Ew. You wish. 
you wish 你想得美哦！

Does this mean she's finally out from under her father's spell? 
under one's spell 被某人迷住 Fascinated or influenced by someone
就是中了某人的魔咒啦。

Why not let things end on a good note?
end on good note 见好就收，和平分手

because Dan loves being in the middle of these things.
in the middle of something 插一手
还能解释成忙于某事

I just got caught up in the moment,  and it came out all wrong.
catch up in the moment 一时兴起
come out wrong 表错意
 
He gave you one when you bailed on Brown.
bail on 失约，放鸽子
这里是指没有去上布朗大学。

Are you really taking his side right now? 
take one's side 站在某人这边，帮某人
这个还挺好理解的，站谁那边就表示支持某人咯。

Who are you, House? 
听到这句就喷饭了……因为演B的LM曾经客串过《豪斯医生》，还跟休·劳里合作了一电影忘年恋的。

Philosophy of war?  Hmm. I'm finally home.
finally home在这里的意思表示“我终于找到归宿”了，其实是B的自嘲。

so he sent Frick and Frack to ruin my date?
Frick and Frack 好搭档 two people who are closely linked in some way, especially through a work partnership
Frick and Frack是美国俩男子花滑运动员，这俩是搭档哦。

No way would another upper east sider shtup Rufus. 
shtup 【意第绪语（犹太无产阶级语言）】发生性关系

Yeah. It's also "Fatal Attraction."  I just can't handle dead bunnies. 
Fatal Attraction是迈克尔道格拉斯主演的电影《致命诱惑》


She's the one who can connect all the dots, 
connect all the dots 了解情况，理清头绪
其实就是把散落的点和点串联起来，组成一个整体。