秦奋:我宣布芒果女士和李香山先生的离婚典礼现在开始。
Qinfen: I proudly announce Ms. Mango and Mr. Li Xiangshan's divorce ceremony begins now.

秦奋:请二位旧人入场。
Qinfen: Please give a big hand for the "lovers-that-used-to-be".

秦奋:停。
Qinfen: Please stop.

秦奋:今天我们在一起见证我们的共同的好朋友---芒果和香山结束他们维持5年的婚姻,从夫妻变回熟人。
Qinfen: Today we gather to witness our mutual friends---Mango and Xiangshan to end their 5 years marriage and turn from husband and wife to friends.

秦奋:请你们对钱发誓,以下你们做出的承诺是诚实可信,深思熟虑,义无返顾的。
Qinfen: Please swear on this money that what you are going to say is completely honest, everything was carefully thought through.

秦奋:芒果,你诚实的回答我,把手放上,从今往后,不论香山多么富有,多么健康,多么爱你,你都不愿意和他在一起吗?
Qinfen: Mango, please answer me honestly, place your hand on, from now on, it doesn't matter how rich, how healthy or how much Xiangshan loves you, you still wouldn't be with him?

芒果:不愿意。
Mango: Nope.

秦奋:香山,你诚实的回答我,从今往后,不论芒果多么漂亮,多么动人,多么爱你,你都不愿意和他在一起吗?
Qinfen: Xiangshan, please answer me honestly, from now on, it doesn't matter how beautiful, how charming or how much Mango loves you, you still wouldn't be with her?

香山:不愿意。
Xiangshan: Nope.

秦奋:下面请二位互相交回戒指。
Qinfen: Please return your rings.

秦奋:我替你们挖抗埋了。
Qinfen: I'll bury them for you.

秦奋:要最后一吻吗?
Qinfen: One last kiss?

亲友:要!
Relatives & Friends: Yeah!

芒果:不必了吧。
Mango: I don't think that's necessary.

香山:那就不必了。
Xiangshan: Fine then.

秦奋:他们说不必了。
Qinfen: They don't see the point of that.

秦奋:下面剪喜字。
Qinfen: Now cut the character of "happiness".

秦奋:那就像熟人一样握个手吧。
Qinfen: Please shake hands like friends.

秦奋:再像熟人一样拥个抱吧。
Qinfen: Now hug like friends.

秦奋:离了也是好朋友。
Qinfen: Divorced but still good friends.

秦奋:散买卖,不散交情。
Qinfen: No longer in love business, but still open for friendship.

秦奋:二位倒香槟。
Qinfen: Please pour the champagne.

秦奋:不过啦。
Qinfen: It's over.

Notes:
give a big hand: 掌声欢迎,喝彩;注意如果少了big写作give a hand,意思则变为提供帮助。
lovers-that-used-to-be:旧爱
mutual: 共同的,彼此的;主要强调兴趣,观点,看法,感情等的共通
nope: (俚语)不,不会,不是
shake hands: 握手

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