Teacher: Where does God live?

老师：上帝住哪儿？

Student: I think he lives in our bathroom.

学生：我想他应该住我家浴室。

Teacher: Why do you say that?

老师：为什么这么说？

Student: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, "God, are you still in there?"

学生：因为每天早上我爸都猛敲浴室的大门喊：“上帝啊，你怎么还在里面？”

Teacher: How can you tell a hawk has good eyesight?

老师：为什么说鹰的视力很好？

Student: Because I have never seen a hawk wearing spectacles.

学生：因为我从没见过哪只鹰戴眼镜。

Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?

老师：汤姆！约翰！你俩今天为什么迟到了！

Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin and was searching for it.

汤姆：老师，我一直在找我丢失的一美元硬币。

Teachear: John, what about you?

老师：那么你呢，约翰？

John: Madam, I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.

约翰：老师，我不能动啊，我把他的硬币藏脚底下了。

Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?

老师：你父亲有没有帮着你做作业？

Student: No, he did it all by himself.

学生：没有，他是独立完成的。

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?

老师：西印度群岛有哪些产物？

Student: I don't know.

学生：我不晓得。

Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?

老师：怎么会不知道，你每天吃的糖哪儿来的？

Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

学生：邻居家借的。

Teacher: This is the fifth time this week that I have had punished you. What do you want to say?

老师：这已经是我本周第五次罚你了。想说点什么？

Student: Thank god Saturday and Sunday are holidays, Sir!

学生：还好礼拜六礼拜天不上课啊老师！

Teacher: Jimmy, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

老师：吉米，你那篇关于“我的小狗”的文章和你哥哥写的一模一样。你是不是抄你哥的？

Jimmy: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

吉米：老师，我没抄袭。文章一样是因为我们写的是同一条狗啊！

Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn't you?

Student: Not very much!

*这则就不翻译啦，翻译出来的话说不通。miss既有“错过”的意思，也有“想念”的意思。老师问的是“你昨天没来学校不是吗？”，而学生理解成了“你昨天很想念学校不是吗？”，因此回答“不太想！”

Tom: Great news, teacher says we have a test today come rain or shine.

汤姆：好消息，老师说今天不管下雨还是天晴我们都要考试。

John: So what's great about that?

约翰：那有什么好高兴的？

Tom: It's snowing outside!

汤姆：因为现在外面在下雪！

*come rain or shine是指“不管发生什么情况”，相当于我们所说的“风雨无阻”。而汤姆以为是指下雨和天晴两种情况下需要考试。

Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?

老师：为什么你一天里能犯那么多错！

Pupil: I get up early!

学生：谁让我起得早呢！

更多师生精彩笑话：【美图学英语】小孩很冷>>