文来自联合国官网《变革我们的世界:2030年可持续发展目标》,译文同样来自联合国官网。

This Agenda is a plan of action for people, planet and prosperity. It also seeks to strengthen universal peace in larger freedom. We recognize that eradicating poverty in all itsforms and dimensions, including extreme poverty, is the greatest global challenge and an indispensable requirement for sustainable development.

本议程是为人类、地球与繁荣制订的行动计划。它还旨在加强世界和平与自由。我们认识到,消除一切形式和表现的贫困,包括消除极端贫困,是世界最大的挑战,也是实现可持续发展必不可少的要求。

点评:整体来说,联合国文件英译汉更加注重原文的通顺,对于一些英语中特有的表达,在不影响意义传达的基础上往往省去,这一点在翻译时要特别注意,因为很多考生更多注重了所谓局部的忠实而忽略了整体译文的平顺和地道,出现了很多机器式译文或者翻译腔。

Seek to:译文完全忽略seek一词的本意,直取“旨在”,这已成为一种联合国公文体式上的对应,译者不需要自造。

universal peace in larger freedom.世界和平与自由,比较级与介词全部省去,正所谓减词不减含义。

forms and dimensionsdimension一词的处理非常值得借鉴,机械地译为维度只能造成意义的抽象和翻译腔。

We are resolved to free the human race from thealleviation of poverty and heal and protect our planet. We are determined to take the bold and transformative steps which are urgently needed to shift the world onto a sustainable and resilient path.

我们决心让人类摆脱贫困和匮乏,让地球治愈创伤并得到保护。我们决心大胆采取迫切需要的变革步骤,让世界走上可持续且具有恢复力的道路。

点评:

alleviation of poverty:直译为减贫,但与free搭配显得词不达意,还是整体理解后进行处理较为妥帖。

the bold and transformative steps which are urgently needed,注意这三个修饰词在译文中的处理,bold被译为副词,transformative变为名词修饰语而定语从句则变为了形容词,三个修饰部分只翻译出一个形容词,符合汉语一般不罗列形容词的习惯。这个句子的价值很高,除去注意原文的译法之外,积累这种以形容词来表示动词的方法,对于提高汉译英修饰语安排的能力具有重要意义。

本段中的heal和resilient 两词译得相对比较生硬,也是原文精确达意的需要,这点也要注意,正所谓能删则删,不能则保留。

The 17 Sustainable Development Goals and 169 targets which we are announcing today demonstrate the scale and ambition of this new universal Agenda. They seek to build on the Millennium Development Goals and complete what these did not achieve. They seek to realize the human rights of all and to achieve gender equality and the empowerment of all women and girls. They are integrated and indivisible and balance the three dimensions of sustainable development: the economic, social and environmental.

我们今天宣布的17个可持续发展目标和169个具体目标展现了这个新全球议程的规模和雄心。这些目标寻求巩固发展千年发展目标,完成千年发展目标尚未完成的事业。它们要让所有人享有人权,实现性别平等,增强所有妇女和女童的权能。它们是整体的,不可分割的,并兼顾了可持续发展的三个方面:经济、社会和环境。

点评:

complete what these did not achieve.英语当中的名词性从句往往可以根据上下文处理成相关的抽象名词,这里译为事业,是一种比较常规的手段。

achieve gender equality and the empowerment of all women and girls.此处原文为achieve搭配两个抽象名词的结构,而译文则将empowerment还原为动词,非常灵活和通顺。

balance the three dimensions of sustainable development: the economic, social and environmental: balance 译为兼顾,转译比较灵活。

We are meeting at a time of immense challenges to sustainable development. Billions of our citizens continue to live in poverty and are denied a life of dignity.

我们的会议是在可持续发展面临巨大挑战之际召开的。我们有几十亿公民仍然处于贫困之中,生活缺少尊严。

点评:

a time of immense challenges此处“之际”二字用来翻译time,地道而妥帖

are denied a life of dignity.这里的are denied,不宜直接照搬被动,转为“缺少”体现译者的功力,同时对汉英也不乏借鉴。汉英中有时表示否定词都可以用deny, refuse, absent, reject, deprive, prevent这类肯定形式的词汇来处理,显得地道、直截了当。

There are rising inequalities within and among countries. Gender inequality remains a key challenge. Unemployment, particularly youth unemployment, is a major concern. Global health threats, more frequent and intense natural disasters, spiraling conflict, violent extremism, terrorism and related humanitarian crises and forced displacement of people threaten to reverse much of the development progress made in recent decades.

