How do you become confident if you are a very shy person?
特别胆小的人怎么变自信？

 

获得74.7k好评的回答@James Haforlarin：

1.I really desired confidence and was ready to give anything to have it- it all starts with this burning desire to want to be something more. I was going to be confident no matter what or I die trying!
1.我真的渴望获得自信，并准备好了为之付出一切——一切都源于你想达到某种目的的强烈愿望。只要能自信，无论付出什么代价，就算是死我都愿意试试。

2.I read lots of books on self-confidence and motivation alone- I have a lot of knowledge now that all came together from a large amount of books. When you combine the ideas from a wide range of authors, you get something better.
2.我自己读了大量关于自信和动力的书——我现在从大量书中学到了很多东西，把各种作者的思想结合在一起，你能从中获益。

3.I stayed away from them- you know them right? All those negative people who see the world as a prison, those who only spreads epic awfulness everywhere, all those who always make you feel uncomfortable and undervalued. In short, I ran away from them. I changed where I lived and my life got better….
3.我远离他们——你知道是谁吧？所有那些把世界看作监狱的人，那些只会到处传播超级负能量的人，所有那些总是让你不爽让你看轻自己的人。简言之，我远离他们，我搬了家，现在生活好多了。

4.I got support- I had my uncle family who helped me through it and several friends I met at seminars and workshops.
4.我得到了支持——我叔叔一家人以及我在研讨班和补习班遇到的几个朋友都帮我度过了难关。

5.I made my decisions final- the thing with shyness is that you make decisions to act and then you break it. Meanwhile, each time you break this little commitments, your self esteem drops. What I did was to make my decisions final. I don't say I want to approach a girl and back out. No. I made sure I was forced to act every time.
5.我做了决定就不改——胆小带来的一个后果就是你决定要采取行动之后又会反悔，同时每次你毁掉这个小小的承诺时你的自尊都会受损。我所做的就是做出决定就不改，我不会说了想追某个女孩然后又把话收回。不，我确保每次都强迫自己去采取行动。

6.I acted it out like Hollywood- It's really true that if you just start smiling and walking like a superman like I did then，you'd get superconfident in no time. I remember how I suddenly start speaking slowly, walking deliberately and always having that cool smile on. I'll maintain eye contact with everyone and spread out. With time I became addicted to this confidence acting. It became part of me.
6.我的行为举止都模仿好莱坞——真的，如果你像我以前一样开始模仿超人笑和走路的话，你马上会变得超级自信。我还记得那时突然开始放慢语速，放慢步速，脸上总是带着那种酷酷的笑。我会和每个人保持眼神接触，双臂摊开，慢慢地我迷上了这种自信的表现，它变成了我的一部分。

7.I started living with purpose- I realize I've really been on a high self esteem lately because of the control I bring to my life. I live everything in my life to purpose. Simply because I have goals in every aspect of my life and I've made the agreement to do my best in every situation. I've been sleeping better and my self love and self respect as been higher than ever. I don't blame myself for any mistakes because I know I did my best. I'm always glad with myself. This is the holy grail of self confidence and self esteem for me.
7.我开始为生活设定目标——我最近发现自己真的信心满满，因为我开始掌控自己的生活，生活中的一切都有目标。仅仅因为生活各方面都目标明确，我决定要在各种情况下都尽最大努力。我睡得更香了，比以前更爱也更尊重自己了，我不再因为任何错误责备自己，因为我知道自己尽力了。我总是为自己感到高兴，对我而言这就是自信和自尊的最高境界。

So now I am feeling so happy.
所以现在我很开心。

 

（翻译：菲菲）