也许经历过种种不顺，还是没有寻得真爱，也许迷茫，也许痛苦，但你也要知道，对某个人来说，你，就是他在这浩瀚星河里还没有放弃爱情的理由。一位外国博主以他个人的经历分享了他的观点。

I don’t believe luck has anything to do with finding love.
我一直相信运气无关爱情

Are there a few people who easily find love, with all the fixing’s? Yes, but you and I aren’t one of those people.
是不是总有那么一部分人能通过各种手段，轻易就拥抱爱情。 事实的确如此，但是你我并不是这类人。

We’re the one’s who feel unlucky in love, left out and frustrated.
我们总是情场不顺，被爱情所遗忘，并且总是悲伤绝望。

It seems so EASY for others and so damn hard for us.
好像对别人来说这不是件难事，但对于我们却是非常困难的事情。

We painfully watch everyone else get fall in love and get married, wondering…
我们痛苦的看着身边的人陷入爱河，踏入婚姻的殿堂，不禁思考起人生：

‘When will it be my turn?
什么时候才能轮到我呢？’

‘Am I so unlovable?’
我就这么不受待见吗？

‘What’s wrong with me?’
我是有什么问题吗？

‘Why am I still single & stuck?
为什么我还是单身？’

… And frankly, it sucks.
说真的，这种感觉真的无法名状。

Worse, feeling unlucky in comparison to everyone else only creates more unworthiness and helplessness.
更糟糕的是，情场不顺的我们和别人比起来，自卑感和无助感总会油然而生

Like dating and looking for love wasn’t hard enough!!
约会和找到真爱果然是一点都不难啊！

If you know anything about my story, you know I spent 20 long years being a single, great catch. First by living with Mr. Wrong who wouldn’t commit, broke my heart and who I allowed to rip me off of my time, happiness and money to 10 long years of dating before I found my Mr. Right.I made every mistake possible. And I dated every different kind of man you can imagine. And wow, did I learn
.
如果你知道发生在我身上的事情，你会发现，我曾单身整整20年，那是十分的艰难的一段时光。一开始我和错的人在一起，那个连承诺都给不起的人伤透了我的心，然后我浪费了时间，幸福和金钱和他约会长达十年之久，之后我才遇到了我的真命天子。

Between my own life experience and my clients, I have seen it all, what I no longer have are any illusions or excuses about how finding love actually works.
来往于我自身的经历和我的客户们，我见证了种种，也失去了对如何找到真爱的幻想和借口。

Ignorance wasn’t bliss: I am grateful, I woke up and grew up and stopped waiting and wishing for love.
无知并不是一种福气：我很感激着，醒悟着，成长着，不再等待并且开始渴望真正的爱情。

One of the most powerful things I did was abandon the whole idea of LUCK.
其中影响最大的事情莫过于我摆脱了爱情有关运气的这个想法。

Imagine for a moment there was NO such thing as being LUCKY or UNLUCKY IN LOVE.
不要去想在爱情里幸运与否。

Imagine there is no destiny, no meant to be soulmate, just what you choose from an open array of choices in the buffet called life.
不要去想宿命论，或者有情人终成眷属，生活就好比你吃自助餐一般，在无数的选择中选择。

What would change? How might you ACT, THINK or FEEL differently? What would almost magically transform now that you no longer believe you’re unlucky, unworthy, flawed or cursed?The problem with LUCK…
影响因素会是什么呢？会是你所动，所想，所感的不同吗？若你不再坚信你是不幸的，渺小的，满是缺点的，不受待见的人，会不会有些东西就会微妙而又神奇的变化了呢？

The problem with ‘luck’ is that it’s passive. It convinces you, that all you have to do is wait and one magical day your wish for LOVE will be fulfilled. Like, Rapunzel in the Grimms Fairytale, the myth of sitting beautifully on your princess cushion awaiting your dream man to come rescue you, needs to be challenged.
带有运气成分的命题总是消极被动的。你会觉得，你所需要做的只是等待，然后有一天你一直期盼的爱情就会来临。 这就就好像在格林童话里，端坐在公主坐垫上的长发公主等待着真命天子的救赎，这个“故事”本身其实是站不住脚的。

