瞬间.

Ladies! Ladies! Not that you talk too much. You just pop too much with get in the fucking door! Let a man get situated.We do not need everything right away as soon as you take one step and you bla bla bla bla...Let me get my other foot into the fucking door! Let me get something to eat!Let me get something to drink. Let me take a shit! Go in the fucking kitchen and get me my piece of chicken.
女士们，女士们，并不是你们说了太多。只是男人刚进门你们就涌上来。让男人修整一下再说我们现在不需要所有东西左脚刚踏进门你就开始唧唧歪歪。让我把另一只脚踏进门再说！让我整点吃的。让我搞点喝的。让我拉坨屎。去厨房拿我的那份鸡肉来。

I'm outta here.Thank you New York.
我撤了。感谢纽约。

男生恋爱必备系列：请戳这里>>男生恋爱必备：女生为什么总是不爽(视频双语)