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Don't tell me you're actually buying into Barney's freeway theory. Watch your steps when you get up, kids, cause I am about to drop some knowledge. Relationships are like a freeway. Wait a minute, a month ago you told me relationships are like a traveling circus. No, this is new. This trumps that. Freeways have exits. So do relationships. The first exit, my personal favorite, is six hours in. You meet, you talk, you have sex, you exit when she's in the shower. So every girl you have sex with feels the immediate need to shower? Actually, yeah, I get that. The next exits are four days, three weeks, seven months, that's when you guys are gonna break up, mark your calendars. What? Then a year and a half, 18 years, and the last exit death. Which, if you've been with the same woman for your entire life, it's like, "Are we there yet?" So I've never been on the freeway this long before. I mean, usually by now I find out the guy has some weird personality thing that makes me want to take the next exit. Yeah, been there. I once dated a guy who could only go to the bathroom when classical music was playing.
你不会真的信巴尼的"高速公路"理论! 孩子们 好好听着 我要教你们一堂一生不忘的课， 谈恋爱就像一条高速公路。 你上个月才告诉我谈恋爱跟杂技团一样。 可是这个比喻是新的，胜过那个... 高速公路和谈恋爱一样都有出口... 谈恋爱的第一个出口，是在谈到六个小时的时刻。 我最爱的也是这个出口。 两人见面、交谈、做爱，然后在她洗澡的时候下高速。 每一个和你做爱过的女人。 都立即要洗澡? 其实不用回答，我理解。 接下来的三个出口是第四天、第三个星期和第七个月... 你们俩到那时就会分手。 日历上记着... 什么? 还有别的出口是一年半以后、十八年以后、 和最后的出口，死的时候... 如果你一生只跟一个女人在一起... 你将会丧气地问到 "我们到了吗?" 我一辈子也没上过这么长的高速公路... 一般和一个人处了久以后，我就发现这个人的性格有毛病，迫不及待的上下一个出口。 完全理解，这事对我也发生过。 我以前谈过一个只能听着古典音乐方便的人...