"What an honor it is for you to have me here, and what a thrill it is to bring my show to the men and women in the U.S. military in Iraq. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Iraq. The country so nice, we invaded it twice." --Stephen Colbert, airing his show in front of U.S. troops in Iraq as part of "Operation Iraqi Stephen: Going Commando"
你们在这里看到我是多么荣幸的事情啊,把我的节目带给伊拉克军队里的男男女女是多么让人兴奋的事情啊!就是这样,女士们,先生们,伊拉克,这个国家太好了,我们侵略了它两次。——斯蒂芬·科尔伯特

"But you know, it must be nice here in Iraq, because I understand some of you keep coming back again, and again, and again. ... The good news is, you've earned enough frequent flier miles for a free ticket to Afghanistan." --Stephen Colbert
但是你们知道,在伊拉克肯定挺好的,因为我明白你们中一些人一直回来,再回来,再回来……好消息是你们已经累积了足够的飞行里数得到一张免费机票去阿富汗。——史蒂芬·科尔伯特

"Yesterday, Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor fell and broke her ankle, and she's expected to be on crutches for several weeks. In a related story, Republicans have announced that Sotomayor's confirmation hearing will consist of three questions and a timed obstacle course." --Conan O'Brien
昨天,大法官提名人索尼娅·索托马约尔绊了一下伤了她的脚踝。她可能要有几周拄拐行动了。在一个相关报道中,共和党人已经宣布说索托马约尔的听证会会包括三个问题和一个计时超越障碍训练。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"Al Gore is back in the news today because President Obama is saying he might send him to North Korea to negotiate with Kim Jong-Il. I'm thinking if you're going to send a vice president to negotiate with a madman, why don't you send Joe Biden? At least Biden speaks the language of crazy. He understands the ways of the bonkers." --Craig Ferguson
阿尔·戈尔今天上新闻了,因为奥巴马总统说可能会让他去朝鲜和金正日协商。我就在想啊,如果你要派一个副总统去和一个疯狂的家伙协商,为什么不派乔·拜登呢?至少乔·拜登会说疯言疯语。他明白疯狂的人们的行事方式。——克莱格·弗格森

"In a new interview, Hillary Clinton said she originally turned down the job as secretary of state. Yup. After hearing about it, Bill Clinton said, 'Yeah, that's not the only kind of job she's turned down.'" --Conan O'Brien
在一个新的采访中,希拉里·克林顿说她本来是拒绝了国务卿的工作的。嗯,听说这个消息后,比尔·克林顿说,是啊,这不是她拒绝的唯一一种工作。

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