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Tia Marias

Rae

Just Seventeen

um

It's been two days and he still hasn't called. I'm such an idiot! It clearly wasn't a date.
I thought it might not be a date. You guys hang out all the time. Have you even kissed yet?
No.
I don't think it was a date.
What about what he wrote on your back? He must like you.
Yeah, well, the thing with that was... I'd had three Tia Marias. So maybe he actually wrote something really weird, like... I'm an emu.
Rae... Oh... Maybe you're right about what he wrote, but he meant it as a friend.
I don't want him as a friend. I want him to go down on me for so long that he has to evolve gills.
All right, calm down... and drink some of your coke.
I think I might know why he hasn't been in touch, Rae.
Why?
It's because you beat him at bowling.
What?
Men don't like being beaten at sports.
Do they not?
No, seriously. They feel like it, um, emasculates them. I read it in Just Seventeen.
What am I going to do? My relationship is over and it hasn't even begun.
No, no, calm down. You need to be in a situation with him where he can show you that he's manly. You know? Where he can show you that he is strong... and he is fierce.

都两天了，他还是没来电话。我真是白痴，那根本不是约会。
我觉得那不是约会，你们总一起玩。你们接吻了吗？
没有。
我觉得那不算约会。
他在你后背写字了，他一定很喜欢你。
是啊，但问题是我喝了三杯咖啡甜酒。或许他写了很奇怪的东西...我是只鸸鹋。
瑞伊，或许你猜对了。也许他当你是朋友。
我不想和他做朋友。我一直希望他能把我“吃掉”。
冷静。喝点可乐吧。
瑞伊，我知道他没有联系你的原因了。
为什么？
因为打保龄球时，你赢了他。
什么？
男生子运动项目上不喜欢输给女生。
是吗？
是的，他们会感觉受到屈辱了。我在“十七岁”（英文原版时尚杂志）里读到的。
我该怎么办？我的爱情还没开始就结束了。
不，不会的，冷静。你得和他一起遭遇某种情况。让他表现给你看，他很有男子气概。懂吗？能让他表现给你看，他很强壮，而且很厉害。

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