国家内和国家间的不平等在增加。性别不平等仍然是一个重大挑战。失业特别是青年失业,是一个令人担忧的重要问题。全球性疾病威胁、越来越频繁和严重的自然灾害、不断升级的冲突、暴力极端主义、恐怖主义和有关的人道主义危机以及被迫流离失所,有可能使最近数十年取得的大部分发展进展功亏一篑。

点评:
rising inequalities:“不平等在增加”英译汉偏正结构变主谓的手段非常常见

within and among countries.这里同样可以译为“国内与国际间”,反过来就可以在汉英过程中替代domestically and internationally, home and abroad 等等,用以丰富汉英翻译的武器库。

 spiraling conflict,像这类的表达都属于地道而正式的说法,需要不断积累。

threaten to reverse:这一表达看似简单,实则“凶险”,threaten一词似可译为“威胁”而reverse似可译为“反转”,但两词搭配就显得极其生硬拗口,有经验的译者绝对不会满意于这样“半生不熟”、似是而非的译文,而阅卷人也往往不喜欢这类需要猜测意义的文字,也就意味着需要改变说法。实际上,问题的关键在于汉语不习惯用事件做为威胁的主语,因此需要转为“有可能使或者令。”而“反转”一词几乎也不与“发展”构成搭配,因此转义为功亏一篑。

Natural resource depletion and adverse impacts of environmental degradation, including desertification, drought, land degradation, freshwater scarcity and loss of biodiversity, add to and exacerbate the list of challenges which humanity faces. Climate change is one of the greatest challenges of our time and its adverse impacts undermine the ability of all countries to achieve sustainable development.

自然资源的枯竭和环境退化产生的不利影响,包括荒漠化、干旱、土地退化、淡水资源缺乏和生物多样性丧失,使人类面临的各种挑战不断增加和日益严重。气候变化是当今时代的最大挑战之一,它产生的不利影响削弱了各国实现可持续发展的能力。

点评:相对比较简单,注意积累其中有特点的词汇和词组用法,包括Natural resource depletion,adverse impacts ,exacerbate the list of challenges ,undermine the ability,注意这些特定用法一定要记住整个词组,这样用起来会比较从容自信。

The Millennium Development Goals were agreed 15 years ago provided an important framework for development and significant progress has been made in a number of areas. But the progress has been uneven, particularly in Africa, least developed countries, landlocked developing countries, and small island developing States, and some of the Millennium Development Goals remain off-track, in particular those related to maternal, newborn and child health and to reproductive health.

千年发展目标是在近十五年前商定的。这些目标为发展确立了一个重要框架,已经在一些重要领域中取得了重大进展。但是各国的进展参差不齐,非洲、最不发达国家、内陆发展中国家和小岛屿发展中国家尤其如此,一些千年发展目标仍未实现,特别是那些涉及孕产妇、新生儿和儿童健康的目标和涉及生殖健康的目标。

点评:

some of the Millennium Development Goals remain off-track

”目标”仍未实现这类的表达看似比较突兀,实则有迹可循,实际上是为了达到不重复或者强调时采用的求雅替换结构。一旦明白了这一点,翻译的时候就可以沉着应对,删繁就简。

We recommit ourselves to the full realization of all the Millennium Development Goals, including the off-track Millennium Development Goals, in particular by providing focused and scaled-up assistance to least developed countries and other countries in special situations, in line with relevant support programs. The new Agenda builds on the Millennium Development Goals and seeks to complete what these did not achieve, particularly in reaching the mostvulnerable countries.

我们承诺全面实现所有千年发展目标,包括尚未实现的目标,特别是根据相关支助方案,重点为最不发达国家和其他特殊处境国家提供更多援助。新议程巩固发展了千年发展目标,力求完成没有完成的目标,特别是帮助最弱势群体。

点评:

recommit ourselves to the full realization of…又是一处形容词转副词的译法,注意汉英当中有意识的应用。

focused and scaled-up assistance:“重点”同样可以用形容词来呈现,而scale-up这一用法可以简译为更多。