Some recent research about employees who deal with abusive bosses shows that a well-intentioned study of workplace behavior can produce findings that confound the researchers’ predictions. This research found one unsurprising result; but another part of the findings - which puzzled the researchers — is what caught my eye.
最近关于员工如何应对老板虐待的一些研究表明，出于善意去研究职场行为，可以产生出不同于研究人员预测的结果。这项研究发现了一个令人惊讶的结果，但研究结果的另一部分，也就是使研究人员感到困惑的那一部分却引起了我的注意。
 
To explain, the research surveyed the ways in which employees behave when working for abusive bosses. Those are often people who are narcissistic, denigrating, arrogant and unsupportive — or outright undermining — of employee’s learning and development.
为了得到解释，研究调查了员工在受到老板虐待时的行为表现。那些老板常常很自恋，诋毁员工，还很傲慢。他们从不支持，甚至会直接破坏员工的学习和发展。
 
The unsurprising part of the findings was that just trying to avoid the abusive boss or plotting ways to retaliate didn’t work. That made things worse for the employee, according to the study, published in the Journal of Applied Psychology and summarized by Jena McGregor in the Washington Post.
意料之中的一个调查结果是，仅仅想躲开老板的虐待或者密谋报复都是行不通的。根据《应用心理学杂志》发表的研究报告以及Jena McGregor在《华盛顿邮报》中的总结，对员工来说，这些行为只会使情况更糟糕。
 
Rather, it’s the other set of findings is what got my attention. Here, the researchers predicted that “acts of compassion and empathy — employees who assist bad bosses by going above and beyond, helping bosses with heavy workloads even when they’re not asked” would lead to diminished abuse by those bosses. And, that “acts of kindness might help lessen future rude or abusive behavior.”
相反，另一组发现则引起了我的注意。在这个研究里，研究人员预测，怜悯和共情的行为——也就是员工即使不被老板要求，也会帮助坏老板，完成繁重工作量——会帮助他们少受些老板的滥待。而且，仁慈的行为也有助于减少未来的所受的粗鲁和虐待行为。
 
The researchers were surprised to discover that it didn't happen. Instead, according to the study’s co-author Charlice Hurst,"Abusive supervisors didn’t respond to followers being positive and compassionate, and doing things to be supportive and helpful.” The researchers concluded that their findings seemed to “clash with common sense."
研究人员惊奇地发现，这并没有发生。相反，根据研究的合作者Charlice Hurst的说法，“虐待员工的主管并不会给予下属积极的回应和同情心，以及一些支持和帮助”。研究人员得出结论，他们的发现似乎“与常理相冲突。”
 
Really? I think most anyone who’s ever worked for abusive bosses would laugh at such “common sense” assumptions. No, trying to be “nice” or empathic towards the narcissistic, arrogant boss who often makes conflicting demands on employees isn’t going to produce positive change.
这是真的吗？我认为大多数工作上曾经受到老板虐待的人都会笑这样的“常识”假设。不是，自恋又自大的老板常常向员工提出互相矛盾的请求，所以对这样的老板表示友好和同情并不会获得积极的改变。
 
What Helps?
什么才有用呢？
 
However, a hint at what can help comes from another study. It found that employees who find ways to disengage, emotionally, from abusive bosses, experience a greater sense of managing their dilemma and its emotional impact.
然而，什么才会有帮助这一线索来自于另一项研究。结果发现，员工若是想方设法在情绪上摆脱老板的虐待，会体会到强烈的困境掌控感和情绪的感染力。
 
That’s consistent with what I’ve found in my work with men and women who deal with these situations. That is, if you reframe how you envision your situation to begin with, that can open the door to proactive, positive, constructive actions in the situation you feel trapped in. There are several ways you can do this. It can begin with what one mid-level executive did, for example, as she looked for an alternative to just hunkering down, feeling depressed and disempowered.
这与和我一起工作的需要应付这类情况的男性、女性中发现的一致。 也就是说，如果你重新设想你的情况是如何开始的，那么你就能在困境中有机会先行一步，占据积极主动的地位。有几种方法可以做到这一点。例如，这可能会从一个中层管理人员开始，当她在寻找一个人作替代品时，低调的，沮丧的，不重要的人则会中枪。
 
She began with mindfulness meditation, focusing her attention on simply observing the negative emotions her boss’s behavior aroused in her. Just “watching” her emotions pass through her weakened her tendency to dwell in anger or pursue unproductive actions. That initiated a shift towards stepping “outside” herself — outside the narrow vantage point of her own ego - and towards seeing herself as though a character in a movie. With that expanded perspective she could view her boss as simply being the person he was; no matter what the psychological reasons were for why he was that way; or how she judged them. Emotional disengagement helped her not take his behavior personally, although it impacted her personally. In effect, she remained “indifferent” to her own emotional reactions. And yet she stayed engaged in seeking solutions to her situations.
她开始于冥想，注意力只集中在观察老板在她身上引起的消极情绪。 仅关注于自己所受的情绪削弱了她倾向于愤怒或追求无效的行为。这开始转向“走出去”——走到自我狭隘的角度之外去——并且看到自己就像一部电影中的角色一样。有了这个展开的思维方式，她可以把她的老板看成是他自己的人; 不管心理原因是为什么他是这样的; 或者她如何判断他们。情绪脱离有助于她不用亲自行动，尽管她个人影响了自己的行为。实际上，她对自己的情绪反应仍是“无动于衷”，但是她不停地在为她的情况寻求解决办法。
 