Believing in LUCK or destiny means waiting for love so life can finally begin.The flawed belief that destiny will find you, rather than you meeting your own destiny by stepping up and digging in, keeps you hoping, wishing, praying, dabbling and desiring without getting anything done except in your mind.
一味的相信机遇和命运的话，你就会在原地等待爱情，最后的最后，你才开始了你的爱情故事。这个错误的信念的根本在于：你并没有自己通过一步一步向前开拓，去遇见你自己的命运。你只是听由的命运的指引，这样放任的结果就会导致你一直幻想，期待，祈祷，筹划并且渴望。但这一切终究是你脑海里的构想，却没有付诸实施。

This Magical notion that LOVE JUST HAPPENS, ONE LUCKY DAY, actually blocks you from attracting it.
爱情就是这样，在某个机缘巧合的日子，不禁意的悄然而至，抱有这个奇妙想法的你，实际上却远离了爱情。

Destiny isn’t a thing that exists outside of you, but an energy you create from your own presence and commitment that is so compelling, the universe, God, divinity – whatever you call it, steps up, takes notice and synchronistically places love in your path.
命运和你并不是分割的两部分，而是你根据本我的存在和承诺/义务，可以是十分玄妙的东西，万象，神，神性。 不论你怎么称呼它，大步向前吧，留意着，同时在你生命的旅途中小心安放你的爱情。

Then, fate steps back, crosses it fingers and says, be real, be present, put love first and don’t screw it up by closing off and shutting down.
然后，命运这个家伙便会后退，十指交叉着并说，要做自己，要活在当下，爱情纵然是重要的，但是不要封锁和隔离自己，这样爱情会离你而去。

Here’s what you MUST be willing to do to be lucky in love!
以下是情场得意的你所必须做的事情. 

(It’s everything I did to meet my mate)
（这是我为找到我的另一半曾经做过的所有事情）

Be committed, courageous and determined even if you feel defeated, frustrated and helpless.
即使当你觉得挫败，失意，无助，你也要忠诚，勇敢，坚定。

Be willing to fail: to have bad dates, say the wrong thing, make a fool of yourself, let your emotions get the best of you and then try again.
愿意面对失败：去体验糟糕的约会，去说错话，去犯傻，释放你最真实的情感，然后再试一次。

Be authentically you even if this means facing rejection (which is doubly hard if you care what others think. Do it anyway so you can be loved for you, just as you are).
要为人真诚，即使你可以会被拒绝（虽然这会越发的困难，尤其对那些太在意别人想法的人。但是你还是要做你自己，你就是你，就是因此别人才会喜欢你）

Be willing to date despite all your excuses, justifications and complaints. Go on that next date even when a part of you wants to quit.
不管有什么样的借口，理由和抱怨，都要去约会。即使你内心有所动摇，也要继续约会。

Be willing to confront the insecurities, mishaps, mistakes and patterns that are sabotaging your love life. Don’t take the easy road of blaming men or external circumstances for WHY you’re still single.
愿意直面不安，意外，错误以及所有影响你爱情的途径。不要因为单身就简单的归责于他人或者周遭的环境。

When you endure dishonesty, rejection or heartbreak, be willing to get back up, brush yourself off, inject massive doses of self-love into your system and date again. Think, that was then, this is now, I’ll try again).
当恋人对你不忠，求爱被拒或者极度悲痛时，试着去找下一任，忘记不开心的事情，给自己多注入一点自爱的成分然后再次开始约会。想着，过去的已经过去，我该做的只有拥抱当下，我不会就这么轻易放弃的。

Be vulnerable: fear, sweat, tears and all. Attracting and keeping real love demands you unmask, reveal who you are and open your heart. (there’s no other way).
“脆弱”一点：恐惧，焦虑，泪水以及别的种种。赢得和拥有真爱要求你必须卸下伪装，做自己以及敞开心扉。（别无他法）

Be willing to learn how to date, how to be in relationship and how to love. Grow in knowledge and ability with dedicated mastery.
学习如何去约会，如何开始一段感情，如何去爱。去慢慢习得并熟练爱情这门学问和技能。

 

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