女人选择什么时候结婚最合适?(双语)
来源:译言
2010-05-04 10:50
The Supremes once sang "You can't hurry love." As it turns out, scientists have determined it's not advisable to hurry marriage either. Get the scoop on the best age to be wed.
正如一首名为《至高无上》的歌曲中曾经唱到的:“你不能爱得太急。”科学家们也同样建议,结婚也不可以操之过急。现在,让我们对应该何时结婚来探个究竟吧。
We doubt you were shocked when Avril Lavigne announced she was splitting from her husband of three years. But while it's tempting to assume the cause was her brattypersona or rocker lifestyle, comments from her friends suggested that something more universal was at play: She was only 21 when she tied the knot and later told pals that she realized she'd been too young to make such a life-altering decision. Could fellow young celebrity divorceés Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson, and Britney Spears have also hit the same age-related issue?
当艾薇儿宣布与她结婚了3年的丈夫离婚时,你一定感到非常震惊。于是大家纷纷猜测其中的原因,或许是由于她令人讨厌性格,或许是由于她那种摇滚式的生活。然而,来自于她的朋友们的评论却暗示了一个非常普通的原因:当年艾薇儿结婚时才只不过21岁,后来她曾跟她们说过,她意识到自己还太年轻,不应该就这样做出一个会改变一生的决定。同样,像瑞茜威瑟斯彭、凯特哈德森以及布兰妮斯皮尔斯等这些离了婚的名人,会不会也是由于年龄的问题?
The Magic Number
There are practical reasons for the mid-20s dividing line, and most of them boil down to two biggies: education and money. Turns out, the more years of higher education a woman has under her belt on her wedding day, the lower the chances that she'll get divorced ... and by 25, you're more likely to have earned a degree or two. "Educated women tend to be more confident about who they are and less willing to settle for a man who doesn't meet their standards," explains Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author of Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great.
There are practical reasons for the mid-20s dividing line, and most of them boil down to two biggies: education and money. Turns out, the more years of higher education a woman has under her belt on her wedding day, the lower the chances that she'll get divorced ... and by 25, you're more likely to have earned a degree or two. "Educated women tend to be more confident about who they are and less willing to settle for a man who doesn't meet their standards," explains Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author of Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great.
神奇的数字
以25岁作为一个结婚的分水岭是有一定的现实理由的,这些理由的绝大部分都可以归结于两大因素:受教育程度和金钱。其结论是,一个女人受到高等教育的年数越多,其离婚的可能性就越低。到了25的时候,你很可能已经获得了1个或者2个学位了。《5个步骤使你的婚姻从良好走向完美》一书的作者特里奥布奇博士说:“受过良好教育的女人往往更了解自己需要什么,所以不会选择那些不符合自己标准的男人。”
以25岁作为一个结婚的分水岭是有一定的现实理由的,这些理由的绝大部分都可以归结于两大因素:受教育程度和金钱。其结论是,一个女人受到高等教育的年数越多,其离婚的可能性就越低。到了25的时候,你很可能已经获得了1个或者2个学位了。《5个步骤使你的婚姻从良好走向完美》一书的作者特里奥布奇博士说:“受过良好教育的女人往往更了解自己需要什么,所以不会选择那些不符合自己标准的男人。”
Odds are that by 25 you're also supporting yourself, so there's less incentive for you to rush into marriage because you're seeking financial security from him.But the marriage-related benefits of working and having money of your own go beyond feeling secure, says Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of Finding Your Perfect Match. Learning to budget your cash carefully when you're single will help you avoid financial problems — one of the main causes of couple fights — for the rest of your life. And juggling responsibilities, dealing with differing personalities, and resolving conflicts on the job force you to develop skills that are necessary for maintaining long-term love.
这也可能是,等到了25岁,你便可以养活自己了,所以也就不急着需要一个婚姻里去寻求男人在经济上给予的保障。但是,《找到你的完美婚姻》一书的作者派帕施瓦辛格博士说,与婚姻有关的好处,比如工作和自己赚到的钱,会超越这种感觉上的保障。当你还是单身的时候,给自己的消费做好预算,能够避免你今后的生活出现经济问题,而这也是夫妻双方出现争吵的最主要原因。至于逃避责任,与各种不同性格的人打交道,处理工作上的矛盾等事情,都会迫使你培养出那些为维持一段长期婚姻所需要的技能。
Knowing the Real You
At 25, you've had time for some crucial life experiences, including a relationship or two that may have improved your Mr. Right radar. "You've probably dated enough to have a better idea of what you don't want in a man, which makes it easier to know what you can live with and can't live without," says Orbuch.
At 25, you've had time for some crucial life experiences, including a relationship or two that may have improved your Mr. Right radar. "You've probably dated enough to have a better idea of what you don't want in a man, which makes it easier to know what you can live with and can't live without," says Orbuch.
认识真正的你
到了25岁,你就有时间去做一些很重要生活体验,包括一两次恋爱,这会有助于你更好的去寻找自己真正的另一半。奥布奇还说,“你很可能在约会了很多次以后,就会知道自己不喜欢什么样的男人,这会使你更容易的知道什么样的人是你的唯一。”
到了25岁,你就有时间去做一些很重要生活体验,包括一两次恋爱,这会有助于你更好的去寻找自己真正的另一半。奥布奇还说,“你很可能在约会了很多次以后,就会知道自己不喜欢什么样的男人,这会使你更容易的知道什么样的人是你的唯一。”
Perhaps the most important aspect of waiting is that you'll know what your goals and values really are, says Paul Coleman, Psy.D., author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Intimacy. While you don't want to marry someone just like you, marriage is a lot easier if you two share a similar outlook on life.
《完整的白痴指南》一书的作者,哲学博士保罗卡尔曼说,或许等一等再结婚最重要的理由是你会知道你真正的目标和价值观是什么。当你不想与一个跟你一样的人结婚的时候,跟一个与你有着相同观点的人结婚就会变得很容易。
Twenty-four and already married to the man of your dreams? Don't worry: Many young marriages survive. But given the choice, you might consider putting off the big day until your mid-20s or later.
你是不是已经24岁并且嫁给心中的白马王子了?如果是这样也用不着担心:很多年轻的婚姻照样能够白头偕老。如果再给你一次选择的机会,你或许可以考虑一下把自己的终身大事推迟到25岁以后。
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