For example, she began to ask him directly for ways she could aid his objectives - rather than avoid or circumvent him. She also decided to cede control of some areas that didn’t matter to her, but which her boss seemed to enjoy micromanaging. Her disengaged perspective strengthened her confidence in her expertise; that her boss’s agenda or his abusive management didn’t diminish it.
例如，她开始直接问他是否可以帮助他完成目标——而不是逃避或规避他。她还决定控制一些与她无关的领域，但她的老板似乎喜欢微观管理。她的脱离观点增强了她对自己专长的信心; 她老板的日常工作事项或老板的虐待并没有减少。
 
Additionally, however - and importantly - she concluded that her future under him was probably a dead end for the foreseeable future. So she immediately updated her resume and began looking for a new position. This kept her focused on her career development objectives while navigating through her situation with as little friction as possible.
此外，无论如何——重要的是——她总结说，在可预见的将来，她在他手下工作的话，未来可能是一个死胡同。于是她立即更新了简历，开始寻找新的职位。这使她专注于她的职业发展目标，同时尽可能减少与老板之间的摩擦。
 
Of course, it’s important to self-examine at the outset when you find yourself in a bad situation. Look honestly, with outside help if necessary, at what you might be contributing to the problem. Ask yourself, “How much is it me or the situation?” Without doing that, you might take actions that you later regret or that prove to be unhelpful.
当然，当你发现自己处于不利的状况时，首先要自我反省，这点很重要。老实说，如果有必要，在外部帮助下，你可能会处理好这个问题。问问自己，“我自己怎么样？目前的情况怎么样？”没有这样做你就行动，以后你可能会后悔或者发现之前的做法是无益的。
 
Nevertheless the example I described above highlights some guidelines that help people deal with a range of abusive, destructive and otherwise unhealthy management. They include:
不过，接下来的例子强调了一些指导方针，帮助人们处理一系列侮辱性，破坏性或其他不健康的管理。他们包括：
 
Create an emotional buffer zone. Observe your internal emotional responses to your situation, but recognize that you’re not obligated to act on them. Visualize a “space” between your emotions and how you choose to deal with them in your behavior. If you don’t, you’re likely to say or do something unhelpful or damaging to yourself. Stay aware of your buttons that your boss is pushing, but don’t get drawn into reacting to your boss’s emotional issues. Recognize that you always have a choice about what you do with your emotions in your own behavior.
创建情绪缓冲区。观察你对情况的内在情绪反应，但认识到你无法对他们采取行动。这时你可视化你情绪之间的“空间”，以及你如何选择在你的行为中处理他们。如果你不这样做，你可能会对自己说出或做出某些没有帮助或有伤害的事情。留意你老板的动向，但不要对老板的情绪问题作出反应。要意识到自己总是有选择的机会来用自己的行为处理你的情绪。
 
Expand your perspective. The buffer zone around your triggered emotions enlarges your perspective about the situation: what’s feeding into it, and what may be driving your boss’s conduct. Seeing the problem in a much larger context includes looking at many factors. For example, the role of other players or other organizational issues and politics, regardless of what your opinion is about them. It includes considering that your boss’s controlling or abusive behavior may reflect some fear about her or his own security in the position.
展开你的视角。你所触发的情绪周围的缓冲区扩大了你对情况的看法：什么正涌进来，以及什么会驱使你老板的行为。在更大的环境中看待这个问题需要看很多因素。例如，其他玩家的角色或其他组织问题和政治，无论你对此有何看法，它包括考虑到你老板的控制或虐待行为可能会反映出他对自己或自身安全的一些恐惧。
 
Act with “engaged indifference.“ That buffer zone and an enlarged perspective helps you become more proactive towards managing your situation, while being “indifferent” to your own emotional reactions that are triggered along the way. You’re less likely to be drawn towards unproductive behavior fueled by anger, resentment or self-pity. You might even decide to look for ways to help your boss feel more secure or supported, despite what you think of him or her, because doing that might diminishe your boss’s anxiety and will therefore make your life a bit easier as long as you remain there.
采取“冷漠无情”的态度。缓冲区和展开的视角帮助你更加主动地管理你的情况，同时对你自己的情绪反应进行“无动于衷”处理。你不太可能被愤怒，愤慨或自怜所驱动的非生产性行为所吸引。 你甚至可能决定寻找方法帮助你的老板感到更安全或更受支持，不管你对他或她的看法是什么，因为这样做可能会削弱你老板的焦虑，因此只要你留在那里，你的生活会变得容易一些。
 
Avoid Another Abusive Situation. If you decide you must leave, then do the research when considering a new job: Look for signs of a potentially negative situation by, for example, paying attention to what you hear during interviews; asking people within the organization what it’s like to work for that company or that boss; heed any red flags raised by what you hear...and don’t contribute to history repeating itself.
避免另一种虐待情况。如果你决定离开，那么在考虑一项新工作时就进行研究：例如，通过注意你在采访中听到的内容来寻找潜在的消极情绪的迹象; 向组织内部的人询问该公司或该老板工作的情况; 注意你听到的任何危险信号，不要重蹈覆辙。
 

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